Monday, January 31, 2011

Just My Imagination

"Hey, Mom? Where's my imagination?"

"It's inside your head."

"Is it very, very huge and gigantic?"

"I think yours is, yes."

"How does it fit inside there?"

"It's in your brain. Your brain can fit a lot."

"Yeah. There's a lot of stuff in there. Like it has The Battle of Endor, and the Jingle Bells song and those little ice cream sandwiches we had yesterday for snack. And also a horse."

"That is a lot."


Sweet Math

"Can I have two cookies, Mom?"

"No, babe."

"One cookie? Can I have one?"

"No. It's bedtime, Bob."

"Okay. How about zero cookies?"

"That's fine."

"Good... How many is zero?"

"Zero is the same as none."

"Mom? That didn't work out so good for me."

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Out to Lunch

"Mom? What's all over the floor here?"

"That's sawdust."

"Why is it everywhere?"

"It's an old-fashioned thing that some restaurants do."

"They should do more cleaning."

Friday, January 28, 2011

It's Not Me

photo from here

"Can I have some marshmallows, Mom?"

"No, Babe. Remember I said no more sweets for now?"

"It's not me asking, Mom. It's my body."

"Is that right?"

"My body says it needs marshmallows. Also my body says please."

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Rules for My Room

These Are the Rules for My Room by Bob Rosenberg

1. No fighting.
2. No hurting feelings.
3. No milk on the rug.
4. Brush your teeth before bed.
5. Eat a lot of food so that you can be big and strong.
6. Have an exercise.
7. Do Star Wars Legos.
8. Don't forget your pajamas.
9. Candy Land is the best thing to play while you wait for your dad to come home from work.
10. Don't watch too many shows or you will get a brain-ache.
11. No bothering.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

To Be Clear

"So Mom? Am I your sweetheart?"

"Yes you are."

"You're my sweetheart too."

"Thanks, babe."

"And also daddy and Daisy and Violet and Pearl are my sweethearts."

"They're a lucky bunch."

"Are they your sweethearts too?"


"Mom? What about Mia? Is she your sweetheart?"

"I think Mia is your sweetheart."

"Yeah. You're right."

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Oh, My

Everyone's in a mood.

"But Mom! I want to watch another show!"

"I'm sorry, Bob. TV time is over for today."

"But just one Kipper!"


"Mom. I am calling the police so that they can take you away."


"You're having a bad manners. You should go in your room and think about it, Mom."

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Future

Photo of his mother by Bob Rosenberg

"Dad said that when big kids go to college they sometimes move out of their house from their parents."

"Some do."

"When I'm in college I want you to come live at there with me, Mom."

"I can almost guarantee that I will want to do that and I can almost guarantee that you will change your mind, and that's okay."

"I won't change my mind."

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Smacksy Sunday Links

Bob and a fancy-pants grilled cheese

This fascinating clip from the BBC shows 200 years of world progress in just four minutes.

This SNL sketch makes me laugh in that horrifying it's-funny-because-it's-true way.

In the top 10 cute photos of last year, #10 and #9 are my favorites.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Smacksy Saturday Photo: A Privacy

"My room is going to be a privacy now. Only guys are allowed like dad and my guy friends and the only girls can be Mia and the cats and maybe the dog. You can knock mom, I'll come out, probably."

Friday, January 21, 2011

It Counts

"Mom? Can I watch a Star Wars Lego video on your phone?"

"Okay, just one."


"Mom? I watched one but I have to watch another one."

"No. I said just one."

"Yeah, but I didn't like that one so I have to have another one."

"It doesn't work that way, Bob."

"I wish it did."

"Me too."

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


"Mom? Let's play sneak."

"Okay. How do you play?"

"You just do whatever you're doing and I will spy on you."

"I can do that."

"But the big thing is that when I am sneaking on you, you can't realize me."


"No! Don't realize me now!"

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


This may look like a paper plate full of dirt mixed with glue and various noodles but do not be mislead. It's actually a paleontological dig specimen filled with dinosaur fossils. I have been told that I am to keep it on our buffet for my "entire life." Done.

Monday, January 17, 2011

A Wise Man

"All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Happy Birthday, Dr. King

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Smacksy Sunday Links

Happy Sundae

This is a wonderful photo site of movie stars on bikes. Found via Cup of Jo.

Here's a little something I wrote for Main Street about my ideal vehicle.

The most awesome-ever footage of James Brown. Totally worth watching all 14:58.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Breakfast Manners

"Mom! I want more crackle-dy rice cereal right now!"

"Try saying that again, please."


"And say it politely."

"Mom, please don't make me try saying it again please!"

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Down Time

Bad Guy Army photo by Bob Rosenberg

"Hey, Mom? You want to come in my room for some relax time with me?"

"Yes I do."

