Monday, September 17, 2012

Resolutions: 5773 Edition

It's Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. As a Jew-adjacent, I am spending part of my day in reflection and have come up with a few things I would like to do differently going forward in 5773...

I will no longer shriek, "Tea towel! Tea towel!" at Mr. Rosenberg when he mops up spilled coffee with the decorative towels that live on the oven door. He's right: towels should earn their rent doing towel things, not just hanging out looking cute.

I will read books of my choosing and at my leisure, and not merely pull an all-nighter the twenty-four hours before my book club meets.

I will not walk through our house without wearing shoes or hard-soled slippers with which to repel Legos. Getting from one side of Bob's bedroom to the other is akin to crossing a bed of hot coals without the spiritual experience that Tony Robbins promises. Dearforms are my co-pilot.

I will wash the station wagon before Bob's friend Dustin feels the need to announce how filthy it is to the rest of the kindergarten class at circle time.

I will close my computer when I am not using it in order to keep the cat from standing on my keyboard. Facebook has seen my last, "aklurdghfioauertow83kJSJDFJJSHJ99999999999999," status update. You're welcome.

L 'Shana Tovah Everybody!


  1. L'Shana Tovah, Rosenbergs!

    Thanks for the cat/Facebook clarification; If I'd seen that, I would have called emergency services.

  2. L'Shana Tovah from my family to yours!

  3. Happy New Year! Great resolutions.

  4. Lisa, you're so funny.

    Dearforms and crocs are my co-pilos.


    This was adorable.

  5. Ha! So my husband isn't alone in his inappropriate use of the good towels!

    1. I am going to release the good towels to the universe and only cringe a little when I see them mopping up cat barf off the floor.

  6. For some reason, Jewish new year's resolutions always seem so much more doable than New Year's resolutions... Happy, healthy, sweet new year! Looking forward to more Smacksy excellence in 5773.

  7. I think that us women may have as many words for rags, wash clothes, tea towels etc., as Eskimos have for snow.

  8. Lisa...your posts are always very interesting...I like the way you add details of your hobbies above..just keep sharing with us your beautiful aspects..

  9. These sound doable and sensible to me.

  10. Vi on the computer is a riot. And you as a "Jewish adjacent" made me LOL.