Friday, May 31, 2013


"Wow, Bob! You're doing the dishes? That's so nice of you."

"Sure, Mom. I'm just washing the tops though."

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Extreme Close Up

"Hi, Bob."


"Why are you so close to my face?"

"Is that a mosquito bite?"


"You have a bump on your face and a little hole. What's that hole?"

"Skin has lots of little holes all over it called pores."

"I bet that hole has alien babies in it."

Wednesday, May 29, 2013


"Mom? Will you keep me company while I take a bath?"

"Sure, Honey. Use that soap and washcloth on your face, please."

"Did you know Geon-Hee and I have almost the same tennis shoes?"

"I hadn't noticed that. Use that soap and washcloth on your face, please."

 "Mom, who's your favorite Jedi between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader?"

"Luke, I think. Use that soap and washcloth on your face, please."

"Mine's Darth because he's really Anakin Skywalker."

"Bob, will you please use that soap and washcloth on your face, please."

"What did you say?"

"Soap. Washcloth. Your face."

"Maybe next year for my birthday we could go to Lego Land?"

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Does This Rock Climbing Wall Make My Butt Look Big?

(Don't answer that.) In our continued quest for fun and adventure, my friend Nikki and I went indoor rock climbing. The climbing place was airport hangar-y and filled with climbing walls. Classic rock played loudly and as we got ready we heard both Stairway to Heaven and Freebird so that seemed like a good omen. We put on our borrowed climbing shoes and our instructor, Kevin strapped us into our harnesses. And then? We climbed up the walls. Straight up. Just when we thought we couldn't make it to the top, Kevin would talk us into going up farther than we knew we could.

We climbed for an hour and then we climbed a wall blindfolded. You heard me. Climbing was all-consuming, no way could I think of anything but where to put my foot next. It was more aerobic than I had anticipated: I was out of breath each time I got to the top of a wall. I worked up a sweat. Nikki and I were both sore all over before we even finished.

And it was fun, you guys. Mission accomplished.

We're trying to figure out what's next. Any ideas?

Monday, May 27, 2013

He Has Pet Plans

"What did you think of Jack's puppy party, Bob?"

"It was cool."

"Did it make you want a puppy?'

"No, but it made me think about when I grow up and I'm going to have an anaconda and two dogs and maybe a rat."

* * *

Remembering our fallen soldiers this Memorial Day.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Open House: A Review

"What was your favorite part of Open House, Bob?"

"I liked showing you guys all the books I made, and the farm, and being at school at night, and getting to eat dinner at the picnic tables, and playing with my friends on the big kids playground, and dancing with Desmond and Felix in the auditorium, and seeing the habitat projects in the first grade classrooms, and singing the May song, and it was all my favorite part."

Thursday, May 23, 2013

At the Fun Fair by Bob Rosenberg

"Last weekend was the Fun Fair. Mom was signed up to volunteer at the skeeball booth. When mom and me got to the skeeball booth, the lady who had been working there saw my mom and said, "Oh, thank God," like she was really happy to see her. The lady left super fast and then Marcy's mom, Miss Susan, came to help."

"They started taking tickets from the people and then the lady in the knock-down-the-clown booth next door asked Miss Susan to watch her booth while she took one of her little kids to the bathroom. And then Mom was by herself for a little while and then the lady came back and said she had to leave because her kid had the diarrhea. Miss Susan was stuck alone in the clown booth and mom was alone at skeeball and there were long lines of people."

"That's when I came in and helped Mom and I took over one of the skeeball lanes. I took tickets and kept score and gave out prize tickets and handed out the little animal erasers to the kids when they missed and everything. And I did it the whole time. The balls were going everywhere and kept going off the lanes and under the booth and outside in the alley and we would have to go get them and do it fast. We were sweating from how hot it was outside so dad brought us ice drinks."

"We worked for two hours and then another new lady came and it was time for us to leave and Mom said, "Oh, thank God." It was great.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Old School

"What are you crazy people doing in my bedroom?"

