Wednesday, November 30, 2016

World Records

"Both your little brothers are sick? Isn't that kind of weird?"

"Yeah, kind of. Judah was barfing."

"A lot?"

"Sort of."

"I wonder what the longest barf ever was."

"Yeah! I bet it was super gross."

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

A Matter of Taste

I can't remember experiencing this so drastically before but  - I can't taste anything. I've got a ridiculous sinus infection and it has totally taken away my ability to enjoy the taste of food, delightful food. I first noticed on Thanksgiving when I had a piece of pecan pie and I thought something was wrong with the pie because it wasn't sweet. At all. That pie is 300% sugar so it finally dawned on me that the pie was fine and I was to blame. Even Altoids are now curiously weak.

I also can't smell anything. This is annoying and potentially dangerous in the event of a random gas leak or small stovetop brushfire. I do have smoke and carbon monoxide detectors so I'm probably safe.

You can now consider yourself updated on a few of the symptoms of my sinus infection. (Lucky!) I left out a few other details because I am a nice person and also I like you.

It's been weird trying to figure out what to eat. What would you eat if you couldn't taste anything?

Monday, November 28, 2016

In the Soup

Mr. Rosenberg: Alton Brown is messing with me. I know he's one of those snarky, know-it-all, smart ass kind of guys. How am I supposed to follow a recipe if he's doing his joking thing? The recipe says I should heat mirepoix and then 'sweat.' It's not even funny, even if it's accurate.

Me: 'Sweat' is an actual cooking term. When you 'sweat' an onion, you heat it until it starts to release moisture.

Mr. Rosenberg: If you say so. Okay, then what the heck are 'Grains of Paradise?'

Me: Yeah, I don't know about that. I'll Google it... looks like it's a type of peppercorn.

Mr. Rosenberg: Is it common?

Me: I've never heard of it.

Mr. Rosenberg: I knew he was messing with me.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Smacksy Sunday Links

All the things you don't need for a perfect holiday.

What your breakfast says about you.

A woman who builds tiny houses for birds.

This guy made me laugh so hard.

And a goat in a duck costume.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Nice Day

The guys are camping in a downpour. In between the showers, it looked like this.

Friday, November 25, 2016


The next best day after Thanksgiving? The day after Thanksgiving. Bob and Mr. Rosenberg have the day off and that's fantastic. I spent the day in my pajamas and that is outstanding. And best of all?
Pie for breakfast.
Pie for lunch.
Pie for dinner.

Thursday, November 24, 2016


Bob made place cards for the Thanksgiving table. On the inside he wrote what he is thankful for about each person. It was a fun way to start off dinner. And pie was a fun way to finish off dinner.

Thanksgiving was terrific.

Also I may have had too many mashed potatoes.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Thanksgiving Is My Favorite

Yes. I crossed the pre-Thanksgiving pie finish line. Shattering a large glass bowl on the kitchen floor slowed me down a little but I made it. We'll have a crowd here tomorrow and I can't wait. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I have much to be thankful for.

And I'm thankful for you guys. Thanks for hanging out here. If you're American, have a terrific holiday. If you're not American, have a terrific Thursday. May I suggest some pie?

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

You Are Getting Sleepy

My regular bedtime is around 9:30pm.
I've been missing the target for the last few days.
Up 'til 3:00am on Sunday night.
Up 'til 2:30am on Monday night.
Up 'til 10:30pm last night.
I'm a rebel.
With only one day left before Thanksgiving, tomorrow will be for baking pies.
Black Friday will be for napping.

Monday, November 21, 2016

Mr. Rosenberg of the future? Is that you?

Mr. Rosenberg's friend Jaimi lives in Ohio. She brought her son to a scout meeting at a church in the Columbus area and saw this painting hanging in the hallway.

We have seen Mr. Rosenberg's future and it is wearing a blue sweater.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Smacksy Sunday Links

How to have a "chill-giving." Yes, that's a thing.

