In the Carpool

"Mom? In the carpool we were talking about inappropriate super powers again and Shelby's dad said he would want to have farts that are so disgusting, he could take someone down with them. I told him my dad already has that super power."

Defined

"Mom? What's 'mojo'?"

"Mojo is a quality that makes a person awesome."

"Oh, right. I've got lots of that."

That's My Boy

"Wow! Wow! Wow! Did you see that, Felix? Did you see that?"

"Hey, Bob. I think you need to switch to decaf."

"What's decaf?"

Eight Reasons I'm Renewing My Vows

When Mr. Rosenberg and I met, everything happened in a single breath. One year from our first date, we were married, with a baby on the way. We eloped in Las Vegas and had a small party at our house a few weeks later to celebrate. That was ten years ago. In a few weeks we will be celebrating with a vow renewal in front of 150 of our favorite people. It will look remarkably similar to a wedding, except we're already married. Why are we doing this?

I've been married twice before. Jeff has not. It's his turn to have the wedding experience. There will be a new suit, a boutonierre, shiny church shoes, and a cake to cut.

We will get to include our son, Bob. The vow renewal is a rededication of our love for each other as a couple, but more than that, it's an expression of love between the three of us.

After being together so long, his friends and family have become mine, and mine his. It's a celebration of all of us - the family we were born with and the family of friends we have chosen.

When we eloped, our vows were heartfelt, but extemporaneous. This time we will get to think about them before hand. We will renew the old (I will try to become more of a morning person), and add some new (I will never make you go to Costco alone.)

There will be dancing. I often say I have never seen Mr. Rosenberg dance, I've only seen him silly dancing to be funny. He says that IS what his real dancing looks like. We shall see. Any excuse to dance is a good one.

Ten years ago, I did not feel comfortable asking my friends and family to attend wedding number three. I didn't want "Lisa's Weddings" to start feeling like an annual event. This marriage stuck. It's a reason to celebrate.

It's a wedding without the Bride Crazy. There have been no bridal magazines purchased, there were no cake tastings, and there is no color theme. There is one Pinterest board dedicated to the event, but that's it. Pretty much. So far.

It's romantic. Not that Bob's soccer games and our family trips to Trader Joe's aren't romantic in their own way, but this will lift us out of the everyday and remind us how fortunate we are to have this life we've put together.

Do I think the evening will be a night to remember? I do.

FYI

"If I had an inappropriate superpower, I would want the ability to pee fire."

Smacksy Sunday Links

Mindful reminders that will put your soul at ease.

He accidentally inherited a stranger's entire home.

And a chameleon named Laura who likes to pop bubbles.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Minecraft World Planning Meeting

At the frozen yogurt place, of course.

The Big Questions

"Hey Bob? If you could be any kind of undersea animal what would you be?"

"Probably a cookie cutter shark. What about you, Felix?"

"I think an octopus."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Like That Guy

"See that guy up there, Mom? That's the haircut I want."

"The guy with the soccer mullet?"

"It's called a 'faux-hawk' and they're epically cool. A bunch of guys I know have them."

"I thought those boys' heads were shaved because they had lice."

"Yeah, but it still looks really cool."

On the Way to the Game

"Did you see that, Bob? The parking cost $30. and I only had $15. so the guy let us just pay what we had and let us in for half the price."

"That's so nice."

"It is. Looks like your mom's still got it."

"Or maybe he knew you were fifty-years old so he gave you a senior citizens discount."

He's Having a Staring Contest

But with who?

Important Q & A

"Mom, I'm really, really sorry to interrupt you and Dad but I have important questions."

"What's that, Bob?"

"Was your dad Basque?"

"Some, yes. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering. Also did you know birds are actually dinosaurs? I learned that at the museum today."

Smacksy Sunday Links

Three mantras to get you through anything.

How to break out of a couch-potato rut.

Alton Brown's mustard caddy. Possibly life changing.

And baby bats.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Brooklyn Bridge Bob

Seeing the sights.

B-O-B, N-Y-C

"Mom? You know what we're called when we're visiting New York City?"

"Tourists?"

"No, New Yorkans. Pretty sure."

