Thursday, September 30, 2010

Dream Catching

Jeff and Bob and I rode in the car together this morning to the mechanic's shop.

"Mama? Daddy? I had a dream about God last night," said Bob.

"What did you dream?" said Jeff.

"I dreamed that God came out of heaven and was a human and walked around on the planet just like the other human people but he wasn't a human, he was still God."

"Wow. Where'd you hear about that?" I said.

"I didn't hear about it, I dreamed it, last night."

"Anything else, Bob?"

"Yeah. Can I please have the other half of my Popsicle for breakfast when we get home?"

"No, but maybe after breakfast, little oracle."

"You mean little Popsicle."

"You're good, Bob."

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Try Cycle

With the station wagon back in the shop again, Bob and I decided we would ride our bikes to pre-school in the morning. We were doing fine for the first half a block.

"Mom? I can't do this anymore. My bike is tired."

"You can do it, babe. Just keep moving."

"I think you should push me."

"I can't push you. I have to ride my own bike." We rode another block and stopped at the stop sign. "Okay let's go."

"It's too bumpy right here. I'm scared."

"You're fine, Bob. Be brave."

"I can't be brave. I'm too scared."

"Just keep moving. Being brave is being afraid and doing it anyway. You're doing great." As I quietly high fived myself for turning our bike ride into a "teachable moment," I heard a crash and saw that The Brave One had fallen over in a driveway.


"Come on, honey. You're okay. Now get back up on your bike, and you get to be... um... even more brave."

"I'm not interested."

"I don't blame you."

It was a long ride.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Requiem for a Squirrel

Bob, Brandon, J.P. and Mia sat around a pile of sticks they called “the campfire.” Under the shade of the biggest tree in the park, they told ghost stories.

“There’s a bloody arm in there,” said J.P.

“Ew. No there isn’t,” said Mia.

Bob pointed up to the branches above them. “I think there’s a ghost in the tree up there.” Jake started up the small hill to meet the campers. The other parents and I chatted in the ravine below. “Hey you guys!” called Jake. “It’s a dead squirrel!” There was a rush down the hill as kids encircled the squirrel corpse.

“Whoa,” said J.P. “His eye popped out.”

“His tongue’s sticking out too,” said Brandon.

Jake poked the squirrel lightly with a stick. “Maybe we should put leaves on him?”

Bob looked at me, his bottom lip starting the sad quiver. “Can we make him not dead, Mom?”

“No we can't fix him but he’s not using his body anymore,” I said.

“I think a stranger gave him bad food and he got sick and died,” said Mia.

“Maybe a storm trooper fought him in a battle?” Bob said.

“Guys? I think he fell out of the tree,” said J.P.

I dug a plastic Von’s bag out of my purse and wrapped up the squirrel. “I’m just going to move him out of the way.” Brandon, J.P. and Jake lost interest and went back to the circle of sticks. Bob and Mia followed behind me as I walked up the hill with the squirrel bag. I set it down gently in the garbage can. We picked small purple flowers from the vine on the fence and scattered them over the bag. “Let’s say a few words for the squirrel.”

“Okay, Bob’s mom,” Mia said.

“I bet this little squirrel had a very nice life. I know if I was a squirrel, I would want to live in this beautiful park,” I said. “Now he’s on his way to squirrel heaven to play and eat snacks for eternity.”

“Bob’s mom? What’s eternity?” said Mia.

“It means forever.” We started back down the hill.

“Hey, Mama? When is God going to take the squirrel out of the garbage can? How does he get him out of there?”

“God won't need to take the squirrel's body because the squirrel isn’t in it anymore. His little squirrel spirit is has already moved on.”

“Where’s your spirit?”

“It’s the part inside you that you feel with. The part that makes you, you.”

“Mom? Did that squirrel hurt when his eyes came out?” said Bob.

“I’m betting it all happened pretty fast and he didn’t have time to feel it.”

“Yeah mom, and your spirit doesn’t need eyes for eternity.”

Monday, September 27, 2010

Having fun. Wish I was here.

When my mom gets off of an airplane she will inevitably be in possession of the life story and email addresses of the other passengers that sat in her row. She knows that people are fascinating and everyone has a story and she wants to hear it. I love this about her.

Mom came over to hang out with Bob while I went to my endodontist appointment last week. As I left she said, "Have a good time!"

"Mom, I'm going to get a root canal."

"I know but you've never been there before. It's a new experience. You'll be meeting new people."

"I'll try."

I did try. It made a difference. I won't say that it was fun but it wasn't bad. I did meet new people and they were nice and my mouth was sore but it felt better and I tried.

I am trying to figure out how I can adapt this sage, have-a-good-time advice to driving in LA traffic. I'll let you know.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links

The Rosenberg Men

Jim is a dad who makes amazing character pancakes for his three year old daughter, Allison. Enjoy his genius at Jim's Pancakes.

You may know that the guys over here at Casa de Rosenberg really love their Star Wars. Jeff and Bob have sanctioned this fabulous video clip of a guy whose cabinet door sounds just like Chewbacca.

