Showing posts with label didn't see that one coming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label didn't see that one coming. Show all posts

Thursday, October 17, 2013

When did that become a thing?


"Bob, do you want some grapes?"

"No, thanks, Mom."

"Are you sure? I'm having some."

"No you're not, Mom. We're out of grapes."

"Oh."

"Yeah, Mom. Sad trombone."


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Nice Try

 
"Mom, did you know that even though these broccolis look like little trees, they aren't really little trees?"

"No?'

"No, they're actually flowers."

"I believe you're right."

 "I am right and flowers are nice nature and I don't want to destroy nature by eating it."

Friday, December 9, 2011

The Mysterious


"Mom? Who puts the notes inside my Advent calendar every night?"

"Hmm. Who do you think does it?"

"A flying cat with one human hand who's kind of an elf and is one of Santa's pets."

"Okay then."

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Out to Lunch


"Hey, Bob? We're going to Daddy's office to meet him for lunch."

"Wow! I don't wanna do that!"

"Why not?"

"Well, what are we doing there? Will other people be there? Will there be kids there? Is it a fundraiser?"

"What? No, it's lunch. With Daddy. At his office."

"Okay. He'll be excited to see us in the middle of the daylight during the week."

"... a fundraiser?"

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Loyalties


"Mom? Why isn't Miss Marguerita teaching my swimming class this time?"

"She's teaching a different class for this series. You have a new teacher now."

"Miss Laura?"

"Yeah. She seems nice."

"Miss Laura means nothing to me, Mom."

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Sticks and Stones

photo from here

"Bob? Get in the car, please. We're going to be late."

"Just a minute."

"Bob? I need you in your seat now, please."

"Mom!"

"Bob. Now."

"Mom? You're being a baby diaper."

"Them's fightin' words, Rosenberg."

Monday, July 19, 2010

Lunchtime


"Bob? Do you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or turkey and cheese?"

"I want a turkey and cheese and mayonnaise and bread sandwich. It's the best kind of sandwich. It's really, really good."

"Please?"

"Please."

"Okay."

"And Mom? You know what else is good?"

"What's that?"

"Bones are good."

"For lunch?"

"No. Bones are good for holding your body together and making it so you can have a face and do things."

"That's true."

"Mom? It's really, really true."

Monday, June 28, 2010

Plumbing and Things


"Mama, can you lift up the top so I can see in there again?"

"Sure."

"What does that stopper do?"

"It keeps the water from going out, I think."

"And what about that thing over there?"

"I don't know what it's called but the water comes out of there and then when the tank fills up it stops."

"One more thing."

"Sure."

"How does God make the wind?"

"I adore you."

Thursday, May 27, 2010

More Big Questions

“Mama?”

“Bob?”

“I want an ice cream sandwich.”

“Try that again.”

“May I have an ice cream sandwich please, beautiful Mama?”

“You may but after lunch.”

“Mom.”

“Bob.”

“What color is God’s cape?”

“God has a cape?”

“Yes. You know, so that he can fly all of the dead bugs up to heaven.”

“And he needs a cape?”

“He doesn’t have wings or anything so yeah, he needs a cape.”

“Like a superhero?”

“Yes. Except he’s God. He holds the dead bugs all in his hands. He takes them to bug heaven.”

“Sounds like you have this figured out.”

“Yes. Except the cape color.”