Learning life skills.

The #1 item you need for houseguests.

I re-post this every Thanksgiving season - the recipe for my favorite stuffing.  You're welcome.

Ballet dancers make Mexico City their stage.

And sometimes you just need some nice owls.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, November 18, 2016

The Grandpas

Pops and a wee Bob

Bob and his guys were sitting in front of the house this afternoon. I had the living room windows open and could here them trading stories about their grandpas.

Some grandpas played sports as young men. (He was playing catcher with no mask and got hit in the head with a wooden bat!) Two grandpas are Vietnam veterans. (They slept in ditches and in the morning had to pull leeches off each other!) One grandpa saw combat and another grandpa has a purple heart. (Heroes!) One grandpa drives a big truck. (It has super huge tires!) One grandpa hunts with a bow and arrow. (A gun is too easy!) One grandpa has passed on. (He played golf!) One grandpa was a teacher. (He was everyone's favorite teacher!) One grandpa went to Stanford. (Stanford? He must be really smart!)

And all of the grandpas had one thing in common. Each grandpa was deemed "awesome."

What lucky boys they are.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

A Night at the Opera

Tonight a friend and I went to the opera. We saw Phillip Glass' "Akhnaten." The opera was a
beautiful spectacle it was also s l o w and somber. 

Do you ever find yourself in a very quiet, serious, public situation and wonder what would happen if you just started screaming? Like do the Tarzan yell in church? Or take your shoes off and throw them at the black board during a driver's test at the DMV?  

Tonight we were sitting in the top balcony. I was trying to concentrate on the music. (Did I mention it was s l o w?) And my mind wandered to the thought - what if I just stood up and grabbed my keys and chucked them over the heads of the audience? Would the keys make it to the stage or just nail some unfortunate person on the skull and give them a concussion? 

The fun of thinking about something like that it is when you start to lack trust in yourself and worry that you might just lose your mind and scream/throw something/sing. Of course I didn't do anything of the sort. I'm saving it for your wedding.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Introducing Den 16

Bob's had an interest in scouts for a few years now, but we'd been holding off until the Boy Scouts got it together and removed their ban on gay scout members and leaders. Now the scouts are inclusive, or as Bob puts it, "All my friends and their parents can finally join if they want."

Bob, Desmond, and Felix picked up their uniforms this week and the three of them make up the entirety of Den 16. The guys attended their first pack meeting tonight and received their neckerchiefs and guide books. Bob's excited.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Crazy in Love

"... but Mom, you said she was his fiancee."

"She is."

"But I thought men were the "fiancee" and women were the "Beyonce."

Monday, November 14, 2016

Under the Super Moon

The Orange Crush had their first playoff game tonight. It was intense and exciting. The guys won by one point in the last forty seconds. The next two games are this coming weekend and they'll be battling for their place in the top four. The guys are thrilled and we're thrilled for them. Who knew kids,  under-twelve soccer could be so exciting? I'm hoarse from all of the screaming. I'm that mom.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Smacksy Sunday Links

Things you need to stop wasting time on.

Listening to this song reduces your anxiety by up to 65%.

Rest in sweet peace, Leonard Cohen.

A chef turns desserts into mini-scenes.

And pug puppies.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Headed Into Playoffs

Today was the last game of the regular season. The guys got a bye into the second round of playoffs. Now they're waiting for Wednesday... 

Friday, November 11, 2016

Thank a Veteran

My Maternal Grandfather, Robert Lee Zimmerman, Germany 1944

Thursday, November 10, 2016

I Get It

Munich, 2005

Sometimes you just need a backstage shot of Baby Bob in noise canceling headphones.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

We're Tired

I think we're all tired. Soul tired. I know I am. I can feel it on the street when I'm driving. I see it on the faces of the people in Trader Joe's. I got in an elevator today at the doctor's office and forgot to pick a floor and went for a pointless ride. My parking job was ridiculous. Tired.