Please enjoy :23 seconds of a kitten massaging another kitten.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Friday, September 24, 2010

1:38 am

Lego Storm Trooper Portrait by Bob

The clock read 1:38 am. Bob was standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the hallway light.

"Bobby? Are you okay?" He stomped into our bedroom clutching Wallace, his stuffed animal horse. "What is it, Bob?" He waved a tired hand in my direction and threw himself onto the bed.

"Meh. I need to sleep in your bed. It's those closet ghosts again."

"Sure, Gramps."

"They're just so darned loud."

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Geographically Desirable

"Mama? I did it."

"What's that, Bob?"

"I figured out where heaven is."

"Yeah? I didn't know you were working on that."

"Heaven is near the airport."

"Which airport? LAX?"

"Yeah. Since God is everywhere all the time and also God is in heaven then heaven must be near the airport. Or South America. By the bottom."

"You mean like Tierra Del Fuego? Why the bottom of South America?"

"I don't know."

"South America sounds more heavenly than the Wally Park on Century Boulevard."

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Pros and Cons of Today's Root Canal

Recovering from a swollen cheek Photo by Bob

Not So Great:

1. The endodontist looked at my x-ray and said, "Whoa. Well, don't worry. It's mostly routine."

2. During the procedure there was an episode of "Guy's Big Bite" playing on a large flat screen behind the dental technician.

3. The sound of Billie Jean on the music system did little to drown out Guy Fieri's description of his fast Asian pickle marinade as "money."

4. The sound of a tiny drill inside my face did little to drown out Guy Fieri's Korean street food pork sandwich taking him on a "trip to Flavor Town."

5. I had a root canal.

Worth Every Dollar of the Co-Pay:

1. Our toothpaste-phobic child is now willing to brush with "awful barf paste" to avoid getting a "head cavity mouth canal like Mama."

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Santa's Dad

Foot Self Portrait by Bob

"Mom? When did Santa's dad die?"

"Santa Claus's dad?"


"Why do you think Santa's dad is dead?"

"Well, does Santa have a dad?"

"Um. I'm gonna say, yes?"

"Santa is very old so I thought maybe his dad was very dead."

"I don't know how old Santa is or anything about his parents."

"Oh... I am very old now because I am four."

"You are a big boy but you are not very old. You know daddy and I aren't going anywhere, right? You are stuck with us, Buddy."

"Thanks, mom."

Monday, September 20, 2010

Bob and Louie the Super

When we stayed with our friends in New York last month, Uncle Dave arranged a meeting between Bob and Louie, their building supervisor.

"So, Mama? When you put the garbage into the chute it goes down a tunnel and it ends up in a giant bag at Mr. Louie the Super. Did you know that? It does. Then when the bag gets full, Mr. Louie the Super puts the garbage bag into a muncher and then it goes in another big garbage dumpster-can. Have you seen one of those before, Mom? It is really good. Then in the under part of the building, Mr. Louie the Super also has the part where there are little machines that do electricity for the whole tall building of Uncle Dave and Aunt Toni and baby Ramona. Does baby Ramona know Mr. Louie the Super? She should know him. Mr. Louie the Super is my friend now. He knows lots of things."

Thanks, Uncle Dave. Thanks, Mr. Louie the Super.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links

I've never met a Slow Loris before but I would like to hang out with one.

This has lovely rooms to get lost in...

Here is a version of
"Bei Mir Bist Du Schön" by Waldeck I'm liking.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

Ladies Man

Bob and I had lunch in a fancy pants restaurant with two of my girl friends yesterday. After dessert Bob whispered in my ear, "Mom can we go to the beach after this lunch?"

"It's going to be foggy and cold."

"That's okay."

"And we're wearing dress up clothes and don't have sweaters."

"That's okay, Mom."

"Okay. Let's do it. We can only stay for about half an hour though."

Bob then raised his hand to introduce a topic into the grown up conversation, "Pardon me, ladies?"

"What's up, Bob?" said Anna. I smiled, waiting to hear Bob tell them about our beach plan.

"Ladies? I am wearing new Star Wars underpants right now. They have storm troopers on them."

The man's got game.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

At the Target

"Bob, my wallet's not in my purse. Maybe they can hold our cart while we go home and get it."

"Don't you have cash in your pocket, Mama?"

"Oh, yeah. I guess I do."

"Is it enough?"

"No. Not for everything we've got here."

"Mom? Let's just put some stuff back."

"That would be smarter wouldn't it?

"And we should just get the stuff I want."

"I see. What about the stuff I want?"

"But we really came here just for my new sneakers and my Wall-E and Star Wars underpants."

"Wow. You are just... so... right."

"Yes I am, Mom."

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Hard Sleeping

"Mom? There was another scary nightmare in my bed last night and hard sleeping."

"Well, that's rotten. What happened in your nightmare?"

"Boba Fett and Jaba the Hutt were trying to carbonite you just like Han Solo."


"Yeah but I was there and so I gave Boba Fett my toy action figure of himself with a jet pack. Then he was happier and turned into a good guy. Then he let you go. But it was still scary."

"It sounds like it."

