Monday, September 17, 2012

Resolutions: 5773 Edition


It's Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. As a Jew-adjacent, I am spending part of my day in reflection and have come up with a few things I would like to do differently going forward in 5773...

I will no longer shriek, "Tea towel! Tea towel!" at Mr. Rosenberg when he mops up spilled coffee with the decorative towels that live on the oven door. He's right: towels should earn their rent doing towel things, not just hanging out looking cute.

I will read books of my choosing and at my leisure, and not merely pull an all-nighter the twenty-four hours before my book club meets.

I will not walk through our house without wearing shoes or hard-soled slippers with which to repel Legos. Getting from one side of Bob's bedroom to the other is akin to crossing a bed of hot coals without the spiritual experience that Tony Robbins promises. Dearforms are my co-pilot.

I will wash the station wagon before Bob's friend Dustin feels the need to announce how filthy it is to the rest of the kindergarten class at circle time.

I will close my computer when I am not using it in order to keep the cat from standing on my keyboard. Facebook has seen my last, "aklurdghfioauertow83kJSJDFJJSHJ99999999999999," status update. You're welcome.

L 'Shana Tovah Everybody!






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16 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 17, 2012 at 4:04 AM

    L'Shana Tovah, Rosenbergs!

    Thanks for the cat/Facebook clarification; If I'd seen that, I would have called emergency services.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Melisa WellsSeptember 17, 2012 at 4:09 AM

    L'Shana Tovah from my family to yours!

    ReplyDelete
  3. BeckySeptember 17, 2012 at 6:06 AM

    Happy New Year! Great resolutions.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AlexandraSeptember 17, 2012 at 7:24 AM

    Lisa, you're so funny.

    Dearforms and crocs are my co-pilos.

    xo

    This was adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MadelineSeptember 17, 2012 at 8:40 AM

    Ha! So my husband isn't alone in his inappropriate use of the good towels!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa Page RosenbergSeptember 17, 2012 at 8:46 AM

      I am going to release the good towels to the universe and only cringe a little when I see them mopping up cat barf off the floor.

      Delete
  6. lady dSeptember 17, 2012 at 9:42 AM

    For some reason, Jewish new year's resolutions always seem so much more doable than New Year's resolutions... Happy, healthy, sweet new year! Looking forward to more Smacksy excellence in 5773.

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownSeptember 17, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    I think that us women may have as many words for rags, wash clothes, tea towels etc., as Eskimos have for snow.

    ReplyDelete
  8. topics for analysis essaySeptember 17, 2012 at 7:47 PM

    Lisa...your posts are always very interesting...I like the way you add details of your hobbies above..just keep sharing with us your beautiful aspects..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ms. MoonSeptember 18, 2012 at 4:49 AM

    These sound doable and sensible to me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. gradydoctorSeptember 25, 2012 at 3:26 AM

    Vi on the computer is a riot. And you as a "Jewish adjacent" made me LOL.

    ReplyDelete

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