To Mr. Rosenberg on the Occasion of Our Tenth Wedding Anniversary

Dear Mr. Rosenberg,

Meeting you was the first date that changed my life.  I had no idea that below-par sushi and a ride in an old minivan would be so monumental.  You are tall, dark and handsome, but also sweet, goofy, and smart: the whole package.

You have never let our ten-year age gap get in our way, even though I got sober the same year you had your bar mitzvah.  You are also accepting of my shoddy credit rating, and two previous marriages. You embrace me with all of my life-luggage and never try to change me, but you are happy to support me when I want to change myself.

One month after we were married, we found out I was pregnant, and you were thrilled. You didn’t care that what would traditionally have been our honeymoon phase was filled with my morning sickness and a bed taken over by oddly shaped body pillows. I felt nauseated and bloated and you told me I was beautiful.

You worried about being a good dad. You worried that the skin-to-skin contact that the doctor said we should have with the baby might not work with you because you had so much chest hair. You worried that he was too warm, too cold, too hungry, too tired, too fussy. You worried. And you fell in love with our son.

When you were touring with the band, you kept to your promise to never be away from us for more than five days. Often, you took us with you. We are your favorite people, and you treat us just like that. 

You are passing along to Bob your gentle way with animals and your passion for music and numbers and books. You show him that working hard at your job is a way to demonstrate your love for your family. You have taught him that it’s almost never the wrong time for the underpants dance. You are the perfect dad for Bob.

You are always on my side, even when I’m not. You did not see the inside of our new house that I picked out until we had already been in escrow for more than a week. You drink the tepid half cups of coffee I leave around the house so I don’t feel guilty about wasting when I make a new cup. We don’t argue much, but when we do, you are fair and always the first to make up.

You grew a beard when I asked, even though you thought you would look like Shel Silverstein. (And you did.) You are patient with my backseat driving.  You pull our dog into your lap every morning and whisper good things to him. You remember to celebrate all of the milestones. You love my friends and family as your own.

These last ten years have been excellent ones. 

You are the kindest man I know. I am so proud and happy to be your wife.

Happy Anniversary.

Love,

Mrs. Rosenberg

The Authors

"Look, Felix. I think I'm all done. Here's the last page of my book where Pradu comes back to his alien planet."

"You're not done, Bob."

"Why?"

"Because the picture should show all the other aliens he's coming home to. They can look like him but be different colors."

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

"I know."

Volunteered

"So Felix, I told our Write Your Own Book teacher that my mom is a real writer who's in books and everything and that I think she should come in and help the class. The teacher said okay so my mom's coming tomorrow."

"That's good."

"Yeah, and did you know Sponge Bob Moves In is my favorite video game of the week?"

"That's good."

"And also I'm thirsty."

Good Morning

A small, early morning work-break moment with the guys. 

Smacksy Sunday Links

When to walk away and start something new.

Watch my friend Elizabeth read a beautiful essay she wrote for Listen to Your Mother: Austin.

Cait tells about her year-long shopping ban.

And a dog, 8 birds, and a hamster who are all friends.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: The Pass

Got it. 

By Popular Demand: The Ted Haircut

The handsome summer hairdo. 

Teddy, feet forever in second position. 

(But number one in our hearts. Awwwww.)

Dogscaping

Someone doesn't know it yet, but he's headed to the beauty parlor today. 

My Life in Hairstyles

My friend Nancy suggested that a few of us blog-types get together and do posts today about our life journey through the histories of our hair. Of course I was all in. Following, is my own life in hairstyles. Self indulgent? Maybe. Horrifying? Totally. Once you see these photos, they cannot be unseen. You have been warned.

Baby Me. I was born with a lot of hair. A LOT OF HAIR. I couldn't sit up yet but I was already sporting a side part. Sometimes I wore a bow taped to my head. On my second birthday, my mom put me in curlers so I could look fancy.

Kindergarten. My part was moved to the middle. So were my eyebrows.

Second Grade. The classic pig tail look. Now, if I were to wear pigtails, it would be crazy old lady territory.

Sixth Grade. Please reflect on this look for a moment. It will return. Not soon enough.

Seventh Grade. I call this look The Mushroom, for obvious reasons. I blame Dorothy Hamill and her people. Unibrow in full effect.

