About Hope for the New Year

You might already be familiar with the poem, Desiderata. (Italian for "desired.") I adore this Max Ehrmann piece and carried a laminated copy of it in my wallet for years until it finally fell apart. Desiderata is about hope and the real world. New Year's Eve seems like the right time to read it again. Love to you all in 2017.


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, 1927

The Future is Now

Me one year ago in my pajamas.

A year ago I participated in a writing exercise called Future Me. I wrote a letter to my future self and uploaded a photo of me from that day. Yesterday, I received the letter from me from a year ago. As I read though my ideas about what I thought I would be looking back on, at first I felt let down. Had I accomplished everything I had set out to? Nope. Is that okay with me? I think it is.

When I read through the paragraphs again, I realized that save for a few of short-term goals (that are turning into longer term goals), what I was really reading was a love letter to my life. The people, places and projects that were important to me a year ago are still important to me now, if not more so. I have consistency but still have room for new adventures and experiences.

That year-ago future has arrived today. I'll take it.

Halt, Who Goes There?

In recovery, we often talk about a concept called HALT. It's an acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. The idea being that to stay clear of emotional danger or bad choices, you shouldn't let yourself get too hungry, too angry, too lonely, or too tired. Whenever you're feeling freaked out, or down, check yourself for these issues and then you'll know what to remedy to bring yourself back into balance. This seems like an idea that could help all you non-alcoholic/addict people out there too.

Hungry? You've had lots of practice solving this problem. Have a banana or break into that old, flattened out Lara bar you keep in your bag for emergencies just like this.

Angry? Anger isn't bad as a feeling it's only bad as an action. Do some weird jumping jacks in your cubicle or write out your feelings in long-hand, pen to paper.

Lonely? Call three people and ask how they're doing. Then listen to how they're doing.

Tired? Up your sleep game. If you're having a hard time falling asleep, Bob recommends this: "So you just blink your eyes super fast, as fast as you can while you count to 100. It makes your eyes super tired and they want to close and then you just fall asleep." I haven't tried this myself yet but the kid swears by it. Even a little disco nap would help a little.

If you find yourself wanting to flip off that guy in the Toyota Solara that cut you off in the fast lane or you're about to buy those suede boots you really can't afford because you're anxious - HALT it up.

Yes, I'm being sort of bossy but it's only because I love you guys.

Hold On

The end of the year has been hard on most of us. We're losing friends and plenty of famous folks who feel like our friends. The holidays had bright spots and other spots that were less bright. Joy can be tough to come by and when we finally get it, can feel a bit like clutching sand. I have done an excellent job of compartmentalizing things in order to keep on keeping on and now I feel I am dangerously close to running out of compartments.

For my birthday my mom got me a fuzzy throw blanket that lives on our couch. Bob and I sit under it watching TV. Jeff uses it scrunched up as a lap desk for his computer. Teddy may be romantically involved with it. The day after Christmas, I did the best thing I could think of. I bought another one. More warmth. More fuzziness. A hug disguised as a blanket.

I recommend this purchase.

Winter Night

Winter nights in Southern California mean batting practice. And it's grand.

Another Hanukkah Miracle

Saturday night was the first night of Hanukkah. Our menorah fell apart last year and I forgot to buy a new one until Friday and it won't be here until Tuesday. Jeff and Bob got creative and made a menorah out of LEGO. They used Play Doh to hold the candles in place. (A genius idea from Aunt Jen.) Worked perfectly.

It might also be the only menorah that can double as a Ninjago Rock Roader.™

Stay tuned for a dreidel made out of a radish.

Happy Hanukkah.

Smacksy Sunday Links

My Christmas gift from Bob.

One simple phrase that will change your thoughts.

Brilliant techniques that will calm stressed kids. (Or stressed anyone, really.)

The most historic restaurants in Paris.

Tiny underground rooms hidden in manholes.

And a live reindeer cam.

Happy Christmas, Hanukkah, Sunday.