Sunday, October 31, 2010

Smacksy Halloween Sunday Links

Did I know how to party, or what?

I love It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, especially this scene.

This post on organizing blog, Chaos to Order, explains that the average person receives 41 pounds of junk mail a year. Forty. One. They reveal a way to eliminate, or at least cut down on, the annual mass of junk mail you receive. Bring it on! Or rather, cut it out!

I saw this video everywhere today and by everywhere I mean posted twice on Facebook; I love it. This lion is being reunited with the woman that raised him. Nice lion hugs.

Happy Halloween Sunday.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Tricks and Treats Circa '74


This fetching butterfly ensemble, designed and modeled by third grade me, explains why I do not make Bob's Halloween costumes.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Listening


"Dad? I'm done with dinner."

"You're all full?"

"My body is saying yes."

"It's good to listen to your body."

"Now my body is saying that it is bedtime but that we should do one more light saber fight on the patio before bed."

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Packing


Bob ran in the back door, passing me as he raced to his room.

"I'm leaving for the dark side, Mom. I have to pack."

"Where are your pants?"

"I am taking all of my pants out of the pants drawer and putting them into my backpack!"

"No, I mean now."

"I am doing it now!"

"I'm saying perhaps you should start by putting on some pants."

"Pants!"

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Advance Planning


"Mom? How am I going to get candy at tricks and treats if I'm not carrying a weapon?"

"A weapon? You don't need a weapon. You just ring the doorbell and say trick or treat and the neighbors will give you candy. You're not robbing them. Why do you think you need a weapon?"

"I thought I needed a weapon so that they will all know I am Han Solo. Han Solo carries a gun and he has a vest."

"You'll have the vest."

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Small Surprises


"Mom? I pooed."

"That's great, Babe. How was it?"

"It was in my underpants."

"Wait, what? Are you kidding?"

"I am very, very, very seewious."

Monday, October 25, 2010

Another Kind of Breathing


Jeff and Bob sat on the couch watching Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of the Clones. The Star Wars scene took place at the Naboo lake house. Anakin confessed his love to Padme.

"It's like, every time I think about you, I can't breathe..." said Anakin. Padme swooned.

Bob turned to Jeff. "Dad? Can you pause the movie?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Why did Anakin say he can't breathe? Is he hurt?"

"Well, sometimes when grown ups love each other it can feel almost like pain when they start falling in love."

"But I love you, and Brandon, and Mama, and J.P, and Mia and that doesn't hurt, Dad."

"That's different than romantic love, like when Mama and I first fall in love and-"

"Dad? Can you please just fast forward it?"

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Friday, October 22, 2010

More Stars


Bob received a deck of Star Wars playing cards from his grandma. He and I sat on the couch today and I read aloud the movie quotes listed on each card.

"So the two of clubs says, 'His cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life form.' That's Qui Gon Jinn."

"He's saying that to the Jedi Council," said Bob.

"Okay... and the three of diamonds says, 'Laugh it up, fuzzball.'"

"Han is talking to Chewbacca and being silly."

"I think you're right, Boo. So, the queen of hearts card says, 'Anakin, you're breaking my heart!'"

"Queen Amidala? How do you break a heart, Mom?"

"Having a broken heart means that you're desperately sad and a little hopeless, maybe."

"Oh yeah, Anakin made her sad. Who is that guy with Yoda?"

"The four of clubs? That's... I don't know that character's name. You'll have to ask daddy."

"You don't know? You've never seen him before?"

"Not in Star Wars. I've seen him other places."

"But what is his name?"

"His real name is Jimmy Smitts."

"What planet is he from?"

"He's from earth and The West Wing and LA Law."

"Is The Jimmy Smitts a good guy or a bad guy?"

"I don't know him but he always seemed pretty good."

"In LA Law?"

"Yeah."

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sheltered


Today it rained for the fourth day in a row. Bob and I were headed to meet up with friends at the indoor playground in the mall. We wandered through the food court, taking what we came to learn was the long way. Having been to this mall exactly one other time, I had no idea where we were or where we were going or where the indoor playground was in relation to our nearest landmark, Hot Dog on a Stick.

Bob's experience in this mall, or any mall, was even less than my own. He looked down the rows of stores and asked, "Mom? Are we at the airport?"

