Deodorized

"Buddy? I think you've been using my deodorant."

"No, I don't think so."

"Yeah, this one. See?"

"Yeah, that's mine, Babe."

"No, I bought it online. It's a fancy organic something-something."

"I got mine online too."

"Um... you never buy anything.  You don't even buy your own socks or underwear."

"I know but I saw an ad for it. It doesn't have aluminum in it so you ---"

" --- don't get Alzheimers. I know. That's why I bought it."

"No, I bought it."

"Have we been sharing a deodorant? I don't know why, but that kind of skeeves me out."

"I'm going to be late for work. I gotta get out of here."

"You don't want to talk more about stealing my deodorant?

"My deodorant."