Wednesday, September 30, 2015

The Change

There's a pet store on Robertson Boulevard with the unfortunate name, "Many Paws." Say it out loud. You see what I mean. Mr. Rosenberg never fails to point this store out as we drive by, "I'm going through Many Paws!" Oh, how we'd laugh. Until now.

Friends? Many Paws is here.

Heralded by sudden weight gain, mood swings, irritability, sleep disruption, fatigue, hot flashes, and night sweats, the whole glamorous package has arrived. I have always pictured this happening when I was older, meaning sometime in the future, meaning never. AARP is knocking at my door, I hear my prom theme on the oldies station, and I qualify for the "senior discount" on Tuesdays at the outlet mall, but this is different. Now, my own body is working against me. Come on, man. We had a deal.

Yes, I am grateful to have made it this far in life. And yes, this is a natural season of being a healthy woman. Still, growing older is weird and I have an inability to differentiate between hormone fluctuation anxiety blah blah and the good old-fashioned "mean reds." And yes, "mean reds" is an old reference. What the sweet Mary is going on here?

My doctor let me know that because I'm going through the "change of life," my daily multi-vitamin must now be of the"silver" variety. This pleases me not. I suppose you could call all of this an acceptance problem.

I get that change is the only constant, but this change of life is difficult. I have a kid in third grade, why am I feeling like a grandma? I remember graduating from Elle Magazine to More Magazine - for the over forty-set. What do the over-fifties get? The decidedly un-sexy Reader's Digest and a magazine actually called, Good Old Days.

I have always loved the saying, "Let go or be dragged." I know I need to face reality, follow my body's direction and just let go of the youthful side of fifty. Aging does have its perks. The handiest being that the older and wiser thing is a cliche because it's true. I feel wiser and wise enough to recognize that today's now is a good now.

Paula Pell wrote, "I'm going to stop telling people my age and just let my free coffee at McDonalds tell the story." The change has arrived and I'm not going to argue with free coffee.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

In There

"Mom? In my imagination there's a whole planet full of stuff including a car made out of chocolate and you know those candies made out of wax that are in the shape of soda bottles and they have sugar water in them? The chocolate cars run on those instead of gas. It's pretty awesome."

Monday, September 28, 2015


"Mom? The coach's accent is cool. He calls us 'good lads.' When we miss a goal he says, 'Unlucky!' He's awesome. I'm totally going to be British when I grow up."

Friday, September 25, 2015

How to Get Me to Work Out in 16 Easy Steps

What you have to do to get me to work out:

  1. You will meet me at four-years-old in Sunday School in San Jose, California.
  2. A few years later, after I move 38 miles away to Clubhouse Drive in the small town of Aptos, you will also move to Clubhouse Drive in Aptos.
  3. You will recognize me on the playground and become my friend and we will know all of each other's stuff.
  4. In seventh grade we will share a locker and get matching Dorothy Hammil haircuts.
  5. We will play identical twin spies in a junior high play called Airport Adventure.
  6. In high school, we will be cheerleaders together.
  7. You will become a dancer and travel the world and I will work in TV in Los Angeles and we will keep up with each other on the phone.
  8. You will move to Studio City and I will live 19 miles away in West Hollywood.
  9. We will be in each other's weddings.
  10. We will work together in television.
  11. You will always remember my birthday.
  12. You will  become an outstanding Pilates trainer and open a lovely Pilates studio in Burbank.
  13. I will show up weekly and hand you a Starbuck's tall vanilla latte and we will chat.
  14. During said chat, you will kick my butt with Pilates and I will barely notice because I'm too busy talking and drinking coffee.
  15. I will be sore the next day and we will still know all of each other's stuff.
  16. You will be awesome and you will be Kim Harris.
Me, quietly cursing while proving I have a core.

Thursday, September 24, 2015


Ted stares out the window every morning watching Mr. Rosenberg leave for work.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Johnny Appleseed

"Bob? Desmond? Did you guys know that in a couple days it's Johnny Appleseed Day?"


"Yep. We read about it."