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Raining


This morning I got a call from Bob's pre-school teacher. Bob had slipped and bumped his forehead on some wooden blocks at school. He was fine but would feel better if I was there.

"Mom, you can kiss the bump but don't touch it." Bob was crying as we ran back to the car through the rain.

"That's a pretty big lump you've got."

"It hurts. That's it. I'm quitting school. I'm never going back."

"Because you hurt yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Poops, you're feeling bad right now and that's not a good time to make a big decision." I strapped Bob into his booster seat. "How about if we just make a small decision instead?"

"I'm deciding I will feel better at home today," Bob said as he wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"That's a good decision."

"Thanks, Mama. You know what?"

"What, Babe?"

"No one can stop the rain."

"That's true," I said and I kissed him on the forehead.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Haunted Star Wars



"Mama? I fixed the Halloween haunted house decoration to make it really scary with bad guys. Now it looks good and scary and everything. Oh, and Han Solo is there too so there's a good guy. And me, I am also good."

"Yes, you are."

Monday, October 18, 2010

Train of Thought


"Mom? Who's under that costume of Santa? Does Santa sleep in that or does he have Santa underpants and pajamas? Does he sleep or is he just awake all the time with the lists? Why is it so long until December? When did Yoda die? Did you see Daisy smiling? Dogs do smiling."

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links


Christmas Gift Spoiler Alert:
If you are a lady in my life and do not want to know all about the Christmas/Hanukkah gift you will be receiving from me this year, do not read the rest of this paragraph. Yesterday I met the lovely Kristen. She was wearing a fabulous necklace handmade in Uganda by women who create jewelry from recycled paper to support their families. She got her necklace from 31 bits. She told me about it and I'm in. Great cause, beautiful jewelry - what's not to like? Santa has been alerted.

These folks are nifty.

Please enjoy this 2:20 seconds of animals talking with accents. I'm partial to the prairie dogs.

Happy Sunday.


Smacksy Saturday Photo: OCD


In case you ever wondered if OCD was hereditary, I bring you the handiwork of the boy whose mother alphabetizes her spices. (And occasionally talks about herself in the third person.)

Friday, October 15, 2010

Deep Breath


Bob and I got out of the car at the park. Bob took off in a run down the hill and then stopped abruptly.

"Mom, what's that smell?"

"I don't know, Bud. I don't smell anything."

"I do. It smells like nature."

"Bob? I have to hug you immediately."

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fall


"I have bad dreams every night, Mom."

"What do you dream about?"

"Last night I dreamed I fell out of the car."

"That sounds really scary. You've never fallen out of the car before."

"I know. It was a dream."

"Bob, remember that time you almost fell when you were getting out of the car but I caught you?"

"At the Rite-Aid parking lot?"

"Yeah. Maybe if you dream about falling out of the car again you can have me catch you."

"I can't do that Mom, I'll be busy dreaming."

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

It's Relative


"My nose won't stop running, Mama. It's going to explode... I have a little cold."

"You sure do."

"Is it a grandma day today?"

"It is."

"Good. I need MeeMee to come over to take care of me."

"She'll be here in about an hour and a half."

"An hour and a half? That's going to take a very hundred years."

"It will take about an hour and a half, Bob."

"Oh. That's not so bad."

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Odd Jobs


"Mom? Did you know J.P.'s mom works with brains?"

"Yep. I do know that."

"And she's a mom."

"That's true. Do you know what I do?"

"You're my mom and you write things on the computer and do clothes folding."

"Pretty accurate. Do you know what your dad does?"

"He goes to work."

"Do you know what he does there?"

"He does computers and cowboy hats."

"Cowboy hats?"

"Yeah."

"I'll have to ask him about that one."

Monday, October 11, 2010

Bang



"Okay, so Dad? A long time ago there was a big bang, a really big bang and it made planets and caused the universe to life?"

"Something like that, right."

"For that biggest bang did God use a really big gun?"

"Um... no."

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links


Kimberly is a doctor at a busy public hospital in Atlanta. Kimberly is also a mother. Kimberly writes beautifully about all of it on her site Reflections of a Grady Doctor. You will want Kimberly to be your doctor too. Get over there.

Those OK Go guys have definitely found their thing and they do it so well. Here's their latest, White Knuckles, with dog co-stars.

