Monday, April 30, 2012


"Ow! Mom! My brain hurts!"

"What part of your brain?"

"The top and then all around and the bottom."

"Sounds like you have a headache."

"It's not my head, it's my brain."

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Smacksy Sunday Links

This is a beautiful story.

This is a lovely commercial. (no affiliate ties)

This is a wonderful boy.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Smacksy Saturday Photo (and a joke)

"Knock knock, Mom."

"Who's there, Bob?"

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrupting cow w--"


Friday, April 27, 2012

Tiny King

"Watch, Mom! Guess who I am when I tap my tummy over and over like this."

"Um... Santa?"

"No. Watch! I'm Tar-ZAN!"

"Tarzan hits his chest, not his tummy."

"Like this? Now I'm Tar-ZAN! King of the Monkey Guys!"

Thursday, April 26, 2012

That Math

"Mom? Who's older? You or Daisy?"

"I'm older than Daisy. She's only six."

"No, I mean if you count her in dog years."

"I'm still older."


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I'm Not Sure Either

"Mom? Will you step outside the kitchen?"

"What's going on?"

"I need a privacy for this fruit war."

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


"Mom? Why can't we get goldfish?"

"I get those other crackers instead because I think they're better for you."

"No, I mean like the little fish that swim in a bowl."

"Oh, because sometimes cats eat goldfish and I wouldn't want Vi to eat them."

"But when I'm older I can eat them?"

"Those kind of goldfish are pets and we don't eat pets."

"No, I mean the kind in the box."

Monday, April 23, 2012


"Rosenberg residence. Hello? Who is calling who is calling who is calling who is calling who is calling hello who is calling who is calling who is calling who is calling who is calling - - -?!"

"Bob! Bob! Stop! It's me, Mama!"

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

"We're going to need to work on this."

Friday, April 20, 2012

Fencing: Class 2

Bob's fencing coach addressed the class.

"Line up and follow my directions. First, put on your face masks. Once you have secured your face masks, only then are you allowed to pick up your eppe. Now follow my directions. Salute. Advance. Retreat. Advance. Retreat. Advance. Advance. Advance. Retreat. Advance. Retreat. Halt. Very good. Any questions? Yes, Bob?"

Bob raised his face mask just enough for his mouth to be visible and said, "It's hot under here."

Thursday, April 19, 2012

In the Cards

"I got us a new pack of flashcards, Bob."

"Do they really flash?"


"Like lightning."


"Why do they do that to me?"

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Don't I Know It

"Mom? I have eleven-hundred and forty-six dollars in my Monopoly money for this game so far."

"That's good counting, Buddy."

"I know. I'm practicing for college. That whole college thing is coming up sooner than you think, Mom."

Monday, April 16, 2012

Squeezing That Guy

"Bob, I'm noticing that now that you've lost your two front teeth you've got a little bit of a lisp."

"I haven't notithed that, Mom, but I thtill love you."

"I love you too."

"Mom? Lean in, I have a thecret."

"What's your secret?"

"I love you more than thanta."

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Smacksy Sunday Links

Into the belly of the whale.

If you didn't get to see this floating around the internet this week, you really must.

I love tiny house stories.

And this is a delightful bit of ennui.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, April 13, 2012

The (Desperate) Hunt

"I'll be there in just a second, Bob. I really need to make a quick cup of coffee... Hey, where are all my coffee K-cups?"

"I hid them all over the house! Like an Easter egg hunt!"

"Oh... fun."

Thursday, April 12, 2012

2nd House Call

"Holy cow, Mom! Feel my tooth!"

"Yeah. That's gonna fall out any time now."

"Since I already lost a tooth this week and the Tooth Fairy brought me a dollar, do you think she might bring me more for special if I lose another one in this week?'

"How much more?"

"Like maybe five dollars? Do you think she might?"

"Yes. I think she might."

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

My First Time at Disneyland by Bob Rosenberg

"Today I went to the Disneyland with Mom and Dad for eight hours and fifteen minutes. There were some escalators and a tram bus. Then I had a snack but it was like the kind I would have at home because it had hummus. Anyway, we went on some giant cups that spin around and mom got barfy and had to go sit down. There was lots of waiting in lots of lines. There were some ships and a Pirates of the Caribbean with the real Jack Sparrow and that was awesome but the best part was a boat ride through these little tiny towns and houses and it had all these features and then I had an ice cream sandwich in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head if his head was as big as my head. Epic."

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

First En Garde

"For this first épée fencing class, the beginners won't be using the equipment, we will be learning the basic footwork. We'll salute and advance and retreat. Any questions? Yes, Bob?"

"When do I get a sword?"

Monday, April 9, 2012


"Dad? What's the salt water for at Passover? It tastes bad."

"The salt water symbolizes the salty tears that the Jews shed when they were slaves in Egypt."

"Tears are salty?"


"So, is the ocean made of tears?"

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Friday, April 6, 2012


"... and before we say Amen, who do you want to mention, Bob?"

"God bless Daddy and Mama and me and Daisy and Violet and all of our friends and relatives and the country Syria."


"I heard they're having a hard time there... Amen."

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Walking the Beat

"What's happening, Bob?"

"I'm patrolling, Dad."

"What are you patrolling, Buddy?'

"Everything. I'm a security guard so I have to watch out for everything and protect all of you guys."

"Awesome. What's the best part of being a security guard?"

"Working from home."

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Bigger and Better

"Hey, Mom? Can you open the garage door, please?"

"What's going on?"

"I'm building a Man Fortress in there. It's a fortress, for men like me and dad - and one lady - you."

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Spring Break: Day 1 by Bob Rosenberg

1. Stayed in pajamas all day until I went to the park before dinner.
2. Went to the park before dinner.
3. Wore pajamas to the drive-thru at In N Out with MeeMee.
4. Had In N Out with MeeMee.
5. Had on pajamas to play Monopoly with Mom.
6. Played Monopoly with Mom.
7. Put on sweatpants and went to the store with Dad.
8. Went to the store with Dad.
9. Put on pajamas and made a pizza with Dad.
10. PIZZA!

Monday, April 2, 2012

Wise Guy

"Hey, Bob? Where did Dad go?"

"He's outside in front."

"What's he doing?"

"I don't know, Mom. I'm not up his brain."

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Smacksy Sunday Links

This guy hitchhiked across the U.S.

I wish we could all get along like these guys.

And Mr. Rosenberg would like these guys to move in with us.

Happy Sunday.