Reaction

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"Mom? I'm allergic to orange."

"The whole color?"

"Yeah. Not oranges or orange juice though, just orange."

"What about goldfish crackers? Orange popsicles?"

"No, those are good."

"Then why do you think you're allergic to orange?"

"I got all sneeze-y by those carrots. And Mom? They're orange."

A Tiny Crazy

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"So, Bob? You're sure don't know anything about this?"

"Nope. I really haven't been taking your toothbrush out of the drawer and squeezing toothpaste on it and leaving it on the sink. Over and over. Everyday. At all."

"Really?"

"Okay, I did it. Are you mad?"

"No, I just thought I was losing my mind."

"Don't worry. We could look for it."

1,000

"Dad? What time is it?"

"It's almost time for bed."

"I'm going to need to stay up late tonight."

"Why is that?"

"Yeah, I have thousands of energy left for this day."

More Rules

"Bob? While you guys are playing in your room, the rules are no destroying toys and no dismantling the furniture this time."

"Oh."

"You got it?"

"No destroying and no dismantling."

"That's right."

"Okay, but can we... make?"

The View

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"Mom? Is that downtown Los Angeles out the window?"

"Yep."

"I can sort of see the Taj Mahal from here."

"That would be pretty hard to do, pal. The Taj Mahal is in India."

"But, Mom? I'm a Jedi, remember?"

Smacksy Sunday Links

She is wonderful.

If you're a Gleek, you will love this.

And Candy Somoza reading her beautiful essay A Mother's Apprentice from Listen To Your Mother LA.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Retro Bob and Mr. Rosenberg

Naps.

He's Got Me There

"What kind of cookie do you want, Bob?"

"I pick that kind. I've never had it before."

"That's chocolate chip. You've had a chocolate chip cookie before."

"I haven't had that chocolate chip cookie before."

Okie Doke

"Dad? Is that picture on the plant pottery from olden times?"

"Possibly. When do you think 'olden times' were?'

"You know, like 1999 or something?"

Seven Years and Counting

I met Mr. Rosenberg seven years ago today. I am commemorating that big ol' deal here by re-posting the story of that meeting, first posted here two years ago. I have learned that seven years can fly by when you're busy meeting someone, falling in love, eloping, having a baby, and being happy. The happy especially, it moves so fast.

Five years ago today, I put on my first date uniform (jeans/black high heeled sandals/black knit empire waist top), flat ironed my hair, and emailed my date itinerary to my friend Karen to make it easier for the FBI to track my whereabouts just in case this was the internet date that finally went wrong. This was to be my 53rd first date of the summer. I had a system. The system involved a spreadsheet.

I had been on some second and third and even fourth dates, but it almost always only took one date to “know." Know that his divorce is “sort of almost” final (#22). Know that he was gay as a box of birds (#15). Know that he had insisted on meeting for dinner at an expensive restaurant, then when the bill came tallied up my half – the only guy ever to not pick up the bill (#36). Know that I had dated his brother - awkward (#25). Know that he had looked at my resume on Internet Movie Data Base and oh-my-God was he actually pitching an animated sit-com to me over Korean barbecue? (#41). Yes he was.

When describing the guys to Karen, I used their identifying traits to label them. (Stalker Creep. Dude Looks Like a Lady. Mom Jeans Guy.) Like an FNG in Vietnam, better not to learn their names. Due to a story he had shared with me via email, #53 was identified as Naked Drummer. I tried to reserve judgment.

For some reason, I broke many of my first date safety rules with Naked Drummer. I gave him my address. I let him pick me up. When he came to get me, I let him into my apartment. We went to dinner at Noshi Sushi. None of that is prudent behavior (including Noshi) and I do not recommend any of it.

Naked Drummer and I talked until the restaurant closed around us. When the bill came, Naked Drummer totaled my half with tax and tip. Again, I knew.
I knew he was the best guy ever.

Reader, I married him.

Autumn Wear

"So, Mom? You know how you can tell it's fall?"

