Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Mr. Rosenberg, Are Your Ears Burning?

"Mom, the drummer in this band is really good. Do you know who it is?"

"I know the band is Green Day but I don't know the drummer's name."

"Do you think Dad could drum this song?"

"I'm sure if you give him about 20 minutes he could figure it out."

"Dad's good at everything."

"That's true."

"I'm not."

"Me neither Bob, but we have our strengths."

"Yeah, but it sure is good to have one of those guys in the family."

Monday, May 30, 2016

Memorial Day

Today we remember, with gratitude, our military who have made the ultimate sacrifice. I was touched by this NY Times article written by a former State Department official in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Friday, May 27, 2016

Self Portrait by Bob

Self Portrait by Bob Rosenberg
Crayon, pencil, marker, pastel on paper. 2014

Thursday, May 26, 2016


"Bob? Do you smell something weird?"


"I think it's coming from your backpack. Do you have something in there?"

"No, just some french fries from lunch."

Wednesday, May 25, 2016


"So I can walk the last three blocks to school by myself?"

"Yes, but only cross the street where there are crossing guards."

"I know."

"What if a stranger tells you he needs help finding his puppy?'

"I yell, 'No!' and run in the opposite direction."

"What if a man who isn't dad, Felix's dad, or Desmond's dad offers you a ride?"

"I yell, 'No!' and run in the opposite direction."

"What if a guy tells you he has free cupcakes in the back of his white, unmarked van?"

"I yell, 'No!' and run in the opposite direction."



"Baseball cards?"


"What if a lady has the same puppy/ride/cupcakes offer?"

"I yell, 'No!' and run in the opposite direction."

"Do all creeps look creepy?"


"Can you do this?"

"I'm ready, Mom. I'm ten."

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The Great Bobino

"Mom? Have you ever heard someone say, 'See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya?' Well I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be anyone else... except maybe Babe Ruth. But no, probably just me."

Monday, May 23, 2016


I thought that after years of tossing things out and going through boxes and culling and simplifying and organizing, that I had divested myself of all of my superfluous ephemera and paper stuffs.

Tonight while looking through a box in the garage I found a couple of work files that I didn't know existed. Old scripts, perhaps? Call sheets or post production schedules, maybe?

File One contained various receipts from 2001. I tossed them.

File Two held a photo from 1998 and page after page of meticulous record keeping of every outfit that I wore that same year. I guess I should hang on to that file in case I ever need it. (Like to prove that I'm a little compulsive.)

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Smacksy Sunday Links

It's the hard days that determine who you are.

Awkward social situations explained with stick figures.

Brené Brown on boundaries.

Secret sidewalk poems.

I could enjoy spending a weekend here.

And a live sand dollar.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Third Grade Lit

"So, Mom? Today Randall in my class checked out Moby Dick at the school library. I think it's too hard for him but I'm pretty sure he checked it out just so he could walk around saying, "I checked out Moby DICK." You know? Like he just wants to say d - i - c - k to everyone in the class. There are a couple of inappropriate kids in my class. I think we're probably the most inappropriate class in the third grade."

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

A Solid Plan

"This guy's pretty scary but I'm pretty sure we could take him down if we got him right in the, you know, privates area."

Tuesday, May 17, 2016


In my past working-in-TV life, one of my job descriptions was cameraperson. I carried around a large, by today's standards, videocamera and shot footage for TV shows. Bear this in mind as you watch the fine director of photography work I did earlier this evening at Bob's baseball game. Bob is at bat.

It can't be long before ESPN calls with a job offer.
(I guess nowadays I have to allow for interference due to mom excitement.)

Monday, May 16, 2016

Good Talk

Felix: I read in a book that a guy dug up dead Albert Einstein and took out his brain and put it in a jar.

Desmond: Do you know that if a car gets into a major car accident its front and back windshield will blow out?

Bob: Look over there guys. That dog is totally pooping.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Smacksy Sunday Links

To be read.

We don't celebrate enough. I feel strongly about this.

What it means to hold space for someone.

This moment is enough.

How playing music benefits your brain.

And bears in the pool.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Game Called

When you're bored because your game gets rescheduled because someone left the sprinklers on at the baseball field all night and the diamond is flooded.

Friday, May 13, 2016

A Fetching Accessory

This, my friends, is The Face Caddy.™ It's a polar fleece thing with velcro on top and a place on the side where you fit in an icepack. One of my friends suggested I buy one to make icing my jaw easier after my oral surgery situation. Isn't it stunning? Really though, it is pretty great, as long as no other human has to see you wearing it. Also, you don't want to catch a look at yourself in the mirror when you've got this baby on either or you will be frightened.

This is not an advertisement for The Face Caddy™ but rather a cautionary tale about the perils of oral surgery. If you thought you looked bad with a swollen face, put this hot pink number on and look like the biggest dumbass on the block.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Thursday Morning Guard Dog

What ferocious looks like.