I wish for you some deep breaths - in through your nose, out through your mouth.

Perhaps you could sneak a nap or get into bed twenty minutes early tonight.

How about another glass of water?

You could take a walk near a fountain.

Or light a candle and say a little prayer.

Eat something green. (The leftover Halloween Starbursts don't count.)

Read a few pages of that book waiting for you on your nightstand.

When's the last time you touched your toes?

Silently bless the people in line behind you at Rite-Aid.

Lay down on the floor next to your pet and hang out. That's always good.

Wear your favorite piece of clothing. All week, if you want.

Before you leave the house in the morning, get motivated by listening to your boxing entrance song. If you don't have one, now's the time to pick one. Mine's Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. 

A nice piece of dark chocolate is a good idea too.

When you get in the elevator, don't forget to pick a floor.

Another breath. Right now. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Election Day

We got in line to vote this morning fifteen minutes before the polls opened. I urged everyone to vote. Now, as results unfold, I have to remember that "everyone" includes people with different views than mine, those with other ideologies, and people who have their own life experiences that have led them to their beliefs. The next thing I have to remember? Acceptance.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Election-Free Zone

Of course I'm voting, but do you really need to hear about that? Take a break from the news and look at some nice photos of Teddy. You're welcome.

Ted and his "uncle," my mom's dog, Samson.

Ted sneaking out of the room with a stolen sandwich.

Teddy hanging out in one of his favorite spots.

Ted side-eye.

And Ted with his pal, Bob Rosenberg.

Vote well, guys. Be careful out there.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Smacksy Sunday Links

Why your brain needs more downtime.

Ways to use the extra hour on daylight savings. (You didn't forget to fall back did you?)

Life gets real when the TV goes off.

They found the long lost Amber Room.

And a dog and a bunny.

Happy Sunday.

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Sin City

Bob and I are in Las Vegas picking up Mr. Rosenberg who just completed a 200 mile relay race through Nevada. It's Bob's first time in Vegas. He has many questions, including:

Hooters has a whole hotel?
Why is it called Hooters, again?
What's a vape?
Why is that Zumanity Cirque du Soleil show rated 18+?
Did you see you can shoot a real machine gun at that place over there?
What does Thunder From Down Under mean?
Can we get one of those big slushy drinks? What do you mean those are only for grown ups?

Friday, November 4, 2016

When You've Got Six Guys in the House

Six guys conversation topics:

Baseball as a professional career.
Who farted?
Who's the best goalie?
The Switch Witch and her spending limit.
Who else farted?
Who flushes? 1 and 2? Different rules for flushing at homes of family and homes of friends.
Who never flushes?
Who cares if their socks match? (No one.)
What is and isn't a bad word.
Dark chocolate vs milk chocolate.
Quote of the day is from Felix: "I trust you guys with my life."

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Wednesday, November 2, 2016


"So, Bob? This is David Ross' last game?"

"Yeah, he's retiring. He's been playing for a million years."

"A million?"

"He's suuuuuuuper old."

"How old is that?"

"I think he's almost forty."

Tuesday, November 1, 2016


What sweet treats did I enjoy for Halloween? A little something called Moviprep, a colonoscopy preparation solution with a Dulcolax chaser. Yes, I spent one spooky night cleaning out my colon situation and today I had my first colonoscopy.

As I understand it, when you turn fifty, it's time to get a colonoscopy - earlier if you have a family history of colon cancer. This very common type of cancer is super treatable if you catch it early - with an easy-peasy colonoscopy. The prep is a bit tedious, but the procedure itself is like a nap. Really. I was talking with the anesthesiologist before we got started and then all of a sudden I was waking up in a recovery room and it was over. I received a clean bill of colon-health and I was on my way to Starbucks for a munch needed grande drip.

If you've already hit the big 5 - 0 and you haven't done this yet? Make your appointment now, please.