Thursday, June 25, 2009

Anatomy: 104

The Penis Monologues

Bob is still spending a great deal of energy examining the male/female thing.
Just like the rest of us.

We are in the car on the way to the library.

“Daddy has a penis?” Bob asks.


“I have a penis?”

“Yes you do.”

“Does Pops have a penis?”


“You don’t have a penis.”

“No, I do not.”

“Does Elmo have a penis?”

“Um, no.”

“But Elmo is a boy. He has a penis.”

“Elmo is a muppet, he is pretend, not a boy.”

“Elmo is a boy! He has a boy penis! Elmo is not pretend! I saw him!”

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Elmo has a penis.”

“Bob the Builder? Does Bob the Builder have a penis?”

“Uh… yes?”

“What about Coldplay? What’s that guy’s name?”

“Chris Martin?”

“Does Chris Martin have a penis?”


“Where does he keep it?”

“Trick question.”

“Where is Chris Martin’s penis?’



“The Hamptons?”