Smacksy Saturday Photo: Milk Has Never Looked Better

It's a pair of glasses. It's a straw. It's a glasses-straw and it's fabulous.

Lucky Pennies

This season, Bob was back for his third annual holiday shopping trip to the 99 Cent Store. His choices were thoughtful and most excellent.

For Jeff
Package of hooks and screws "For Dad's workshop." (What workshop?)
Bar of soap "For the sweating."

For Bajan (Jeff's Mom)
Package of white daisy napkin rings "What are these?"
Eyeshadow "Ladies like make up."

For MeeMee (My Mom)
Blue plastic vase with faux red roses "She can put it on her table for beauty."
Sparkly adhesive fingernail decorations "Glittery."

For Aunt Jill (Jeff's Sister)
Glass vase "For flowers or other things."
Liquid hand soap with goldfish decorations "They aren't real fish. I'll tell her."

For Aunt Jen (Bob's Godmother)
Orange flashlight "In case her electricity goes out like ours."
Snowman window decals "She's really into snowmen."

For Pops (Jeff's Step-dad)
Bar of soap "Because he does exercise too."
Large bag of tortilla chips "Because old guys like chips, mostly."

For Me
Package of 175 gold safety pins "Because they are golden like pirate treasure."
White beaded necklace with silver-toned starfish pendant "They are all jewels."

They are all jewels.

Who, Me?

"Mom? I love you so much."

"I love you so much too, Babe."

"Mom? I love you so much even though you sometimes use bad language."

How were the holidays?

This about sums it all up.

Prepared

"Jeff, do you have any cash?"

"No, sorry, Honey."

"Hey Mom? I have cash."

"Thanks, Bob. Can I borrow some to pay for the parking?"

"How much do you need?"

"Ten dollars."

"Okay, I'll give you a ten dollar and then also a penny with it, just in case."

G'Morning

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"Hey, Bob? It's time to wake up."

"I can't. It's so nice and warm in this bed."

"Come on, Sweetheart. You need to get up now."

"But it's all cuddly in here."

"Bob."

"Mom, I'm just not available."

Merry and Merriest to You

Our Star Wars Christmas Cake, decorations courtesy of Bob Rosenberg

"Hey Dad? You wanna lick this plane?"
Merry Christmas.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Merry 80's Christmas

"Smile you guys! Lisa will be posting this on her blog in 30 years!"

Because I like any excuse to show off my fancy 80's perm, once again I am sharing this memento from my 1981 holiday job at the Capitola Mall. My friend Scott is the 17-year-old Santa. Happy and Merry.

I'll Be In Touch

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"Mom? I told Santa that we'd send him my list. Do you have his email?"

What to Wear to Von's by Bob Rosenberg

Early Morning Trip to the Grocery Store:
Lego Star Wars Pajamas - Check
Old Navy Hoodie (2 sizes too small) - Check
Fireman Rain Boots - Check
Santa Hat - Check

Latkes Plus

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"Mom? I love Christmas and Hanukkah. Christmas is good because we get to see our family and Hanukkah is good because of all the sour cream."

A Man, A Plan

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"Hey, Mama? I'm making a plan for 2012."

"What's your plan?"

"I'm going to learn to do back flips in the water at swim class."

"Good one."

"And I want to have lots of play-dates and do gymnastics."

"Cool."

"I also think we need to go on lots of vacations."

"I like the way you think, Rosenberg."

The Set Up

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"Hey, Mom! You know what I want for Christmas?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do."

"No, you know what I want for Christmas?"

"Yes, Bob. I've seen your list many times."

"Mom, really. You know what I want for Christmas?"

"What, Bob?"

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth! Gotcha! I heard that on the radio, Mom."

Smacksy Sunday Links

A beautiful letter regarding the truth about Santa.

Good news, news.

And you guys? Two minutes and forty-three seconds of an owl petting a dog.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Vi's Check Up

To the untrained eye, this appears to be a cat in a carrier waiting in the vet's office. In reality, it is a box of attitude.

El Chrismukkah

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"Mom? When Dad brings his guitar to school tomorrow, what's he going to sing?"

"He'll sing The Dreidel Song."

"And Jingle Bells?"

"Yep."

"He should sing Feliz Navidad for my friend Mateo."

"Excellent."

It's a Number

"Hey, Mom? What are you? Forty-five? Forty-six? Forty-eight?

"Bob? Why are you doing this to me?"

"I don't know."

Thanks, Santa

"Mom? What did you get me for Christmas last year?"

"Hmm... I don't remember."