"He planted apple seeds everywhere and he also had a wolf that he saved out of a trap and then nursed back to health. The appleseeds are okay, but the wolf is the awesome part."


"I totally want a wolf."

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


"Look what I found, Mom! It's a happy smiling guy! I found it just like this! It's a reminder from the world to be happy!"

Monday, September 21, 2015

Bah De Yah

Photo, Katie Eastburn

Do you remember the 21st night of September?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away
- September, Earth Wind and Fire

Eleven years ago tonight, I met Mr. Rosenberg. And everything changed.

Happy First-Date-Iversary to my sweetheart.
Thank you for the best eleven years of my life and for teaching me how to be happy.
You are my favorite.
Mrs. Rosenberg

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Friday, September 18, 2015

It's On

Banner Update: We dropped off the banner at the park for the judging. Right after Teddy climbed up and sat down on it. 

Thursday, September 17, 2015


"Mom? I'm thinking of trading my Ronaldo card with Dylan for his Tom Brady card. Is that okay?"

"Aren't they different sports? I thought you didn't collect football cards."

"I know but I like to be prepared."

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Okay, Then

"Are the three of you done with your homework?"


"I'm done."

"What about you, Desmond?"

"Can you check mine?"


"I mean you can check it if you want to but I'll still have my parents check it too because, you know. It's math and everything. and you're, you know."

Monday, September 14, 2015

The Year 5776/The Year 51

This year, the first day of Rosh Hashana ראש השנה was the same day as my birthday. For me, starting these two new beginnings at the same time calls for extra reflection, extra resolution, and extra celebration. I found this prayer by Marianne Williamson that embodies all of that for me.

New Year's prayers carry more miraculous power than do New Year's resolutions. Forgiving ourselves and others for the casual unkindness of an unconscious moment; for time wasted in self-pity that could have been used to create something true and beautiful; for lack of gratitude for blessings and privileges. Dedicating ourselves to the purification of our hearts... seeking to stop the chronic indulgence of our weakness, and the power to embody our God-given strengths... I pray to embody the perfection of my divine potential, as a blessing on myself and others. 

This is the moment of the years when we inhabit inwardly both sunset and sunrise. God created them both, but we ourselves decide how to paint them. Next year will bring whatever next years brings, but what we bring to it will make all the difference. And the greatest thing we can bring to it is our love.
- Marianne Williamson

L'Shana Tova, everyone. Happy New Year.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Smacksy Sunday Links

The myth of quality time.

101 physical things that can be reduced in your home. Great list.

Do you have your Shit Together?

Amazing statues you can only see at low tide.

And a goose parade.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Friday, September 11, 2015

On This National Day of Rememberance

The wonderful Melissa Wells keeps a heartbreaking and lovely tradition on her blog. On September 11, she seeks to learn more about the people who were lost on that terrible day. I am following her lead. 

Donna Marie Rothenberg
Here is what the New York Times wrote about Donna who worked for AON Corp in WTC 2. 
"As a birthday present a decade ago, a friend placed an inquiry in  a New York magazine, seeking a proper suitor for Donna Rothenberg, a widow in her early 40s. A gentleman named Edward Schmall responded with a letter carefully crafted to attract her interest. It changed his life. When Ms. Rothenberg eventually moved into Mr. Schmall's apartment in the flatiron district, she brought more than two cats. She brought wonderful experiences from having lived in Europe, Asia, and South America. She brought a gift for cooking. She brought a zest for life that was reflected in her colorful wardrobe. 'She wasn't somebody who wore a lot of black,' remembered her cousin Susan Sullivan. She also brought the reassurance that she would be there for crisis small and large, from Mr. Schmall's battle against smoking to his sudden collapse in California. Ms. Rothenberg, a global personal affairs executive for the Aon Corporation, was 53 when she died, and the man she met through a personal ad so long ago struggles to reconcile his blessing and his loss. 'What I couldn't do, she did well; what I did well, she did better.' he said. 'She filled in all my gaps.'"

Thursday, September 10, 2015

My Real Midlife

Laugh now, lady. But you are headed for crisis number one.

