Full Disclosure

When we were 19, one of my closest girlfriends was helping her parents clean out a dresser and came upon a wedding photo of a bride and groom, the bride was her mother, the groom was not her father. Shocked and confused, she asked her mom about it. Her mom said, “It didn’t matter.” It didn’t matter until right then when her daughter’s world was turned on its side for a while as she reorganized her understanding of her family.

Another girlfriend confided recently that she felt like she had already waited too long to tell her elementary school aged kids about her previous marriage. She knew she was going to tell them eventually and was worried that it would be hard for them to hear it now that they had friends whose parents were getting divorced.

I have two previous marriages behind me. I took the experience of my gals into consideration. I discussed it with Jeff. We decided the time had come for me to talk to Bob about it before the news could be interpreted as a secret being kept and revealed.

“Babba? Come sit down for a minute.”

“Okay… Did someone die?’

“No. Why would you ask that?”

“Are we having a talk?”

“Yes, but it’s not about anyone dying.”

“Okay.”

“So Bob, sometimes when people get married the two people decide that it’s not a good fit and they get unmarried. It’s called a divorce.”

“I’m going to marry Daisy and Pearl.”

“When you’re old enough and you and the dog and the cat all decide to get married, we can discuss it. So what I want to tell you is that before I met Daddy I was married and unmarried - divorced, two times.”

“Did those guys die?”

“No they didn’t die. No one died. They are both good guys but not good matches for me so we were unmarried. Then I met Daddy. We are a good match and we are a family.”

“And you and daddy are staying married?”

“We are staying married. I just wanted you to know about my other marriages. Do you have any questions?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure honey, what is it?”

“Do you know I was kidding when I said I was going to marry Daisy and Pearl?”

“Good to know.”

Expert Opinion

Jeff is sick. He’s sneezing, has a runny nose, a stuffy head, and a sore throat. At dinner this evening he coughed sneezed and tried to swallow simultaneously. The result was not good. He excused himself to the bathroom to recover. I was left at the table with our resident internal medicine specialist, Dr. Bob.

“Daddy’s whole mouth is broken. He’s going to need a cast on it.”

“A cast on his mouth?”

“Yes, Mama… that might be difficult.”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll have to use Scotch tape.”

“I think we should try it.”

It Was Serious Business

If you were any one of the six people sitting near us at church on Easter morning and you shook Bob's hand during the peace-be-with-you part of the service, you will recall that the exchange went exactly like this:

You said, "Peace be with you!" or you said,"Happy Easter!"

Bob shook your hand gravely and announced,"This morning I found eggs in my backyard."

Smacksy Easter Sunday Link: Eggs

Thanks to my friend Jennifer for passing along this amazing link. If you are sitting anywhere near a big pile of hard boiled eggs right now, this link will save you.

Wishing great joy to all of you who celebrate Easter and wishing great joy to all of you that don't.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: It's Here

I didn't realize until this moment arrived that I have been waiting for it since Bob was born: The First Noodle Necklace. He made it for Jeff. And it is glorious.

Forbidden Images

In my fading-into-the-distance-life as a TV producer, one of my job duties was discussing appropriate content with the folks in Standards and Practices at whatever network we were working with. Among other things, Standards deals with what a network deems appropriate content for air. Some of these rules are dictated by the FCC/Federal Communication Commission and others are a general mandate from networks depending on the show’s viewer demographic, time of day that the program will air, and script context, among other things. It is not an exact science so it all made for some interesting discussions.

In the early days of film, movie theater projectionists were instructed to edit movie scenes according to the local moral standards of the day. This lovely short film, reminiscent of the beautiful scene at the end of Cinema Paradiso, is comprised of the snips deemed too racy for the time. Forbidden Images was made for the 2007 72 Hour Film Festival in Frederick, Maryland. The footage used in it came from a reel of 35mm nitrate found in an old theater somewhere in Pennsylvania. Thanks to my friend Spider for sharing it.

It's shocking in its loveliness.

How to Do a Snow Wedding Trip by Bob

If you get to go a snow trip and your Cousin Kim is getting married at the snow then you get to go out of town to a state called Nevada but also you will be in the California state sometimes. There's a car and bus part too. The bus part is super and you get to be in a hotel with beds and a big donuts place at breakfast time.


Bring your Star Wars guys on the plane, mostly good guys but also a bad guy. Do not let the storm trooper guy near your peanut airplane snacks because he might steal them because he does a lot of bad behavior. You will meet the pilot and the co-pilot and get to see the pod they sit in with one hundred buttons and two steering wheels. A co-pilot is a helper pilot like Mrs. T is the helper teacher at my school.



You can sleep on your mom's lap through the wedding part of the wedding but when the eating part happens, your cousin Dan can show you how to make real snowballs out of snow and you can throw them at trees.


Then you can go on the snow part by the outside tables and make snowballs. You can throw snowballs on to the lunch part of the wedding because the people are outside so they like snow. When you hit ladies with snowballs it can make your mom say your name very loud and lots of people will do laughing. Your mom even will do laughing. Your dad will fall through snow in his church shoes so he can't come get you but he gets bossy and thinks the funny throwing is a bad idea.


Snow weddings are fun and if you get tired after everything you can do a suitcase ride and have relaxing. You should have a fun snow wedding if someone wants to take you over there.