The Family (Dog) Bed
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
"Mom? Those kids over there said they don't like me."
"How is that for you?"
"I guess I'm disappointed."
"But you know what? They don't even know me, I mean for real know me."
"Their loss, right?"
"Mom? It really is."
So you guys? The show is this weekend. Have I mentioned lately just how amazing Listen To Your Mother Los Angeles is going to be? Because it is. The writers and their stories are funny and moving and compelling and inspiring and other great adjectives that end in "ing." If you are in Southern California, I hope you will join us on Sunday at 3:00pm. Buy tickets here.
If you're in Austin, Madison, Spokane or Northwest Indiana there are other phenomenal Listen To Your Mother shows coming up soon. Get on it. Bring your mom.
Labels: Another Day Another Playdate
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
"Hey, Bob? We're going to Daddy's office to meet him for lunch."
"Wow! I don't wanna do that!"
"Well, what are we doing there? Will other people be there? Will there be kids there? Is it a fundraiser?"
"What? No, it's lunch. With Daddy. At his office."
"Okay. He'll be excited to see us in the middle of the daylight during the week."
"... a fundraiser?"
Labels: didn't see that one coming
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
"It feels weird to be in the car without a shirt, Mom."
"It was wet from swim class so I thought we could wait and put on a dry shirt at home."
"It's a little funny."
"It's a little hilarious, Mom, because now everyone can see my abs... I love my abs."
Monday, April 25, 2011
"Mom? That was a super best Easter. How did the Easter Bunny know I wanted a Mandalorian Battle Pack?"
"Sounds like he knows you pretty well."
"Yeah and he knew I really liked candy too. How'd he know that one?"
"That's pretty specific information. Sounds like he did his homework."
"And Mom? My underpants are on backwards and they are going inside my bottom cheeks."
"That sounds uncomfortable."
"Yeah. It very is."
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
"All right, Bud. Let's hop in the car."
"Okay, Garbage Can."
"Really? I don't like that nickname, Bob. Try that again."
"I guess that's a little better."
"Okay, beautiful-est and gorgeous-est, Mama."
"Get in the car, Son."
Labels: High Five
Monday, April 18, 2011
"Mom? Is it always cold in the North Pole?"
"I think so, yeah."
"So Santa is always freezing?"
"He has that red suit so I think he does okay."
"What about the Easter Bunny? Where does he live?"
"Where do you think he lives, Bob?"
"I'm pretty sure he lives in a rainbow."
"That sounds right."
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
"Dad? On the way to the park I found a penny in the street."
"Well, almost. Mom found it and she said I could keep it. I'm going to put it in my bank."
"Is it a lucky penny?"
"Of course it is, Dad, of course. Why would you even ask me that?"
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Every morning between 3:30 and 4:00, Violet pads into our bedroom. She sits down near Jeff’s side of the bed and the meowing begins. She reserves her special car-alarm-sounding meow for this time in the morning. She doesn’t do this when Jeff’s out of town. This is meant just for him.
Jeff heaves out of bed and gets her a bowl of water. The howling continues. He opens a new can of cat food and places it in a dish on the counter. Still with the howling. He turns the faucet on for a light drip for her to drink from. The howling stops for a minute or so and then starts again. He picks her up and carries her to the couch while she mashes her head into his neck, her version of a hug. Jeff returns to bed and goes back to sleep.
I finally wake up, long after Jeff has gone to work. I pick up Violet and smell her head, the tiny fur head that smells just like Jeff’s neck.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
"Mom? Did you see that guy that works at the Goodwill only has one arm?"
"I think he walked on a laser and then his arm came off."
"I think he may have been born without an arm."
"You can do that?"
"You know how all people are different? Sometimes we're born with body parts that are different."
"But Mom, how does he pick things up without an arm?"
"What do you think he does? Can you imagine it?"
"I guess he could use his other arm or maybe his mouth?"
"He might. People do some miraculous things when given a challenge."
"He's sort of amazing. Next time we go there can I tell him he's amazing?"
Monday, April 11, 2011
"Mom? How come you let me stay in pajamas all day?"
"You're still getting over your cold."
"But I had to wear real clothes yesterday."
"Today was Sunday and you weren't going anywhere and I wanted you to rest up for school tomorrow."
"Mom? How come you wore pajamas all day too? You're not sick and you don't have school."
"You ready for dinner?"
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
"... and God bless Grandma Sylvia and Nat. We're grateful for this day we all got to spend together. Bob? What are you grateful for today?"
"I'm grateful for hummus and my Count Dooku key-chain, and that the wind stays outside the house and not inside, and that we don't all have colds at the same time so that Daddy is well and can make us soup."
Labels: A Way With Words
Thursday, April 7, 2011
"Mom? I love you."
"I love you too, Pooch."
"No, I mean I really, really love you."
"I really, really love you too, Bob."
"No, I mean I super love you for real even when I get mad and say I don't love you."
"When do you say you don't love me?"
"I love you so much, Mom."
Guys! Tickets are now on sale for the Los Angeles production of Listen to Your Mother.
I would love to see you there. I would.
Labels: say what
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
"How long until we're at Legoland, Dad? I can't see it from here."
"We're about 15 minutes away."
"But we're close right, Mom?"
"We're getting closer."
"Okay because when we get there and I see Legoland I am going to freak out. I mean it, guys. I am going to really freak out. Freak out."
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
"Bob? Will you help me break up the dirt before we put the seeds in?"
"It looks real dirty."
"It is real dirty, Babe. It's dirt."
"But you wanted this garden. Part of gardening is getting your hands dirty. Do you want garden gloves?"
"No Mom, you can do it. I'll be the boss of the garden. I'll do supervising."
Labels: my boss
Monday, April 4, 2011
"Mom? Is tomorrow the day we're going to Lego Land?"
"No. We're going on Thursday."
"Is today Thursday?"
"No, today is Monday."
"Is tomorrow Thursday?"
"No, tomorrow is Tuesday."
"So are we going the day after tomorrow?"
"No, the day after tomorrow is Wednesday and we're going on Thursday."
"I think we should just go to Lego Land today."
*This post is not endorsed.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
I am obsessed with this tumbler site. The themes of brown and blue and dogs and charcuterie and scarves and streets and old tools and wood floors and just all of it. Love.
Let's have breakfast at one of these tables.
And just a little cat yoga.
Friday, April 1, 2011
"Mom? Did you get Luis a birthday present?"
"His party is tomorrow."
"Did you get him a Star Wars thing? Is it the Mandalorian Battlepack? Is it the Imperial V-Wing Starfighter? Is it the Battle of Endor? Is it the Snow Trooper Battlepack? Did you get an action figure? Is it a Star Wars Sticker book? Is it the mini-figure alarm clock? Is it an Attack Shuttle? Is it the Republic Swamp Speeder? Is it? Is it that? Do you even know what you got? Mom? Mom!"
Labels: the force