Saturday, April 21, 2018

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Living Room Checklist

Feverish child on couch - Check
Hydrangea in need of watering - Check
Bowl for upset stomach episodes under coffee table - Check
Mr. Rosenberg playing guitar - Check
Cartoons on TV (The Regular Show) - Check
Dog next to couch - Check
Size 15 shoes on floor - Check
Other dog in hallway - Check
Fluids for hydrating - Check
Saturday Evening in April - Check

Friday, April 20, 2018

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Things You Need to Know Right Now About My Friend Janelle Hanchett

Things you need to know right now about my friend Janelle Hanchett:

Janelle Hanchett is a phenomenal writer.

Janelle Hanchett's memoir I'm Just Happy to Be Here, is coming out May 1 and you can pre-order it here. 

Janelle Hanchett's memoir I'm Just Happy to Be Here is filled with the kind of miraculous writing that occurs when craft meets wisdom meets bravery.

Janelle Hanchett's memoir I'm Just Happy to Be Here is about family and hopelessness and motherhood and tragedy and wonder and salvation and the scars that make us beautiful.

I read Janelle Hanchett's memoir I'm Just Happy to Be Here, in one sitting and then I read it again and you can pre-order it here. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Guilty, Part of One

Me: Hey! Did someone eat part of the red throw blanket?!

Mr. Rosenberg: Sorry, yeah. I did.

Monday, April 16, 2018

Nothing Broken

Just a sprain. "Just." And a skinned knee and an EXTRA skinned arm. All from running down the sidewalk. One tree root in the path and blammo - no baseball for a week. Or two. Or.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Smacksy Sunday Links

Real friends need not dazzle.

Why teenagers become allergic to their parents.

Self-care suggestions for when it all feels like too much.

A lovely 300 square foot studio.

Best small space living on Instagram. #readtealeaves is my longtime favorite.

And giving the kitten a little help up the stairs.

Happy Sunday. 

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Friday, April 13, 2018


It's been a long crazy week. But this face is handsome. And also crazy.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Thursday Night

A two hour game followed by a two hour practice. It's cold. It's windy. It's late. They still play. I love baseball.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Positively Reptile

Now that the weather is warmer, when I open the front door in the afternoon, this guy is waiting for me. Today we had another of our epic staring contests. I'm a champion star-er from way back, and yet he beat me again. He's a tough customer, this one. His name is Hamish Steplizard. Hamish has been most ill-tempered since he gave up cigarettes. (Lucky Strikes, he always broke the filter off.) He's no rummy, but he's been known to toss back a tall, cool one of an evening. On Saturdays, he's an old timey, bare-nuckle boxer. Oh, Hamish Steplizard, you rakish cad. I'll stare you down yet. 

Tuesday, April 10, 2018


The woods are lovely, dark and deep...
Robert Frost

Look at that fat squirrel, Mom! Or maybe it's a beaver? Do they have beavers here? Like, fat ones? Or a weasel? I don't really know what those look like but maybe. Or? I'm going to go with fat beaver with a squirrel tail. Yeah, that's totally what it is.
Robert Rosenberg

Monday, April 9, 2018

Natural Architecture

Last week, I stood inside a hollow, fallen sequoia tree and took this photo out of a natural "window." Then, I turned around and fell down an inside the hollow, fallen sequoia tree natural "stair." Perhaps the hollow, fallen sequoia tree should consider growing a natural "handrail." I'll see myself to the suggestion box.

Friday, April 6, 2018


Thanks to this gal (guy?), my Friday smells almost as good as my last Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

It Was Wow

The last few days we were in Sequoia National Park and it was incredible. We were surrounded at all times by ridiculous majesty. There was not much actual wifi and I could only make sporadic contact with the outside world which was pretty okay. I was unable to post on my blogging platform so my friend Laurie was nice enough to go into my deal and post my stuff for me because nature is nice and everything but I was not willing to break my post-every-day-for-eight-years-and-eleven-months blogging streak.
And yes, I hike in a dress. Of course I do.

Tuesday, April 3, 2018


I look up into the branches and find myself crying. This is astonishing beauty.