"Okay. You go in. I'll be right there. I just gotta get Jango Fett and Kit Fisto and the Storm Trooper and the other Storm Trooper and Anakin Skywalker without his hand and the Ewok that I don't know his name and the Ewok's brother and Plo Koon's astromech R7-D4 and..."

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What's With Everyone?

Found: Violet standing in the middle of the dining room table staring at the light fixture.

Found: Pearl sleeping inside her litter box.

Found: Daisy lying under the couch cushions.

Found: Bob in his storm trooper costume, standing in the bathtub shoving a peanut butter cup under his mask.

Found: Me in the laundry room hiding from all of these weirdos.

I love these weirdos.

Doctor Cat Doctor

Bob and I took Pearl to the vet for her check up. As usual, Pearl was not amused. Bob had a discussion with our vet about her prognosis.

"So, Bob. She seems to have a little arthritis in her elbows but we have something we can give her that might help that."

"That's good. Did you know that I'm four-and-a-half?"

"Is that right? And what do you want to be when you grow up?"


"Maybe a veterinarian?"

"No. Definitely not that. I'm going to be a Jedi Master."

"I see."

"I think they might need more of those at Star Wars."

Monday, January 10, 2011


"Hey, remember the 'naughty chair,' Mom?"


"I remember it."

"Really? We tried that once when you were two, Bob."

"Why didn't we do it anymore after that one time?"

"Because it's supposed to be like a time out but you liked it and that defeated the purpose."

"We don't do time outs either, remember?"

"Yes, I do. Same reason."

"It's still a fun chair."


Sunday, January 9, 2011

Smacksy Sunday Links

This short documentary is about an extraordinary genius.

This is because you know I dig me some pictures of bookshelves.

I love them. (Better than the original.)

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Smacksy Saturday Photo

He woke up with this big piece of hair
sticking straight up in the back and I
left it there all day because I loved it.

Friday, January 7, 2011


As Jeff drove Bob's friend Brandon home from a play date, he listened to the conversation coming from the backseat.

"Brandon? You're my best friend, Brandon."

"You're my best friend too, Bob."

"I like you as much as Star Wars."

"Thanks Bob. You always tell funny jokes."

"I wouldn't ever want to hurt your feelings, Brandon."

"Bob, you should lean back in your booster seat because remember? I'm not a hugger."

"Oh yeah. Sorry, Brandon."

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Guy Stuff

"So, Mom? The girls at school all watch the Barbie movies and they talk about them all the time."

"Oh yeah?"

"And I don't like it."


"Barbie is a girl show. I don't want to talk about girl shows."

"Girl shows can be fun too."

"Well I don't like them. I like Max and Ruby."

"About the sweet bunnies? That's a boy show?"

"Max is a boy bunny. Guys are into that."

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It's Still New

"Good Morning, Mama."

"Hi, Bob."



"Mom? Are you awake?"

"I am now, yes."

"Mom? Is it still year two-thousand and eleven?"

"It is."



"Two-thousand and eleven is a lot."

Monday, January 3, 2011

Round One

You may recall The Star Wars Super Hut? We came home today to find that apparently our dog, Daisy, had gotten into some type of physical altercation with the previously-cube-shaped Super Hut. It also seems apparent that Daisy won this round.

Stay tuned.


Three days before Christmas the street in front of our house flooded. You can read more details about that sweet event here. Once the lake evaporated, we were left with 20 leaky sandbags and a damp station wagon interior.

When I opened the door to my car today, I was slapped with a wall of smell reminiscent of rotting fruit nestled in a pot of burning hair. I brought a strong cinnamon scented (unlit) votive candle into the car to temper the stench and the resulting aroma was a more festive, freshly baked aroma of dead elf.

I attempted to drive with the windows open to air it out but then it began raining again and adding moisture to the problem seemed like a bad idea. After awhile, I realized I could no longer smell the offensive scent. I wondered if the smell was really gone or if I had just become used to the odor or worse yet, the smell had permeated my clothing, my skin, my very soul.

At a stoplight on Olympic Boulevard, I rolled down the window again and stuck my head out into the damp night and took several deep breaths. I held my breath and quickly pulled my head back into the car and rolled up the window. I exhaled slowly and then began vigorously sniffing around the area of the front seat. I couldn't tell the fresh from the foul. My eyes drifted to the car idling on my left. The police officer in the passenger seat stared at me perhaps a beat too long and then nodded once. I smiled and then tried to look casual.

Real casual.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Smacksy Sunday Links

Maybe you don't like the idea of New Year's Resolutions? Perhaps you might want to pick a few of these 43 Ways to Simplify Your Life instead.

I am loving the blog Tomboy Style. I think it's more about
attitude than clothing.

My friend Ilene is doing this. Could you? I did it for a year once but it was for financial reasons...