"That's because you didn't get me anything. Only Santa did."

"Some of your gifts were from me. We opened everything so fast maybe you just didn't know what was from who."

"Mom, you should use tags this year. You know, tags?"

Christmas Q and A

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"So, Mom? Is the North Pole near Michigan?"

"Not exactly."

"Do Santa's pets go on the sleigh on Christmas and if they stay home, who lets them outside to go to the bathroom?"

"I don't think pets go in the sleigh and Mrs. Claus lets them out or maybe there's a pet-elf?"

"Are reindeers turbo? Is that how they go so fast?"

"Yes."

Oh, Christmas Tree!

As Jeff carried our Christmas tree through the lot, Bob ran ahead of him shouting, "Hey, Everybody! Look how strong my dad is!"

Smacksy Sunday Links

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This week it's all in the numbers...

50 ramen noodle recipes.

25 clever ideas to make life easier.

And 20 charming baby bunnies.

Happy Sunday!

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Dinner

Dinner with Jedi.

The Mysterious

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"Mom? Who puts the notes inside my Advent calendar every night?"

"Hmm. Who do you think does it?"

"A flying cat with one human hand who's kind of an elf and is one of Santa's pets."

"Okay then."

Hey!

"Bob, please get your feet off the wall."

"Okay, Dad."

"Bob? What are you doing with the remote?"

"Nothing, Mom."

"Honey, please don't pull my bookmark out of the book."

"Hey! When is somebody going to like my behavior?"

Named

"Mom? I have a new middle name I made up for myself."

"What's that?"

"Jay, Master of Lightning."

"Like in your Ninjago Legos?"

"Yeah. My full name is Robert Edward Jay Master of Lightning Lego Zone Rosenberg."

"I like it."

Check, Please

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"Here you go, Sir." The waiter winked as he set down Bob's plate.

"Thank you." Bob waited until the waiter walked away and then whispered, "Mom, shouldn't I tell him my real name?"

Things I Learned During 4 Days Without Electricity

We got off lucky with the giant wind storm that ravaged our town last week. We didn't lose our cars or home as some did. All we lost was our electricity. I am grateful to all of the friends and family who offered their electrified homes for our use, but hanging out in our cold, dark pad for a few days, I learned some things.

1. If everyone and the pets sleep inside the Star Wars fort on the bed, it is warmer than sleeping in that same bed sans fort. Nevertheless, the experience is a reminder of why winter camping is best avoided.

2. If your kid is sick and you try to use an electronic thermometer to take his temperature, it will malfunction if the room you are in is colder than 65 degrees. You might not know this so you will think the thermometer is broken and brave a late night Rite Aid run for a new thermometer and then the new one won't work either for that same reason. Also consider reading the manual the first time you buy one of those fancy thermometers, Hot Pants.

3. However many battery operated lanterns you have will not provide enough light to pluck your eyebrows with any degree of accuracy. Related: I would be the first one kicked off Survivor.

4. If you are behind on the laundry when the power goes out, by day four you will find yourself wearing tan dress slacks and a child's size 6 Gryffindor t-shirt.

5. If you drive three towns over to an open Target to buy a warm hat, four different people will comment that the new hat makes you look like a 1970's Mary Tyler Moore. You will decide to take this as a compliment and later ask Mr. Grant for a raise because you've got spunk.

6. Buying one of those solar powered cell phone chargers would have been a good way to spend a few bucks two weeks ago.

7. If you don't open your fridge for four days when the power is off, when you finally open the door, you will get the smells you deserve.

Batten down everyone, it's winter or something.

Smacksy Sunday Links

The tiny origami apartment is super cool. Where would I put all my books?

How handy is this?

And one minute and nineteen seconds of swinging bulldogs.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Uh... Yeah

No really, I meant to wear my bedroom slippers to Bob's swim class today.

What You Get With a Lights Off Day by Bob Rosenberg

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1. You get to stay home because school is canceled because there was a giant wind that stopped the electricity and you can't even watch Cyber Chase because the TV needs the electricity.

2. You get to set up your Clone Wars tent on the bed and use the camping lantern.

3. You get to listen to Christmas music on the battery radio.

4. You get to go for a walk and see a ton of sticks everyplace.

5. You get a hot lunch of a quesadilla with lots of fridge leftovers in it.

6. You get to stay in pajamas all day even for the walk and it's kind of the best day ever.

Backstage Pass

This morning, Bob emerged from his room wearing sweatpants, a striped t-shirt, and rain boots.

"Hey, Mom? I have a question for you."

"Okay."

"Do I look like a rock star?"