At the Fun Fair by Bob Rosenberg

"Last weekend was the Fun Fair. Mom was signed up to volunteer at the skeeball booth. When mom and me got to the skeeball booth, the lady who had been working there saw my mom and said, "Oh, thank God," like she was really happy to see her. The lady left super fast and then Marcy's mom, Miss Susan, came to help."

"They started taking tickets from the people and then the lady in the knock-down-the-clown booth next door asked Miss Susan to watch her booth while she took one of her little kids to the bathroom. And then Mom was by herself for a little while and then the lady came back and said she had to leave because her kid had the diarrhea. Miss Susan was stuck alone in the clown booth and mom was alone at skeeball and there were long lines of people."

"That's when I came in and helped Mom and I took over one of the skeeball lanes. I took tickets and kept score and gave out prize tickets and handed out the little animal erasers to the kids when they missed and everything. And I did it the whole time. The balls were going everywhere and kept going off the lanes and under the booth and outside in the alley and we would have to go get them and do it fast. We were sweating from how hot it was outside so dad brought us ice drinks."

"We worked for two hours and then another new lady came and it was time for us to leave and Mom said, "Oh, thank God." It was great.

Old School

"What are you crazy people doing in my bedroom?"

"We're having a pillow fight. Is that all right, Mom?'

"Sure, Bob."

"Good, because you know, in the olden days play-dates were all about pillow fights."

Taking Charge

"Do you know where my shoes are?"

"I think I saw them under the big dinosaur on the playground, Desmond."

"Okay, Bob."

"I'll go with you, Desmond, because I'm the oldest."

If You Go to Your Cousin's Wedding by Bob Rosenberg

"If you go to your cousin's wedding your parents, mostly your mom, is going to make you wear dress up clothes: pants with dark socks and shiny shoes and a button shirt. There is another part you have to wear and that is a tie. The week before, you can clip the tie on to your t-shirts and wear it around the house for practice but when you wear it it's still kind of choking you a little, but don't worry, it's just pretend not real choking. Everyone is dressed up at the wedding, even your cousin Harry, not just you. Your dad also wears a tie and everything."

"There's the wedding part where your cousin wears a big white dress and does the marrying. There is Hebrew singing, Hebrew's another language, and everyone claps at the kissing part.

"There's two super fun parts at the wedding. There's a photo booth where you can wear hats and sunglasses and be a rockstar with your dad."

"Also there is a Michael Jackson impersonator who does singing to the Thriller song and everything. Your dad will take a picture with him and it will be so cool."

 
"You get to have orange juice with ice from a bar and bread rolls with your chicken dinner. There are sparkler sticks and you can hold one. It's all super good and it's a long walk back to the car and you will definitely fall asleep in the car on the way home. Definitely."

Smacksy Sunday Links

 
A dad drew thousands of pictures on his kid's lunches.

16 foods that will regrow from kitchen scraps. This is cool.

Baby quadruplets laughing. Cuteness.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Retro Bob

Mexico, 2006

I may have posted this before. It's one of my favorites.

Yes, a Jedi

 
"What are you going to do while I'm at school today, Mom?"

"I'm going to a lady store. I might need a new dress."

"You don't need a new dress, you want a new dress."

"That's very true. I have taught you well, young Padawan."

"Mom, I'm not a Jedi."

"Yet."