"Your fall leaves hat?"

"Yeah! How did you know?"

September

"I like your calendar, Bob."

"Thanks. You see the pattern?"

"Yeah. Red and green?"

"No. It's red and green and red and green and red and green and red and green and red and green and red and green and red and green and red and green and red and green and red and red and green and red and green and red and green and red and green and red and green and red."

Smacksy Sunday Links

I adore this couple.

Have you seen Anne Flournoy's video series The Louise Log? Fabulous. This episode is a favorite.

And from Listen To Your Mother LA, Gillian Bellinger's reads her essay 1,2,3 Rub.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Retro Bob

Tiny Bunny

Edits

"Mom? While we're watching Star Wars Revenge of the Sith will you fast forward through the scary parts again?"

"Of course."

"And also fast forward through the pretty parts?"

"Which are those?"

"Anything with Padme and hugging."

Silly vs. Scary

"Look what I made, Mom."

"Wow. That's scary."

"It's not scary, it's silly."

"Okay, that's very silly."

"Mom? You know what's really good?

"What?"

"Cantaloupe with ketchup."

And Cakes and Candles

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"Happy Birthday, Mom! For your birthday I am going to hug you sixty times!"

"Thanks, Bob! Why sixty?"

"One for all of your birthdays."

"Bob? How old do you think I am?"

"I don't know."

"I'll take all sixty hugs now please."

Bee Giant

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"Mom! Look at this giant bee!"

"I don't think that's a bee. It looks like a wasp."

"Like a really big bee?"

"Wasps are different than bees."

"Because they are extra huge bees?"

"Wasps aren't bees."

"It's a bee-daddy."

Points

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"So, Mom? This girl Emmy in my class smacked me in the back when we were in line today. She did it on purpose."

"Wow. What happened next?"

"I told her to please not smack me."

"That's good."

"But she did it again anyway so I told her I was taking two points away from her."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know but she stopped smacking."

Smacksy Sunday Links

Thanks to my dear friend Jerry for sending me this link to beautiful new Storycorps animated true stories of 9/11.

And David Bowie's haunting and lovely version of America.

Love to you all this and every Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Retro Bob

Napping in the fancy shirt.

Finders Keepers and Everything

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"Dad! Guess what? I found a penny today - on the street!"

"Wow! What did you do with it?"

"I kept it."

"You didn't put it in your mouth did you?"

"No. This time I put it in my piggy bank, actually."

First Day: The Review

"How was the first day of school?"

"It was great! I love school!"

"That's fantastic, Bob! What was the best part?"

"The best was snack-time and the snack I brought from home."

Good Question

"So, Bob? Did you eat lunch at Brandon's house?"

"We had macaroni and cheese and these chicken things."

"I bet you liked that."

"Yeah... Mom? Is yellow good for you?"

AM/PM

"So, Bob? Because we have to start getting up so early for school, we're going to have to go to bed a little earlier."

"I'm not going to be able to do that, Mom."

"Why not?"

"I'm a night-guy."

What happens when I leave the room?

This. This happens.

Happy Labor Day.

Smacksy Sunday Links

Earlier this week I was entranced by Roddy McDowell's never-seen-before, silent home movies from 1965. I mean it, entranced.

The weather is starting to cool off just a little and I'm in the mood for this.

And the haunting, Thieves in the Night read by Kristi Walter at Listen To Your Mother LA.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Retro Bob

Retro Bed-Head Bob

Fast Asleep

"Mom? What if I fell asleep and fell into my dreams and then I couldn't get back out? Like I fell so far that I couldn't climb back out of there and just stayed in the dreaming part?"

"I'd have to climb down in there and get you out and bring you home."

"You could do that?"

"Yes."

He's Only Five

"Hey, Mom? Remember when I used to love The Beatles?"

"You don't love them anymore?"

"Now I like really loud rock and roll."

"You can turn up the volume on The Beatles and make it louder."

"No, now I like the rock and roll that sounds loud like a drill, like a super, big drill."