If you don't watch the entire one minute video of these bunnies in cups, then I just don't get you anymore.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Private Meeting


"Vi? I love you to infinity and beyond...
That last part is from a movie, Vi."

Friday, October 8, 2010

Sea Change


"Mom? Do we come back?"

"Come back where, Poops?"

"Here. After we die, are we born again?"

"Well... we don't use the same body more than once, I know that. Some people think we come back as another person or maybe an animal. Some people think after you die your spirit moves on to someplace else, like heaven."

"Mom?"

"Yep?'

"Look. Our arm skin is the same color as each other."

"It is."

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Ready or Not


Bob and I were playing hide and seek: I count to 10 and he hides in the closet. This never gets old. For Bob.

"Where's my guy? Is he under the bed? No... Is he next to the window? No... Is he in the closet? Yes. There he is. I found him!"

"You found me. Now go count to ten again, Mama."

"...nine and ten. Where's Bob? Is he under the blanket? No... Is he behind the door? No... there he is. He's in the closet!"

"I don't want to be found right now, Mama."

"Okay. Well, I'll check back with you a little later." Five minutes passed and I returned to the closet. Bob was was laying on his stomach, head resting on his arms. "Hey, Bud. You alright?" He lifted his head and I could see he was crying. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"You never found me."

"I did. Then you told me you didn't want to be found so I came back later," I said.

"You didn't come back."

"I did. Look. I'm here right now." Bob rested his head back on the floor facing away from me. He lifted one hand into the air.

"Mom, please take this booger from me."

"Sure, Buddy."

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Inspection


"Can I have my towel, Dad?"

"You done with your bath, Buddy?"

"Yeah."

"Are you all clean?"

"Yeah. Smell my parts."

"No thanks. I'll take your word for it."

"They all smell really good, Dad."

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Date Night


We were at Ava's house for dinner. Bob was so excited to be in the presence of his lovely friend that he got a a little frantic, then a little weepy and then passed out. He fell asleep on the couch and stayed there missing the meal entirely. Bob may not be the most entertaining dinner companion, but he is dramatic.

Ava collects unicorns. She has a special lamp in her bedroom that casts rainbows across the wall and onto the "sky" of her four poster bed. Her unicorns are of course, magic. She trotted out the whole herd and set them up at strategic points around Bob to protect him while he slept.

As Bob would say, they very did.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Sweet Creatures



When I was in elementary school, our family had a small statue of St. Francis placed on the fence in our backyard. Saint Francis was the patron saint of animals and ecology so I suppose a suburban backyard is as fitting a tribute location as any. The shrine by the flower beds of ivy was my introduction to Saint Francis and by all accounts he seems to have been a cool guy who loved animals and nature. Were he alive today, I'm betting he would be a vegan, listening to reggae in his yurt.

In honor of The Feast of Saint Francis of Assisi, today our church celebrated The Blessing of the Animals. This is a semi-organized chaos wherein those brave enough to bring their pets, sit outside and watch the service on monitors while trying to keep their beasts of the field from humping random legs.

We brought Daisy with us to represent the Rosenberg herd. We met golden retrievers, chihuahuas, brindle-y mongrels and a 160 pound Great Dane named Lottie. There were cats in carriers and one in a cat stroller. There was a hamster and a turtle and a bear of the Teddy variety. Many creatures were loud and every one of them was blessed and we are blessed to know them.

Daisy found numerous butts to sniff and got a peanut butter sandwich out of the deal so she wasn't complaining either.

High five, Saint Francis.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links


Here's that brief guide to life you were looking for

and

a lovely micro movie about alone time by Tanya Davis

and

1:44 seconds of a happy dance by a little girl.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Smacksy Saturday Photo: It's a Little Dark Down There


Bob called a "special secret meeting" with Brandon under the table during dinner at Island's. The meeting would not be adjourned until the french fries arrived. Agendas.

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Opposite of Minty


"Mom? Can we have a meeting right now?

"Who?"

"You and me. I have something important for us to do talking about."

"Sure. What's up, Bob?"

"I can't like that spicy toothpaste. I need a different tasting flavor."

"Okay. We can look for a different one."

"I want cheese flavor. It's orange and tastes like a cheese."

"I don't think they have that."

"But they very should."