"I rescued you."

"I think you do that more than you'll ever know, Bob."

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


"Violet, you are my kitten sister and I love that you like to sit in my bed and do purring. I know you like my fish mobile up there on the ceiling. I can get you your own mobile or something. Wait. I know just what you should have. Hey Mom? Mom? Can I get a poster of turkey lunch meat? You will love that, Vi. You very will."

Monday, September 13, 2010

3:20 AM

Photo via We Heart It

"Mom? Are you awake? Mom?"

"What's going on, Honey? Are you okay?"

"I had a bad dream. Can you get in my bed, please?"

"Sure. What was your dream about?"

"There was a closet monster and he was a bad guy and there was wind and loud things."

"That sounds scary."

"It was a very nightmare."

"Well let's think of some good things we can dream about instead."

"I'll go first. Ice cream would be a good dream."

"That would be very good. Okay, I'll pick birds flying."

"Together? Like a family?"

"Yes. I like them when they fly in a formation that looks like the letter V."

"Me too. I'll pick ice cream for my next dream after that. Except this time I'll pick chocolate."

"Nice. Okay I need a really good one now..."

"I have an extra good one for you, Mom."

"Let me guess. Ice cream?"

"Yeah and you can pick any flavor you want."

"Sweet dreams, Bob."

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links

Photo Via

Check out this amazing house/museum/story/something special place in London from Visual Vamp. I found it via La Boheme Maison.

They are Irish. They are awesome.

And :33 seconds of Happy Bouncing Otters.

Have a lovely Sunday.

Smacksy Satuday Photo: My In-House Pastry Chef

"Okay, Mom. You can look now. I know you like Star Wars a lot so I made you this Star Wars cake to get ready for your birthday and it's wood so you won't be allergic to it because wood doesn't have wheat in it and so, ready Mom? May The Cake be with you! Get it? Like The Force? May The Cake be with you!"

Friday, September 10, 2010

The Dismount

One way we are celebrating the Jewish New Year: Bob put on his pants all by himself today for the very first time. Shana Tovah, everyone.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Re-thinking the Nicknames

Evidence of a Playdate in Progress

"Mama! Mama! Mama!"

"What's wrong?"

"Brandon was over there and then me and J.P. were playing over here and then my noggin hit J.P.'s noggin and now the noggin part of my body is hurting. It's hurting so much!"

"I bet it is, Poops. Let me see. J.P. are you okay?"

"Yeah... Bob's Mom? You called Bob, 'Poops.'"

"Yes, I did."

"That was funny."

"Mom, you should call me just Bob."

"Okay, Just Bob."


"Bob's Mom? That was funny too."

Apres Playdate

"Mom? I need to have a relax."

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Just Wondering

"Hey, Bob. What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, Dad."

"We're always thinking about something,"




"What's on your mind, Buddy?"

"Um... Dad?"


"Are you sure I'm thinking right now?"

Monday, September 6, 2010


"May I have one more cookie please, Mama?"

"I don't know..."

"Mama! Please!"

"Come here, Bud."


"You know that whining doesn't work."

"It should."

"But it doesn't. Let's talk about this."


"How many cookies have you had already? For real."


"Well, three is a lot of cookies."

"Four always works for me."

"That's a solid argument."

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links

What were you doing in 1992? Paul Rudd was a Bat Mitzvah DJ in the San Fernando Valley. This only makes me love him more.

This cake is a delight.

In honor of this weekend's 45th Annual Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon, here is a moment with the fabulous Totie Fields at the telethon in '75.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Smacksy Saturday Photo: It's Santa Monica, Not Tatooine

To celebrate the last weekend of summer, we went to the beach with "some Star Wars guys and Princess Leia and the tiny Mexican wrestler named Fritos."

A fine time was had by all.
Wishing you a swell day.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Check Please

"Dad? When is our dinner coming? When's my grilled cheese getting here?"

"We just ordered, Bob," said Jeff.

"It's going to be a few minutes," I said.

Bob slid out of his seat and under the table. In a moment, he reappeared on the other side of the table next to Jeff. Bob climbed on to Jeff's lap.

"Dad? Can I sit on your soldiers?"

"No, buddy."

"Your soldiers?" I said.

"He means shoulders."

"Oh. That was weird. I thought maybe 'soldiers' was a euphemism for your privates."

Jeff thought for a second. "No, but it is now."

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


It's morning. I open my eyes. His face is inches from mine.

"Can we call Brandon today? Are we going to the park? Can I have just butter on my toast for breakfast? I don't want jam or peanut butter today but maybe a waffle instead of toast. Or how about pancakes? Just one pancake and a toast or can I have one of those tall cookies? I only need two of them. Is J.P. home? Instead of Max and Ruby I think I want Word Girl for my morning show. Do we still have the one about the science competition with the giant robot and the egg cutting thing? Did Mia come back from Chicago yet? Can I call her? Can we have Luis over? Can we call his mama or you can write her on the computer? Guess what? I have your phone. I'm going to take your picture. Right now. Now. Say cheese!"

"Good morning, Bob."

"Good morning, Mama."