Countdown

"Desmond, look. Four days and the new Star Wars movie comes out. Four days. Hashtag EPIC, right?"

About the Force

"Look, Mom. Me and Felix made Star Wars shirts at the Holiday Workshop thing."

"Nice."

"We're super excited about The Force Awakens."

"I heard there are already people camped out in line for the movie and it doesn't even open until next week."

"What? That's crazy! Maybe I'm not as excited as I thought I was. Okay, I guess I'm only pretty much very excited."

What's Old, Is New

"Mom? Do we still have all of my Star Wars action figures in that box in the garage?"

"Sure."

"Can we bring them in? I think they just got good again."

I Only Know Yoda

"See this character, Mom? This is Chi Eekway Papanoida. She's a senator from Pantora, the moon of Orto Poltunia. She wears a cloak covered in Wroonian healing stones. She was an advisor to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine during the Clone Wars. Did you get that?"

There's One Named Phil?

"Mom, who's your favorite Jedi commander?"

"I don't know."

"There's Commander Bly, Commander Wolf, Captain Rex, Commander Cody, Commander Gree, Commander Phil, Commander Nero..."

"I really haven't spent enough time with any of them to have a favorite. I guess Commander Phil sounds nice."

"No, you like Commander Gree."

"I do?"

"Yeah, because he has green armor, your favorite color, and he's Yoda's commander, your favorite character. You should try to remember that."

Perspective

A "battle station." Not to be confused with a "piano."

Man Down

"Mom? Captain Rex is sick."

"What's wrong with him?"

"He has a chill and a fever but mostly a chill."

"Are you helping him?"

"Yeah. I put him to bed and covered him up and gave him some bedtime friends and took his temperature."

"Sounds like you're taking very good care of him."

"All he needs now to get well is some of the leftover Halloween candy. Mom, he likes mini-peanut butter cups."

The View

photo

"Mom? Is that downtown Los Angeles out the window?"

"Yep."

"I can sort of see the Taj Mahal from here."

"That would be pretty hard to do, pal. The Taj Mahal is in India."

"But, Mom? I'm a Jedi, remember?"

Edits

"Mom? While we're watching Star Wars Revenge of the Sith will you fast forward through the scary parts again?"

"Of course."

"And also fast forward through the pretty parts?"

"Which are those?"

"Anything with Padme and hugging."

He Got Me

"Bob? If I see you hitting the garage with a light saber again, I'm going to have to take the light saber away for the rest of the day."

"What if you don't see it?"

"I think you're missing the point."

"But how many points did I start with?"

Fans

"Mom? Does cousin-baby Olivia like Star Wars?"

"She's only three-months-old. She may not have an opinion about Star Wars yet."

"I'm pretty sure she likes it a lot."

"Why is that?"

"Because she is an extra good cousin-baby."

Bets

"Mom? Whoever gets to the top first wins."

"What do they win?"

"A million-seven dollars."

"Wow, Bob. I don't think I have a million-seven dollars to bet."

"Okay then, whoever wins owes hugs and kisses."

"I like that idea."

"Yeah, hugs and kisses are my best love thing on the whole world."

"Me too."

"And Star Wars and Harry Potter."

"Of course."

Fire and Ice

"You guys? Fireworks are so, so, so, so, so, so, so awesome. It's like a million-eighty-five stars split open and went into forever."

"You're right."

"And also if they had Star Wars fireworks on Hoth, they would be made out of ice. They would be ice-fireworks. They should have that. But these are super good too."

"Right again, baby."

Jedi Camp: Day 5

"So me and Jake and Brandon all picked each other to be dueling partners. It's called a trio, Mom."

"That's fantastic that you friends stuck together."

"First Brandon light sabered Jake and then he light sabered me but I was only pretend dead and I light sabered him and we all went down on the ground."

"Wow."

"Yeah, we did a lot of practicing. It was a pretty awesome friends trio, Mom."

Jedi Camp: Day 4

"Bob? What's the most important thing you've learned from Obi Wan this week?"

"To have fun."

"That's great. I love that."

"He said we have to have fun or he'll throw us in the garbage can."

"Wow, and that works?"

"Yeah."

"So... I'd like you to pick up your room or I'm going to have to throw you in the garbage can."

"Mom? You're not even a Jedi."

Jedi Camp: Day 3

"How was Jedi Camp today?"

"Good."

"What did you do?"

"Mom? Can you stop asking me questions about Jedi Camp, please?"

"Why? Are there Jedi secrets?"

"No, there's just this thing we're going to do on the last day where we show you our moves and I don't want to wreck the surprise."

"Understood."

"Also, my Jedi name is Jedi Phoenix."

"That's cool."

"I know it is, Mom."

Jedi Camp: Day 2

"Mom? Our master, Obi Wan, has a cell phone."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that means he's not the real Obi Wan?"

"I think it means everyone has a cell phone."

"I don't know..."

"It's probably because he's in the future."

"Oh, yeah! You're right, Mom. This is the future!"

Jedi Camp

Today, Bob and two of his friends started "Jedi Camp," a five day, three-hour morning program offered through our town's parks and rec department. Jedi Camp convened at 9:00am in the main room in the building next to the baseball field. A dozen small-ish Jedi-wannabes (technically, Padawans) stood in a row to meet their master, a baby-faced young man in robes who introduced himself as Obi Wan Kenobi.

Obi Wan formally greeted the group by shaking hands with each of his young students and quickly learning their names. He committed to a faux-British accent for the duration of the class, God love him.

According to Bob, the class went by too fast.

"Mom? I love Jedi Camp!"

"That's great, Babe. What did you do there ?"

"There was a coloring part and an outside games part and an inside light saber part and a snacks part. It was super-cool."

"That sounds amazing. What was your favorite part?"

"Meeting the real Obi Wan Kenobi. He's a Jedi master, Mom."

"That he is."

Smacksy Saturday Photo: A Glorious View From the Cheap Seats

Tonight we went with Bob, and seven of his friends and their families, to the Hollywood Bowl for Star Wars in Concert. Did Bob lose his mind? Yes he did. Watching him, watch the show, was spectacular.

Battle Snacks

"So, Mom? I made this modified ship for the battle droid. It has a cannon and two quick firing missile features. It has a landing base and a fold out wing on one side. There's a turret and in the middle there's a table with orange-colored cheese on it. This battle droid is really into orange-colored cheese."