Thursday, October 31, 2013

Trick or Treat

In 1969, when I was in kindergarten, my next door neighbor Alex and I dressed as Peter Pan and Tinkerbell for Halloween. I insisted on wearing a blond wig for authenticity and a white under shirt to stay warm while trick-or-treating. The result: Pure magic.

Happy Halloween.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Halloween Itinerary

"Okay, Mom. Here's the plan for Halloween. First we go to the spooky maze at Brandon's backyard. Then after that we go around the corner to Aidan's for the pizza thing, then we go to Clementine's for the snacks party, then we go to Felix's street for the taco truck. In between all those places we'll do trick or treats."

"That's quite a plan."

"Yeah but what are we going to have for dinner that night?"

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Whatever You Say

"Bob, did you know Desmond saw Star Wars on Saturday?"

"Star Wars is awesome!"

"No it isn't."

"Yeah Felix, I said that on mistake."

Monday, October 28, 2013

The View From Here

Recently, Mr. Rosenberg was wondering aloud what it might take for him to become a Rabbi. He thought that first he needed to better grasp his world-view before he could counsel others. It made me question my own world view or as I like to think of it, my Miss America platform. 

I believe in the power of family and the many ways that they are grown and packaged. I also believe in the power of building a family of friends.

I believe in the power of prayer, good vibes, and mojo as healing balms. I also believe in the terrible power of disease, decay, and physical disrepair that cannot be helped though we pray with all our might. I believe we can push for our will in a situation but God’s will is what’s going to happen anyway.

I believe in the power of a good dermatologist, a good psychiatrist, and rice pudding with raisins.

I believe in the power of a loving God. I do not believe that God is like Santa, rewarding the virtuous and punishing those on the naughty list. I know that sometimes terrible things happen to stellar people and that sometimes enormous good happens to those who seem to least deserve it. I don’t pretend to understand why this is true. God knows. I believe that too.

I believe in the power of drugs and alcohol as an option to save people from themselves for a time, until they don’t. I believe in the powerful grace of recovery from those, and other addictions, that can be found in following the map charted by brave souls who have passed that way before.

I believe in the power of humor to get us through even the most excrutiating of times and that Tina Fey and Will Farrell and Patton Oswalt are seraphim zipped into people suits.

I believe in the power of animals. I believe that they, like all of us, are divine creatures and should be treated as such. I believe that the longer I think like this, the closer I am to becoming a vegetarian. 

I believe in the power of forgiveness especially when I am caught in the clenched fist of not forgiving. 

I believe in the power of compliments, giving them and also learning to receive them. I believe that compliments are a spiritual high five.

I believe in the power of time. I believe that time is relative and that someone we know for an hour can change our lives as much as someone we know for a decade. I do not believe that time heals all wounds but it will at least scab them over if you allow it.

I believe in the power of help: Accepting it and also giving it without keeping a scorecard of who did what when for how long. I believe that kindness and attention and the offering of help to others can be our simple ministry to the world.

I believe in the power of music and poetry as communication and communion and that reading Rumi or listening to Nina Simone is way God has of letting us peek behind the spiritual curtain.

I believe in the power of mystery to shape our days and keep us interested to see what’s next. We can have a routine and believe we know what to expect but it rarely goes the way and that is a wonder and a blessing.

I believe in the power of teachers and that each person, each situation we encounter will teach us something. I believe that each day holds one sacred lesson for us and if we listen closely, we will hear God’s voice in some most unlikely places.

I believe in the power of the past and the importance of learning to look back but not stare. I believe in the power of this moment. And this one.

I believe in the power of each of us to bring our unique story and brand of special sauce to this life and our ability to use that power for good instead of evil. I believe you are doing the best you know how. I believe today is a good day.  

Friday, October 25, 2013

On the Road

"Mom, the field trip was just okay."

"Really? I thought it was fun. What was your favorite part, the post office or the library?"

"The best part was going with my friends and walking there with my friends and eating lunch with my friends and walking back with my friends."

"Don't you do that everyday?"

"Yeah. The days are good."

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Nature Guys

"Mom, today me and Desmond and Felix got to see what the inside of an acorn looks like."

"Yeah? What do they look like?

"Kind of yellow-ish and brown and harder than a gummy."

"How did you guys get them open?"

"We chewed on them."


"You asked."

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

La Comida

"Bob, what kind of burrito do you want?"


"Bean and cheese?"

"No, just cheese."

"With rice?"

"Just a melted cheese burrito."

"A melted cheese burrito is just a quesadilla."

"Okay, I'll have one of those too."

Tuesday, October 22, 2013


"Felix? Do you have a home security system?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Our main one is called T-E-D-D-Y."


"Yeah, burglars don't like dealing with dogs."

"I bet I could train my guinea pigs to scare away burglars too, Bob."

"I think you might need a werewolf."

Monday, October 21, 2013


"Hey, Mom! We're home!"

"Hi guys. How was the park?"


"Sounds good."

"Yeah, we all brought our own swords so we didn't have to share. It was a perfect day."

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Smacksy Sunday Links

Love this list: A map of the most famous book set in every state. 

If you're a long time reader, you'll know that I am somewhat preoccupied with emergency preparedness. This is a great DYI: How to put together a 72 hour emergency kit.

And a compilation of cats stealing dog beds.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, October 18, 2013


"Did you guys have the disaster drill today too?"

"Yeah, Desmond. Everybody had it, right? You had it didn't you Bob?"

"I did the get under your desk thing. I knew it wasn't real though."

"If it was a real earthquake we would have felt it. Right, Felix?"

"The roof would have caved in or something."

"That's why you hold your hands over the back of your neck when you're under your desk, Desmond."

