Mr. Rosenberg: Alton Brown is messing with me. I know he's one of those snarky, know-it-all, smart ass kind of guys. How am I supposed to follow a recipe if he's doing his joking thing? The recipe says I should heat mirepoix and then 'sweat.' It's not even funny, even if it's accurate.
Me: 'Sweat' is an actual cooking term. When you 'sweat' an onion, you heat it until it starts to release moisture.
Mr. Rosenberg: If you say so. Okay, then what the heck are 'Grains of Paradise?'
Me: Yeah, I don't know about that. I'll Google it... looks like it's a type of peppercorn.
Mr. Rosenberg: Is it common?
Me: I've never heard of it.
Mr. Rosenberg: I knew he was messing with me.
Me and the kids sit around and listen to him berate us. "Stuffing is evil," he said before turkey day. "Don't you even think to open the oven." Miriam was like "DON'T OPEN THE OVEN." I told her it was just guidance and he wasn't Jesus. t don't know how or why we tolerate his abuse. Except that his advice is usually right and his incessant judgment reminds me of my mother, which is endearing and heartwarming somehow, like his tough cooking love is building us into better people.
ReplyDeleteAh hahaha! Perfect.
DeleteI trust AB.
ReplyDeleteHe has yet to steer me wrong.
He knows what he's doing. And what we should be doing too.
DeleteIf you find a source of grains of paradise, please let me know! My other favorite part of the world is the "Grain Coast" of West Africa, where those used to be a major commodity. (https://www.britannica.com/place/Grain-Coast). But despite years there, I've never actually had them. MOre MSG these days.
ReplyDeleteI've heard they have it at Whole Foods!
DeleteHaven't ever seen them there when I've looked, but maybe someday my Grains will come!
Deleteis it soup?
ReplyDelete