Heckler

"Mom? How old do I have to be for you to leave me alone in the house?"

"I don't know. Twenty-five?"

"Mom, really."

"Thirty?"

"Mom!"

"It depends on a lot of things: Your maturity level... how responsible you are... if you're carrying your own liability insurance...

"Is this one of those times when you're just saying stuff to try to be funny?"

Things His Mother Would Never Say

"Mom? Can you make up some kind of math worksheets for me to do for fun on our long drive on Friday?"

Penalties

"Mom? Did you see that sign? If you get caught texting while you drive, it costs one hundred sixty-one dollars."

"I don't text while I'm driving."

"I know. It's super expensive."

"And dangerous."

"Yeah, when I learn to drive, if I ever text while I'm driving I'm going to go straight to the police station and give them the money. I would have to give myself a consequence 'cause you can't just go around doing that. Plus I can't afford it because I've only got twenty-eight dollars and seventeen cents and I'm spending that on college... and Legos."

My Side of the Closet

"Mom? You never wear pants and you have so many dresses. How many dresses do you have?"

"Thirty."

"You counted them?"

"I did."

"I'm not sure Mom, but I think that might be kind of weird."

"The dress part or the counting them part?"

"Yeah, both those reasons."

Smacksy Sunday Links

A bit of Santa Barbara

Don't find joy in what you do but how you do it.

Just say thank you.

A massive 800 track playlist of 90s indie and alternative music.

And sweetest dog brothers.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Retro Bob

Cheeks McGee in a bucket hat. 2008.

Outta Here

Mr. Rosenberg and I are sitting here in the living room trying to remember the last time we had a date night. A night with a meal and an event sans small chaperone. Elementary school parent functions do not count. We can't come up with anything. How did we let this happen?

Tonight! Tonight Mr. R. and I will be traveling up to Santa Barbara to have dinner and see a concert. Bob will be home with my mom. Delightful food (cooked by not me) and Elvis Costello await us. More importantly, grown up conversation will be happening, at least most of the time.

I'm afraid I won't know how to act in a grown up situation. I'm going to wing it.
And I'll order appetizers.
And delicious overpriced coffee.
And hear Alison.

It's going to be a good night.