"We're having a pillow fight. Is that all right, Mom?'

"Sure, Bob."

"Good, because you know, in the olden days play-dates were all about pillow fights."

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Taking Charge

"Do you know where my shoes are?"

"I think I saw them under the big dinosaur on the playground, Desmond."

"Okay, Bob."

"I'll go with you, Desmond, because I'm the oldest."

Monday, May 20, 2013

If You Go to Your Cousin's Wedding by Bob Rosenberg

"If you go to your cousin's wedding your parents, mostly your mom, is going to make you wear dress up clothes: pants with dark socks and shiny shoes and a button shirt. There is another part you have to wear and that is a tie. The week before, you can clip the tie on to your t-shirts and wear it around the house for practice but when you wear it it's still kind of choking you a little, but don't worry, it's just pretend not real choking. Everyone is dressed up at the wedding, even your cousin Harry, not just you. Your dad also wears a tie and everything."

"There's the wedding part where your cousin wears a big white dress and does the marrying. There is Hebrew singing, Hebrew's another language, and everyone claps at the kissing part.

"There's two super fun parts at the wedding. There's a photo booth where you can wear hats and sunglasses and be a rockstar with your dad."

"Also there is a Michael Jackson impersonator who does singing to the Thriller song and everything. Your dad will take a picture with him and it will be so cool."

"You get to have orange juice with ice from a bar and bread rolls with your chicken dinner. There are sparkler sticks and you can hold one. It's all super good and it's a long walk back to the car and you will definitely fall asleep in the car on the way home. Definitely."

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Friday, May 17, 2013

Yes, a Jedi

"What are you going to do while I'm at school today, Mom?"

"I'm going to a lady store. I might need a new dress."

"You don't need a new dress, you want a new dress."

"That's very true. I have taught you well, young Padawan."

"Mom, I'm not a Jedi."


Thursday, May 16, 2013

1,460 Days

Four years ago today, I started Smacksy. I have posted something here every day since then. This simple action has caused a ripple effect in my life that I could have never imagined. I have made new friends, re-connected with old ones, updated extended family on our doings, and kept a family record of sorts. I have written a lot and that is something I love to do. I have gratitude for this place. And you guys. Especially you guys. Thank you. 

Four years has flown. There is no end in sight.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Scene From the Art Table

"Bob, you didn't make checks all the way down like you're supposed to."

"You're not the teacher Layla, you can't judge me."

"I'm not judging you, I'm telling you what I think you did that's wrong."

"That's what judging is, Layla."

"I'm just telling you."

"I know what you're telling me."

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I Beg to Differ

"Mom, when we get home I'm going to set up my clone army."

"When we get home I'm going to have a cup of coffee."

"You drink too much coffee, Mom."

"Why do you say that?"

"I just think it's too much."

"I think it's barely enough."

"You really need to make better choices."

Friday, May 10, 2013

Lego Logic

"We're on number three, Felix"

"No, we're on four."


"Four. This is the fourth bag, Bob."

"Oh, I thought we were talking about instruction manuals."

"We're talking about bags and we're on the fourth one."

"Okay but we're on the third manual. Where's the bag?"

"Where's the manual?"

 "This is the coolest set ever."

"I know."

Thursday, May 9, 2013


Meet Max Rosenberg, Bob's new beta fish. Or as Bob refers to him, "my new brother." Technically Max is a "Siamese Fighting Fish" but they're all goldfish to me. Max came to live with us on Bob's birthday and seemed to feel right at home in his Sponge Bob themed water condo.

Teddy enjoys sitting in front of the fishbowl, watching Max do his thing. Maybe they're bonding. Or Teddy's monitoring Max for future snacking purposes. I'm not clear on how the fish/dog relationship works.

Bob has a lot to say to Max, he's getting him up to speed on the family. Max is the silent type but I think he gets it.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Are We Having Fun Yet?

