Wednesday, July 8, 2015

My Life in Hairstyles

My friend Nancy suggested that a few of us blog-types get together and do posts today about our life journey through the histories of our hair. Of course I was all in. Following, is my own life in hairstyles. Self indulgent? Maybe. Horrifying? Totally. Once you see these photos, they cannot be unseen. You have been warned.



Baby Me. I was born with a lot of hair. A LOT OF HAIR. I couldn't sit up yet but I was already sporting a side part. Sometimes I wore a bow taped to my head. On my second birthday, my mom put me in curlers so I could look fancy.



Kindergarten. My part was moved to the middle. So were my eyebrows.




Second Grade. The classic pig tail look. Now, if I were to wear pigtails, it would be crazy old lady territory.



Sixth Grade. Please reflect on this look for a moment. It will return. Not soon enough.




Seventh Grade. I call this look The Mushroom, for obvious reasons. I blame Dorothy Hamill and her people. Unibrow in full effect.



Ninth Grade. Part back on the side. Tweezers have at last been in use. Somewhat. Sort of.



Tenth Grade. What the actual hell? Rosanne Roseanadanna or just a pyramid riding on my head? You be the judge.



Early 80s. Why does it look like I am wearing a small black hair hat? IT'S CALLED FASHION. Soon after this, I had half of my head shaved in a small apartment kitchen in West Hollywood by a waiter I worked the lunch shift with at The Red Onion. I believe he used some type of dog shears. Thank the good, sweet Lord that no pictures exist of that particular hairstyle.



Mid-80s. Suddenly, I'm really embracing my Latina roots. I don't think my mood was really that serious, I think my brow shape just gave me that bad smell look on my face. Ay, Dios mio.




Early 90s. That perm took over 100 rods and six hours to create. In this photo, it is sitting on top of my shoulder pads, giving it even more volume. The faux-hawk guy is Kevin. Hi, Kevin.



Early 90s. So much HAIR. So much BROWS. So much LIPS. This photo is a Polaroid taken at the casting office where I worked. I had a red Jeep, a big black dog, and a SAG card. I WAS the 90s.



Mid-90s. Me with some Van Halens. This was during the Sammy Hagar years so it doesn't really count. My hair was shorter in length, but not necessarily smaller in volume. 



2001. One of those times I got married. I was a princess, ladies and gentlemen. With the help of my friend Maria, the purchase of a straightening iron, and a Japanese straight perm procured in a sketchy salon in deepest Korea Town, my hair-life changed. 



Early 2000s. I'm one pukka shell necklace away from my 6th grade hair. Straight. One length. And there it has stayed. And stayed. And stayed. It looked like this in 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 and...



Now.


Take the rest of the hair tour by checking out these fine ladies:





41 comments:

  1. I had that white blouse with the black embroidery, Lisa. And I LOVED it. Great post, great hair history, this was so much fun.

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    1. That blouse was my favorite! Thanks, Alexandra. xoxo

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  2. You remind me so much of Julianna Margolies ...so much. You're beautiful, in every single style. :)

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  3. I didn't think I could admire your hair any more than I already did! Outstanding!

    XO
    A.

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  4. Heavens to Betsy you are gorgeous - at all ages and sizes of eyebrows.

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    1. Becky - I thank you, and my Tweezerman™ tweezers thank you. xoxoxo

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  5. The Rosanne Rosanneadanna nearly killed me. Too funny. And that last pic is gorgeous!

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    1. Thanks, Vikki. You are not alone, my Roseanne R nearly killed many people. xoxoxo

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  6. Someone else must have had that pyramid too... Thanks for the journey - it was great! And you are gorgeous!

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    1. Thanks, Agnes. All hail the great pyramid! xoxo

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  7. Please tell me you were playing the Gin Blossoms in that red Jeep. I mean, if you're going to BE the 90s, be the 90s. #HeyJealousyOfYourHair

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    1. Totally Gin Blossoms. And My Bloody Valentine. And Mazzy Star. And - xoxoxo

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  8. Ha Ha! I still fight the battle against triangular hair. Loved this post. Is Kevin accepting friend requests? :)

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  9. We had matching Dorothy Hamills. Which is to say neither of us had a Dorothy Hamill. Love this.

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  10. I laughed so loud at "What the actual hell?", that my husband looked up from his phone. Generally, my husband doesn't look up from his phone unless I'm spurting blood from an artery, so good job.

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  11. Damn, you are funny!

    One slight correction: The Hagar years did *so* count; hence, the moniker Van Hagar.

    Gm.

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    1. P.S. I just discovered Tweezerman® this week! From my wife...who gently advised the following: (1) stay away from hers and (2) use them on my ears and nose.

      Gm.

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  12. Just like I remember you in 5th &6th grade xo

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  13. The Mushroom is my favorite. Will you be bringing it back soon?

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  14. These photos! I can't get enough of them.

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  15. So glamorous! I love that your hair is longer than Eddie's in the Van Halen pic. And yes, I too blame Dorothy and her people. She ruined my life when I was 11. ;)

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    1. I think we could get together a class action suit against her. xoxo

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  16. So much insomnia; so much laughter. This was brilliant, Lisa.

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  17. How do you keep your hair so straight? It looks FANTASTIC! Would love a products used / products loathed update.

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    1. Thanks! I get it blown out straight. She finishes it with a straightening iron. Not a lot of product. My hair is pretty heavy and I think the weight helps. xo

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