Ninth Grade. Part back on the side. Tweezers have at last been in use. Somewhat. Sort of.

Tenth Grade. What the actual hell? Rosanne Roseanadanna or just a pyramid riding on my head? You be the judge.

Early 80s. Why does it look like I am wearing a small black hair hat? IT'S CALLED FASHION. Soon after this, I had half of my head shaved in a small apartment kitchen in West Hollywood by a waiter I worked the lunch shift with at The Red Onion. I believe he used some type of dog shears. Thank the good, sweet Lord that no pictures exist of that particular hairstyle.

Mid-80s. Suddenly, I'm really embracing my Latina roots. I don't think my mood was really that serious, I think my brow shape just gave me that bad smell look on my face. Ay, Dios mio.

Early 90s. That perm took over 100 rods and six hours to create. In this photo, it is sitting on top of my shoulder pads, giving it even more volume. The faux-hawk guy is Kevin. Hi, Kevin.

Early 90s. So much HAIR. So much BROWS. So much LIPS. This photo is a Polaroid taken at the casting office where I worked. I had a red Jeep, a big black dog, and a SAG card. I WAS the 90s.

Mid-90s. Me with some Van Halens. This was during the Sammy Hagar years so it doesn't really count. My hair was shorter in length, but not necessarily smaller in volume. 

2001. One of those times I got married. I was a princess, ladies and gentlemen. With the help of my friend Maria, the purchase of a straightening iron, and a Japanese straight perm procured in a sketchy salon in deepest Korea Town, my hair-life changed. 

Early 2000s. I'm one pukka shell necklace away from my 6th grade hair. Straight. One length. And there it has stayed. And stayed. And stayed. It looked like this in 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 and...

Now.


Take the rest of the hair tour by checking out these fine ladies:

Ann’s Rants

Up Popped a Fox

The Flying Chalupa

Good Day, Regular People

Midlife Mixtape

They Made a Pizza

"It looks really good, Felix."

"You don't think the cheese is looking too brown?"

"Yeah, but it's probably all cheesy under the brown part."

"Like gooey and everything?"

"Yeah."

"We could totally work at the pizza place, Bob."

"Yeah."

Way In

"Mom? It's already way into July."

"It is."

"Summer's going fast."

"That's true."

"How can we slow it down?"

Smacksy Sunday Links

David Foster Wallace's creative non-fiction class syllabus.

25 women on the best advice they ever got.

NYC neon of the 40s and 50s.

And a man serenading cattle with his trombone.

Happy Sunday.

The 4th

Getting ready for the Pancake Breakfast at the firehouse-riding bikes and funny dad dancing in the parade-BBQ with Felix-fireworks at the high school-4th of July situation. Independence Day.

In the Closet

Like everyone and their Aunt Brenda, I just read the best seller The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I've been reevaluating my possessions. Last month I also read Jennifer L. Scott's Madame Chic books. These books are her take on of how to finally get your life together. I didn't quite realize just how blown apart everything had gotten until I looked around our place through the lens of these books. Inspired,  I have recently taken three station wagons full of stuff that doesn't "spark joy" to be donated and thrown out at least that amount. So far.

As you may know, The Family Rosenberg live in an 864 sq ft house, although it doesn't feel small to me, until we start talking closets. Mr. Rosenberg and I share one tiny closet. Very small. Like four and a half feet of hanging space to split, small. That's two feet three inches each, and those three inches are important. We jockey for that space in the middle of the closet every day. I'm continuing to thin the clothing herd in hopes that we can lighten the closet pole before it breaks in half from the weight of our wardrobes.

Next up, Bob's room - big job. And then next, next up, THE GARAGE - an even bigger job. I am spilling this all here to use you, my friends, for accountability. I've done this garage clean out before but now we're talking about a ruthless-mega-clean out. The kind that would make Marie Kondo and Jennifer L. Williams proud.

Watch this space.

Lookout

"Bob?"

"Yeah?"

"What's up?"

"I'm just watching."

Wednesday

"Mom? Wednesdays are good. Especially today. There's summer school and then the Angels game with Dad and Felix and probably some good snacks there. And it's hot. And muggy. And summer-y. And good."