Potty Training Day 1: A One Act

Bob must be potty-trained in order to start pre-school in September. He has no interest in the potty and as the pages rip from the calendar, I worry. Online, I find an e-book titled, How to Potty Train Your Child in 3 Days. $17.00. Money back guarantee. Yeah, I know. But I'm desperate.

Here we go.

Together, Bob and I throw all of the remaining diapers in the garbage. He puts on his new big boy underpants. We are to role play using the potty over and over until the magic actually happens in the potty. We must then celebrate, throw a parade, call to report the event to Bob's inner circle (daddy, grandmas, aunties), and then role play some more. We are to do this all day. For three days. In a row. Without leaving the house.

So very desperate.

DAY 1

(10:30am. BOB is sitting on his potty.)

ME

Are you going pee pee?

BOB

I want to touch your eye.

ME

Are you going?

BOB

(Poking ME in the eye repeatedly)

It’s squishy squashy.

ME

Did you pee pee?

BOB

Let’s have candy!


END SCENE