A few months ago Jeff asked me, “What do you do for fun?”

I stared back at him blankly while I scanned my life for the fun stuff.

“I like to read?” It was a question.

“You mean for your book clubs? Isn’t that more like homework?”

“Getting together for the actual club part is fun and sometimes I like the books.”

“Uh huh.”

“I like to travel.” There I had one.

“When’s the last time you did that?”

“Okay maybe not that but... We went to that Prince concert that time.”

“How many years ago?”

I knew what he was getting at. Of course there was joy in my life every day: Watching Bob play Little League, volunteering in the kindergarten classroom, family time with the guys. But I couldn’t think of the last time I had fun for the sake of fun. I was quickly becoming aware that I had become a person with no hobbies and no interests. Watching episodes of “Elementary” and buying vintage linens on Ebay didn’t really count as “hobbies.” Thank God my days of trying to sound exciting in an online dating profile were far in the past.

I asked some of my mom friends what they did for fun and was met by either blank stares or laughter or both.

“I got a massage a couple of months ago,” Elise said. We decided that this was more of a medical necessity than actual fun.

“I got to see part of a movie awhile back,” said Cindy. “But then the sitter called and we had to leave early because Dylan threw up.”

We were a fun-less group. It was time to go looking for the fun.

This is how I found myself contra dancing last month, an activity that has nothing to offer but fun. Then Jeff and Bob and I went to the pier and rode the Ferris Wheel: So much fun. Two weeks ago my friend Nikki and I took a morning boat to Catalina Island and went ziplining. The whole day trip was designed for fun and it delivered. Zipping through the canyon at 30 miles an hour, I thought – Yes. More of this.

We are currently planning our next adventure: belay rock climbing. I had to Google “belay.” It has something to do with a harness and someone not letting you fall off a wall. And it sounds fun.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Muscle Men

"Look, Felix. This mini-figure has muscles and a six pack."

"Do you have a six-pack, Bob?'

"Sort of one because I do gymnastics. Do you?"

"Yeah, I have a tiny six-pack from being good at monkey bars."

Monday, May 6, 2013

Now He Is Seven

Bob had two requests for his birthday. He asked that we have the party at the indoor playground at the mall, and he asked that we have a theme. At first he thought he would like the theme to be his favorite show, "Sponge Bob Square Pants." After much consideration he finally decided the theme should be his favorite band, Black Sabbath. Related: There is no Black Sabbath aisle at Party City.

Bob helped put together a playlist of his favorite songs to make into CDs for party favors. Bob's musical tastes lean heavy into the 1978.

 Bob's godmother also made these rad chocolate guitars to give out.

Kids arrived and did things in this thing.

Party Room B was decorated.

The cupcakes were unpacked.

Mr. Rosenberg and his friend, Mr. Kwong, donned wigs and played "Iron Man" and "Happy Birthday." Party Room B has never rocked so hard.

No, that's actually not Howard Stern, but rather a quite fetching Mr. Rosenberg.

A number seven candle was blown out by the birthday boy.

Bob said it was his best party ever. And I didn't even have to wear my Princess Leia costume.

Friday, May 3, 2013


"Mom, do you know the Don't Step On a Crack game?"

"What are the rules?"

"The rules are that you don't step on any cracks. And if you do you lose."


"Mom? I'm pretty sure we'll never make it across the street."

Thursday, May 2, 2013


"Mom, today was awesome."

"I'm so glad, Honey."

"I mean really, really awesome like seventh best day of my life awesome."

"That does sounds great."

"But after my birthday on Sunday and the farm field trip on Friday it might get knocked down two, but for now it's definitely seventh best."

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

I Only Know Yoda

"See this character, Mom? This is Chi Eekway Papanoida. She's a senator from Pantora, the moon of Orto Poltunia. She wears a cloak covered in Wroonian healing stones. She was an advisor to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine during the Clone Wars. Did you get that?"