Monday, September 16, 2019

The Show



From the outside, it looks like any other nondescript building on York Avenue. I give my name to the woman at the card table and she checks me off the list. A dark entry gives way to a shadowy, cavernous room filled with people. On the left, there’s a wall of weathered, fabric faces like the kind you try to knock down with a bean bag at a carnival. Next to the wall sits a three-foot wide orb of chewed gum shrouded in plastic wrap. The gum balances atop a delicate multi-layered fringe-work of silver gum wrappers.

It’s a hot night in Highland Park and even hotter inside this warehouse of curiosities. More than once, I glance up to see what’s dripping on me and discover it’s just my own sweat running in rivulets down my scalp. The crowd is too close. I bump into a pillar made of wigs.

Chandeliers of buttons and shells cascade from the ceiling. My purse gets caught in an amorphous sculpture made of silver beaded bracelets.
I turn too quickly and bump into a tall wooden box adorned with a grid of human teeth. “Look Dad, this one has a cavity,” says the kid standing next to me. “Looks like more than one,” says his dad.

The heat and the people and the art objects give me a feeling of being underwater, suffocated. I want to be one of those cool types who understands modern art, really gets it. I know I’m supposed to feel something, something besides heat stroke and the need for a Xanax.
I am so god damned hot. My mind races. What if I died here? “Her dehydrated body was found slumped against a wall made of toy pianos. She died of art.”



Sunday, September 15, 2019

Friday, September 13, 2019

Half of 110




Well, today's the day. I'm 55-years-old, or as I'm choosing to think of it, half of 110. My hours are often filled with a rolling mental gratitude list of all the events, large and tiny, good and unexpected, strung together to make up my days. Blessings all. Today especially, I am enjoying Mr. Rosenberg's consistent reminder of the 1984 Sammy Hagar classic, I Can't Drive 55.  One foot on the break and one on the gas, hey! And so that's my plan, one foot on the break and one on the gas. Just keep moving forward, headed to 110. I'm half way there.








Thursday, September 12, 2019

The Silent Treatment


I left the house for a few hours. Before leaving, I closed the door to Bob's room because Teddy has a tendency to barf on Bob's bed. (I don't know why either.) When I returned home, I realized I had inadvertently locked Ted IN Bob's room. (He did not barf.) When I let him out, he ran straight to the couch and curled up in a ball. He did not say "hi." He did not make eye contact, and wouldn't wag his tail at me. He kept this up for over an hour, stopping only for a brief cookie break, then right back to the silent treatment. That'll teach me.





Practice


Huddling up under a pink sky.





Monday, September 9, 2019

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Smacksy Sunday Links


Ways to find more time in your busy life.

Whole moments.

In the time you spend on social media each year, you could read 200 books.

This exquisite southern time capsule.

And this little bat, h/t Mary Laura.

Happy Sunday.





Smacksy Saturday Photo: This Guy


When Bob's friend Felix was over after school the other day, the guys sat down to do homework. later, I was straightening up the kitchen table and found this. A Felix special.


Friday, September 6, 2019

A Thing I Made


I made this thing.


Who's With Me?


I was a little frazzled running around this morning. While in RiteAid I took some time to calm myself in the best aisle in any store, the back-to-school/office supplies area. I had no intention of buying anything, I just wanted to soak up the ballpoint pens and spiral notebooks and multi-colored Post-It notes.
It totally worked.

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Gaming


Bob and his old pal Felix, playing teenager games. 


Locked


Bob needed a new lock for his school locker. He requested "the kind without numbers but has the round thing that moves around in the middle." He was referring to the Master Lock Speed Dial. I picked one up at the hardware store. I told him I'd get it out of the packaging while he was getting ready for school. Getting it out of the packaging required retrieving the instructions and combination from deep inside a plastic cavity in the housing of the display box. There was no way I was going to figure this out before he left for school. I was in way over my head.

I tried using scissors to open the plastic door in the package without success. I tried jamming it with a flathead screw driver which served to only seal it tighter. I passed it along to Mr. Rosenberg before I injured myself and he successfully opened it with a pair of kitchen shears. This lock was already too much trouble for something that says "Easy" on the label.

Picture a montage: Me trying to read microscopic instructions with reading glasses under a strong light. Me trying and failing to open the lock with the combination. Me trying to reset combination by "simply" moving the tiny lever on the back of the lock. Me attempting to dislodge tiny lever with a Phillips head screw driver. Me attempting to dislodge tiny lever with a Phillips head screw driver and a hammer. Me driving to Ace Hardware while muttering to myself. Me exchanging the blue lock for a new red lock.

And then, the hero shot:


Please notice how unlocked I got it.
Wednesday was a long day.





Monday, September 2, 2019

The Rosenberg Family Summer Book Club


This summer, the guys and I tried something new. In June, we started the inaugural year of The Annual Rosenberg Family Summer Book Club. After asking for ideas from my crew over on Facebook, I narrowed it down to a few titles and let Bob pick the title, The Pitcher and the Dictator, Satchel Paige's Unlikely Season in the Dominican Republic. We each got a copy of the book and the three of us had two months to read it.

Right after school started, we had our meeting over dinner at Souplantation. Over unlimited soup and salad, we discussed what we found interesting about the book. It was a little heavy on game play-by-play for me, but that was Bob's favorite part. Mr. Rosenberg and I were into the history. We all enjoyed the blueberry muffins. It was a good time.

I'm looking forward to our next summer book club already.