"I did that. If you don't do that your head could pop right off."

Thursday, October 17, 2013

When did that become a thing?

"Bob, do you want some grapes?"

"No, thanks, Mom."

"Are you sure? I'm having some."

"No you're not, Mom. We're out of grapes."


"Yeah, Mom. Sad trombone."

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


"Mom do you know that song that goes, 'Mmmm hmm mmmm hmm hmmm hmmmmm mmm?'"


"And then it's 'Mmmm mmmm hmm mmm hmmm mmmm mmm hhmmmm mm?'"

"I can't really..."

"Mom, come on! 'Hmmm! MMMmmmm! Hmmm! Mmmm Mmmm!'"

"Sorry, Bob."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Coldplay."

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

First Star

"Look, Mom! The first star of the night! I'm making a wish."

"Before you make your wish you're supposed to say, 'Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.'"

"No. I don't think I need to that."

"All right. take your chances..."

"How did that go again?"

Monday, October 14, 2013

There Goes the Neighborhood

A few years back, my mom gave us a wonderful table-top haunted house. Bob has a great time setting it up every year, arranging the little jack-o-lanterns and tombstones. When we turn the switch, the lights in the window flicker and a witches cackling can be heard along with creaking and ghost-y noises. Traditionally, we set the house on the buffet in our dining room. The difference this year is that the house has to share that real estate with Bob's black beta fish, Max.

On Friday we put up the house in its usual spot and moved the fish bowl over a foot or so. As we placed the skeleton in the hammock, Bob and I noticed that Max had moved over to the side of the bowl closest to the house and was watching. We stood back to see if he was just coming over to see us and we realized that Max was actually watching the haunted house. He stared, transfixed for the rest of the afternoon. We couldn't even get his attention by offering him food. He was just that into it.

We shared possible explanations for Max's preoccupation. Perhaps he was waiting for someone to come out. Maybe the house looks like some underwater castle he had in his tank at the pet store. Bob suggested that maybe Max thought he was on an episode of House Hunters International. I'll admit, I've never given Max that much thought or attention. Now that he may have some inner life we can only speculate about, I think Max is pretty cool.

We're already planning a little Christmas tree for him.

Friday, October 11, 2013


"Mom? The kids at school really don't respect old people."

"What do you mean? Which old people?"

"I mean really old - like the first graders that are already seven."

Thursday, October 10, 2013

The Inspector

"Mom, I've noticed that you're leaving the house a bit messy."

"Am I?"

"Yeah. This room is the thirtieth messiest room I've ever seen."

"Wow. What were the other twenty-nine?"

"I'm not sure but my scale's pretty accurate."

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


"... and then I found diamonds. Mom, you know diamonds are really rare in Minecraft?"

"Are they?"

"Do you know who Herobrine is?"

"I do not. I'm guessing it's another Minecraft guy."

"Yeah... wait..."

"Are you okay, Bob?"

"Oh my gosh, Mom. I think my heart just farted."

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Google Me This

So, yeah. I Googled myself. Everyone does that, right? I think? Maybe? (I really ran out of ways to waste time when I was supposed to be folding laundry.) I'm the only Lisa Page Rosenberg that showed up. The first few things I found were expected: this blog, my twitter page, a list of my old jobs on Internet Movie Database, and of course, a photo of me dressed as Princess Leia.

From there I fell into the sphere of The Other Lisa Rosenbergs. What had started as a quick look at my online profile became a search of other people with my name. There is a world full of Lisa Rosenbergs. As I read about them I envisioned the other Lisas and their lives.

I found:
A women's study professor in Ontario.
A professional piccolo player in Michigan.
A nursing professor in Chicago.
A talk show host in New York.
A former ballerina, now social worker in New Jersey.
An artist in Chicago.
A real estate broker in St. Louis.
An associate chemistry professor in Canada.
An opthalmologist in Chicago.
An ad agency creative director in New York.
An internal medicine geriatrics doctor in Nevada.
An assistant principal in Milwaukee.
A mathematics professor in North Carolina.

And this doesn't quite count but I like it anyway:
Lisa's Paint and Body Shop in Rosenberg Texas.

Who do you meet when you Google you?

Monday, October 7, 2013


"So, Mom? While you were gone, me and Dad played some tennis over at the court at the middle school."

"He taught you how to play today?"

"Yeah, he did some serves."


"And then we did some ballies."

"I think you mean 'volleys.'"

"Come on, Mom. It's ballies, cause we're playing with a ball and everything."

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Smacksy Saturday Photo: The Bagel of Destruction

This is "The Bagel of Destruction." It is made entirely of Play-Doh and has been living in our freezer "getting good" since June.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Oh, Nurse...

"Mom, I don't get it. After Ringo got a shot, he said it felt like a 'relaxing spa.' Mine sort of hurt a lot."

"Do you think he might have been joking?"

"He was for real and serious. Maybe it's because we have different doctors."

Thursday, October 3, 2013

On the Run

"Mom, you know what my new biggest nightmare is?"


"Sydney, from Mrs. Woo's class."

"Why is that?"

"Now she's the one chasing me everywhere and I have to hide from her in the worst place."

"Which is?"

"The boy's bathroom. I guess it's not as bad as the girl's bathroom, but still."

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Phase

"So, Mom? First I was into Elmo, right?"

"Yep, then Teletubbies."

"Then Thomas the Tank Engine?"

"And garbage trucks and then Star Wars."

"I was into Star Wars for a long time. Then dinosaurs and Harry Potter and Ninjago and then back to Star Wars and Lego everything."

"Right and then Angry Birds."

"And now, it's Minecraft. Minecraft and rocks."

"What's next?"

"I think those rocks are going to last a long time, Mom."