Jedi Camp: Day 3

"How was Jedi Camp today?"

"Good."

"What did you do?"

"Mom? Can you stop asking me questions about Jedi Camp, please?"

"Why? Are there Jedi secrets?"

"No, there's just this thing we're going to do on the last day where we show you our moves and I don't want to wreck the surprise."

"Understood."

"Also, my Jedi name is Jedi Phoenix."

"That's cool."

"I know it is, Mom."

Jedi Camp: Day 2

"Mom? Our master, Obi Wan, has a cell phone."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that means he's not the real Obi Wan?"

"I think it means everyone has a cell phone."

"I don't know..."

"It's probably because he's in the future."

"Oh, yeah! You're right, Mom. This is the future!"

Jedi Camp

Today, Bob and two of his friends started "Jedi Camp," a five day, three-hour morning program offered through our town's parks and rec department. Jedi Camp convened at 9:00am in the main room in the building next to the baseball field. A dozen small-ish Jedi-wannabes (technically, Padawans) stood in a row to meet their master, a baby-faced young man in robes who introduced himself as Obi Wan Kenobi.

Obi Wan formally greeted the group by shaking hands with each of his young students and quickly learning their names. He committed to a faux-British accent for the duration of the class, God love him.

According to Bob, the class went by too fast.

"Mom? I love Jedi Camp!"

"That's great, Babe. What did you do there ?"

"There was a coloring part and an outside games part and an inside light saber part and a snacks part. It was super-cool."

"That sounds amazing. What was your favorite part?"

"Meeting the real Obi Wan Kenobi. He's a Jedi master, Mom."

"That he is."

Cheeks

"Mom? When will I not have chubby cheeks anymore?"

"Who said you had chubby cheeks?"

"Coop said that maybe I can't be Harry Potter for Halloween because I have chubby cheeks."

"Your cheeks are beautiful and perfect."

"What does chubby mean?"

"When you're talking about cheeks, chubby means round. You know who used to have chubby cheeks?"

"Who?'

"Your mother. I'll show you a picture of baby-me."

"You had those cheeks? They're not chubby now."

"Your cheeks might change as you get older but they are outstanding cheeks, no matter what."

"I'm going to be Harry Potter for Halloween."

"You'll be a terrific one."

Smacksy Sunday Links

This is just a cool site.

Sweetest (only) boy/baby hummingbird video I've ever seen.

Thanks to my friend Jennifer for sending me this one. It just makes me happy.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Sleeps

Last night, I was woken up by the sound of Bob meowing in his sleep.

So Many Questions

"Mom? When is daddy going to retire from working?"

"Daddy's a young man so probably not for thirty years or maybe more if he really loves what he's doing."

"How old will I be then?"

"Maybe thirty-five or forty-five."

"I probably won't live in your house anymore then."

"Probably not."

"Can I still come over for dinner every night?"

"If you're doing the cooking, then sure."

"Will I still be your son when I'm twenty-years-old?"

"You will be my son forever."

"Can I have one of those little ice creams in the fridge?"

"Yes."

May Be

"Dad? Can you imagine if the month after May was May?"

"Why would you imagine that, Bob?"

"Well I would imagine that because if after May it was May and then May and May, every month would be my birthday. That would be awesome."

"But then everyone without a May birthday would never get a birthday."

"It's okay. Everyone could have May. We'll share."

"What about Christmas?"

"May!"

At the Bank

"Okay, Bob. I'm gonna need you to do good behavior while we're in the bank."

"I will."

"Bob, please take your mouth off of the stanchion thing."

"What's a stanchion?"

"Just take your mouth off of it and please don't hang on my purse. Can you get out from under my sweater please? Hand me my pen back please, I'm still writing with it. Bob? You said you were going to do good behavior in the bank."

"I super changed my mind."

Overheard on the Road Trip

"Mom? How long 'til we get there? Six hours? For real? How many minutes is that because it's already been at least eight minutes already... Yes it has. Yes it has. Are we going to go on the freeway? How many freeways? How many minutes has it been now? I think it's been at least four hours or four-thousand-billion-years and hours. Why is it taking so long? Is this a freeway? What? What? What? Are you sure? Can I have some grapes? No, I don't want grapes. Can I please have some string cheese? My Lego Harry Potter head just went under the seat. Can you get it? Why not? Why not now? What's that red thing? That red thing. Right there. I'm pointing at it out there right now. It's red. Why don't you know? Are you trying to not know? What time is it? How many minutes has it been? Has it been six hours of minutes? Are we there yet? Mom?"

Karate-ish Kid

"So, Mom? Now I have two friends taking karate."

"Are you interested in taking karate?"

"No, I already taught myself. I can almost karate chop a car in half. I do a spinning karate chop! Spinning karate chop! Spinning karate chop!"

"I'd like to see that."

"Okay, maybe not that but I could totally kick a little tree, like maybe a bush."