At twenty-six I had my first adult "life crisis." I had dropped out of college. I worked a variety of jobs with no real career in sight. My relationships were unstable and I had the habit of moving apartments every six months to a year. I had no car and no savings and I had fuzzy goals, at best. I had three years of sobriety under my belt but it was messy. Barely half-way through my twenties and I felt like I had already wasted my life.

At thirty-seven I had another "life crisis." I was twice divorced. I was running out of money, and with the desire to have a child, I was running out of time. I moved again, finally landing in a single in an ancient six-story apartment building with an ever-broken elevator. I worked. I put dating on hold for a few years. I had goals, but I had no clear path for reaching them. My life felt nothing like I wanted it to and I felt like I was losing time.

On Sunday I will turn fifty-one-years-old. Because I expect to live to at least 102, right this moment, is mid-life. Just ripe for another crisis. My forties were fantastic and difficult and exciting and disappointing and life-y and yet? No crisis now. What has changed? I am having a sweet life, but that is not the difference. The difference of course is me.

In the past few years, I have given up the belief that my real life will happen "someday."  This is it. That was "it" at twenty-six and thirty-seven too but I didn't understand that yet. Now, I don't expect some faraway life to be trouble free and and tidy and well rested with the windows shiny and all of the dry-cleaning picked up. I have stopped moving the prize ahead of myself. The goal is not out there, the goal is now. Even if it's sometimes hard, that counts too.

The story of how I got here is now just that, a story. Trying to look too far into the future is pointless because I have learned that I have absolutely no idea how this is all going to go down. It's all so painfully obvious.

I couldn't be there then, but I can be here now. Here I am. At fifty-one.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Behind the Door

"So, Felix? I got to go inside the teacher's lounge today."

"Wow. I've never been in there. I've always pictured it being all lit up by candles with a big pretend dragon head coming out of the wall and bean bag chairs in the corners and a long golden table with a buffet with every different kind of fancy food. Does it look like that?"

"Well... it does have a table."

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

¡Viva Argentina!

I'm not a crafty person. I admire crafty people and I like to send them money for their wares on Etsy. Bob wears beautiful handmade Halloween costumes every year lovingly crafted by his Godmother, Jen. Mr. Rosenberg helps when Bob has challenging arts and crafts homework. I can only help a craft look like it's been homemade by a third grader. That's right at my skill level.

This season I am team mom for Bob's soccer team. The kids have chosen the name "Argentina" for the team. Their uniforms resemble Argentina's football team uniform, and Argentina is the home of every boy's favorite player, Lionel Messi.

At the start of each soccer season, each team is required to submit a homemade team banner for the banner competition. In years past, there has always been an artistic and crafty mom on our team who volunteered to make the banner. Not so this year. I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this.

I will be making our team banner.

I spent the morning at the craft store buying 8 million pieces of felt.  I bought PVC pipe. I threw some glitter in the basket. I bought a glue gun. I BOUGHT A GLUE GUN.

I have nine days to make this Argentina banner happen.
I will be crafting.
And it will be glorious.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Friday, September 4, 2015

Paper Boy

"Did you see that one, Mom? That's me, if I was made out of torn paper... and I was just a head... stuck to a wall.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Would You Rather

"Okay, Mom. It's Would You Rather."


"Would you rather... work really, really, really hard in a factory making soccer trading cards OR have another son?"

"Wow. That's a big question. What do you think I should say?"

"I'd say the factory. I like being an only child and I could get all my soccer cards for free."

"Yes, I suppose that would work out nicely for you."

"It's a good one, right?"

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

The Puppy Cure

The antidote to a pounding headache? This face and dog breath and dog kisses. (I'm not calling it a migraine because it feels like a migraine and I don't want a migraine.) It's the Teddy Rx.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Happy Customers

You know I don't do paid advertising on Smacksy, but occasionally I will tell you guys about something or someone awesome that I really like. And I really like photographer, Brant Brogan, who worked with us at the vow renewal ceremony. He is a sweet guy and he took amazing photos. I don't know how I'm going to pick which photos to get because I love all 398 of them. Seriously.

His website is HERE and you can watch a promo video HERE.