Every Thursday morning at 9:30am, Mr. Jerry comes to do our yard work. We all love Mr. Jerry and he has been with us since we moved into our old house eight years ago. He is our gardener/handyman/carpenter and he whistles while he works. This morning it was "Sunny Side of the Street."

Teddy also loves Mr. Jerry and follows him around the house when he does work here, but on Thursday mornings, Mr. Jerry is accompanied by The Leaf Blower. Teddy is an affable guy who just wants to lick everyone on the mouth, but the sound of The Leaf Blower is Teddy's signal to FREAK THE HELL OUT. He reacts to the sound of leaves blowing as if a thousand mail carriers have descended upon the house. I hole up in my bedroom until Teddy's barking storm passes.

At 10:30am, when Mr. Jerry is finished, he slides a single dog biscuit under the front door for Teddy. The biscuit is the sign that all is peaceful again in Teddy's kingdom.

Until the FedEx guy shows up.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016


"Mom? Can I ask you something?"

"You can."

"Is it okay if I love God more than you and Dad?"


"You can love God more than me too, I'll totally understand."

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Possibly Not Doing This Right

Sometimes you have an extremely unpleasant oral surgery situation go down. You get back from the endodontist and take something for the pain, eat some mashed potatoes, and fall asleep at three o'clock in the afternoon. You wake up hours later and because you slept too long and the pain reliever has worn off, a slamming throb has taken up in your right jaw. You take more meds, apply the icepack, and then do the next most obvious thing: take a selfie to commemorate this occasion on social media.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Seven Years of Smacksy

Today marks seven years that I have been posting every day on Smacksy. People have asked if I ever worry that I'll run out of things to say. The answer, so far, is no. There is always something I find a little bit compelling for me to report if I open myself to all of the possibilities and keep my coffee refilled.

I sometimes procrastinate on other writing projects I'm involved with but because I made a deal with myself seven years ago to write in this space every day, I still feel like I'm always writing. Always writing means I'm always listening, always watching, always taking in life and working out a way to offer it back as a story. Sometimes the story has a beginning, middle, and end. Sometimes the story is a quick grab of dialogue. Sometimes the story is a photo. This process fills me up and keeps me engaged in the world. It keeps me writing.

Thank you all for showing up here. Your friendship, your comments, your emails, and your presence mean the world to me.

Here's to another outstanding year of you and me and us. 

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Smacksy Sunday Links

How to get over common creative fears.

She's 91 but she feels 15.

Never before seen glowing jellyfish.

And a hummingbird who will not leave the side of the dog who saved her life.

Happy Mother's Day Sunday.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Art History and Pancakes

"Mom, I don't know if I should be allowed to sit on this side of the booth."

"Why  not?"

"I can see in that painting right there, that lady isn't wearing her shirt."

"That's a copy of a famous painting by an artist named Paul Gauguin."

"But why isn't she wearing a shirt?"

"They're women in Tahiti."

"Okay, but they probably got really uncomfortable sunburns."

Thursday, May 5, 2016

We're Gonna Party Like It's Your Birthday

Ten years ago today, this little gentleman showed up and everything changed. I told Bob this morning that when I went into labor with him, the first thing I did was... my hair. My little step to control that which was wildly beyond my control. His entrance was loud and messy and not much has changed and I am delighted.

Having a baby was a great idea, especially since his father is ten years younger than I am and was able and willing to do so much of the heavy lifting. Bringing into the world a person who is part Mr. Rosenberg has been my best idea yet. Where once there was one of my favorite people, now there are two.

We started today with presents and balloons and chocolate chip pancakes at a weird diner. We started today with gratitude for our family and the life we have designed together. We started the day with love and coffee. We couldn't want for anything more.

Happy Birthday, Bob and Happy Baby-versary, Mr. Rosenberg. You guys are the absolute best.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

A New One!

Guys! I'm part of a new parenting book collection called "True to Life Parenthood: The Only Handbook You'll Need." It's a swell collection of stories and tips and it's available in stores in Ireland, England and Australia OR on the website HERE. (You will be paying in Euros so you will feel quite cosmopolitan.) It's the perfect baby shower gift or present for the new mom in your life.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Bob and Mr. Rosenberg Took a Trip

"Mom? The Colorado trip was loads of fun. It was only the third time I've seen snow in my whole entire lifetime. We got in a snowball fight. One of the snowballs got Great Uncle Paul right in the face, all the way under his glasses. He was sort of ticked off. I don't blame hime, but I'm super glad I'm not the one who threw it."

Monday, May 2, 2016

I See His Point

"Mom! You can't eat these animal crackers."


"Because you eat vegan."

"Do they have dairy in them, or something?"

"No, Mom. They're animals."

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Smacksy Sunday Links

How to handle difficult times.

Collect memories instead of stuff.

And dogs eating peanut butter.

Happy Sunday