Smacksy Sunday Links

Dad by Bob Rosenberg, 2011
crayon on paper

Toys all over the floor is a much better look if your place is in Paris, apparently.

Loving the Ballerina Project.

And :58 seconds of a baby monkey riding backwards on a pig.

Happy Father's Day Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: My Hometown

I'm visiting my hometown this weekend. I haven't lived here for 26 years but every night, when I go to sleep, most of my dreams still take place here.

Overheard at the Park

"Mom? Did you see my picture? It's of me and Bob."

"That's great Mia. Is it for Bob?"

"No it's for mom."

"It's for me? That's so sweet."

"No, it's for the other mom, Bob's mom."

School's Out

"Mom? Is it summer vacation now?"

"Yep."

"And I'm all done with that pre-school?"

"That's right."

"I was there forever."

"Two years."

"That was super long."

"I was thinking it was just the opposite."

"Why are you sad, Mom? Do you need an emergency hug?"

Little Mouthy Man

"Mom? Can I have five brownies?"

"No."

"Can I have four?"

"No."

"Three?"

"Nope."

"Can I have two?"

"You can have one."

"That's not even fair!"

"You can have one or none."

"That's not even a choice. You can't even be a mom like that."

Hungry Robot

"Mom? My robot says he's hungry."

"Your robot's a he?"

"Yeah. See the arms? That's how you can tell."

"Okay."

"And he needs a supper."

"What does he eat?"

"Legos."

"Of course."

Private(s) Talk

"Careful, Bob. That's a private part."

"No it isn't, Mom."

"Yes it is. My chest is one of my private areas."

"It's not private mom because it's your part but you're my mom so it's not private to me."

"It is."

"Can I hold your hand?"

"Always."

Smacksy Sunday Links

Could you live in a 320 sq. ft. home? I think I could do it if it had floor to ceiling bookshelves.

One of my happy places.

Two minutes of father and son sweetness. I found this via lovely blog, La Maison Boheme.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: My Dad by Bob

As dictated by Bob to Mrs. A, his beloved pre-school teacher:

"Jeff is my dad. Um, I believe he's sixty-five years-old. He's very tall and weighs fifty-nine-hundred pounds. He has long hair and black eyes. Um, he works building Legos. Um, when he comes home from work he drinks everything. Um, then he plays with me and goes to bed. That's why I love him. Oh yeah, he loses a lot when we play swords."

The Latest Bob

"Mom? I have a new name you need to call me."

"Not Jedi Bob?"

"No. That was from, sort of like, 23 hours ago."

"Are you Action Bob?"

"Not anymore, Mom."

"Tell me."

"I'm Lego Bob now. Call me Lego Bob."

Jogging

My new work-out routine is as follows:
Snap on Bob's bike helmet.
Put leash on dog.
Open the door.
Chase.

This Day

"How was school today?"

"I got smacked by Dylan on purpose."

"Where?"

"In the play-yard."

"No, I mean, where on your body?"

"In the arm. It hurt but I didn't cry."

"I'm sorry, baby."

"Mom? This day was a jerk."

I'll Just Eat My Own Lunch

"What is that, Mom?"

"It's salmon. Would you like to try a bite?"

"Okay."

"So, what do you think of it?"

"You know what tastes better than salmon? Water."

"Noted."

Dear Bob

Dear Bob,
You were correct when you said that we, your parents, are "weirdos."
This is unlikely to change. In fact, over time, it will only become more and more true. We are indeed weirdos, and we are yours. Also, no two people could be more in love with your tiny, weird self.
Love,
Mom and Dad

Smacksy Sunday Links

Love this tiny apartment in Paris re-do. I'm a sucker for before and after photos.

An interesting list. Number 4 moved me to change my schedule around to go visit friends up north this month.

And a kitten vs. a scary thing. (With excellent music editing.)

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: A Glorious View From the Cheap Seats

Tonight we went with Bob, and seven of his friends and their families, to the Hollywood Bowl for Star Wars in Concert. Did Bob lose his mind? Yes he did. Watching him, watch the show, was spectacular.

How High the Sky

"That giant palm tree is almost taller than daddy."

"I think it's taller than daddy is."

"I don't know, Mom. Daddy is really tall."

"He is. That's true."

"He's tall like a building. He's tall like a house or a skyscraper. He can probably go way up high on a chair and then touch another planet, like maybe Mars."

"Probably."

Say Again?

"Bob? We need to trim your nails."

"It's okay. They're not very heavy."

"You mean long? They are long. You've got dragon-lady nails."

"They're long but they're not heavy so you don't need to trim them."

"What?"

"What?"

Time O'Clock

"Mom? When's dad getting home?"

"He should be here in about twenty minutes."

"That's too long."

"It's not so long."

"How many seconds is twenty minutes?"

"Well... 1,200 seconds."

"That's way more than 10 seconds."

"It is."

"How many seconds has that been? Is he home yet? It's been a lot of minutes. Definitely more than half a second. It's been at least three seconds."