How to Get Me to Work Out in 16 Easy Steps

What you have to do to get me to work out:

1. You will meet me at four-years-old in Sunday School in San Jose, California.
2. A few years later, after I move 38 miles away to Clubhouse Drive in the small town of Aptos, you will also move to Clubhouse Drive in Aptos.
3. You will recognize me on the playground and become my friend and we will know all of each other's stuff.
4. In seventh grade we will share a locker and get matching Dorothy Hammil haircuts.
5. We will play identical twin spies in a junior high play called Airport Adventure.
6. In high school, we will be cheerleaders together.
7. You will become a dancer and travel the world and I will work in TV in Los Angeles and we will keep up with each other on the phone.
8. You will move to Studio City and I will live 19 miles away in West Hollywood.
9. We will be in each other's weddings.
10. We will work together in television.
11. You will always remember my birthday.
12. You will  become an outstanding Pilates trainer and open a lovely Pilates studio in Burbank.
13. I will show up weekly and hand you a Starbuck's tall vanilla latte and we will chat.
14. During said chat, you will kick my butt with Pilates and I will barely notice because I'm too busy talking and drinking coffee.
15. I will be sore the next day and we will still know all of each other's stuff.
16. You will be awesome and you will be Kim Harris.

Me, quietly cursing while proving I have a core.