Monday, April 2, 2018

Mountains and Trees and Rosenbergs

Yesterday we hugged nice people and ate delicious snacks. Today we drove into a cloud. Tomorrow we'll see the world's largest tree. So far, April is outstanding.

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Smacksy Sunday Links

How to talk to your kids about gender-nonconforming people.

Ways to help the homeless. This is written specifically for Los Angeles but many ideas could translate to anywhere people need help.

Living small. I get this.

Every decision my kids made me make in a day.

This house please.

The mad, mad love of Man Ray and Lee Miller.

And baby bunnies.

Happy Passover and Happy Easter Sunday.

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Thursday, March 29, 2018

This Week in Smacksy History

March 2011

When I read old blog posts to Bob now at bedtime, I often try to choose them from the same week we're in, but from years back. Here are a few of this week's favorites from around this week in 2011, when Bob was four years-old.

Easy come, easy go: Loyalties

Cleverness: The Good Fight

Still true: Overheard at the Playdate

The more things change: Mischief of One Kind or Another

Bob's Favorite: 4:24am

My Favorite: The Eyes

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

He's Back

The broken wrist has healed. The arm muscles are building back up. He's easing back into baseball and has three hits in the last four at bats. Ready to play ball.

Monday, March 26, 2018


Because "someone" (CoughLeviRosenbergCough) ate his own towel. You're on your towel-less own, Ted.

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Smacksy Sunday Links

Mr. Rosenberg takes some beautiful photos when he goes to Seattle on business. 

Things we think we need today that won't matter in the long run.

Perhaps there is nothing wrong with your house.
P.S. I love Chip and Joanna Gaines and think what they do is not the best example of this theme but I like the overall idea here.

The misfit mausoleums of Montmartre.

I adore a lovely film dolly shot. 

And gorgeous animal portraits.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Hello From Allan Murray

It's been awhile since I've updated you all on Dr. Allan Murray Rosenberg, Cardiologist/Betafish. He enjoys eating and hanging out in his tiny house (he's so on trend). Allan is getting along just swimmingly. Yeah, I said it.

Friday, March 23, 2018

A Classic

Chart and corresponding calculation found on kitchen table. 
(My go to was always 710.77345=SHELL.OIL)

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Sometimes (Always) FaceTime With Mr. Rosenberg is (Really) Freaky

"Are you calling from The Death Star?"

"Just my weird hotel room."

"Looks so cheerful. And like you're just a bod-less floating head."

"I'm just tired."

"Too tired to have a body?"

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Neckerchief Guys

I picked the guys up from boarding. Apparently while we were gone, Levi became a rodeo clown. Teddy remains a stevedore. 

Monday, March 19, 2018


Levi? Everything's cool. You can stand down. Come away from the window, please. Levi. Levi. Teddy? What's up with the towel? I put it in your spot so you can get on it. Why is only your head on it? Teddy? Levi? Guys?

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Friday, March 16, 2018


"How's the drive going, Bob?"

"Good. We'll be there in a bout two more hours. Dad and I just drove through In N Out burger."

"What about all of those healthy snacks I packed for you guys?'

"Yeah, we ate some of those too."

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Oh, Boy

(His feet are already a size larger than mine.)

On the way home from the meeting for parents of incoming sixth graders held at the middle school this evening, I changed the radio station five times. Every song choice was making me well up. I gave up and turned the car stereo off once I realized that it wasn't the songs that were making me misty. 

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

The Walkout

This morning at 10:00am, every grade level at Bob's elementary school participated in the National School Walkout by reading the same book in their classrooms, I Am Peace by Susan Verde. At the same time, about fifty parents gathered in front of the school and silently held hands for seventeen minutes. While we stood quietly, I could hear the regular sounds of the neighborhood - birds and dogs making their bird and dog noises, traffic on a nearby street, someone raking their yard. I heard kids playing at recess on the other side of the gates.

A phone alarm gently alerted us that seventeen minutes had passed and a few wiped away tears. As we broke into small groups and chatted, one of the parents called out, "It's the middle schoolers." A few hundred middle school students had apparently walked out of school and were rounding the corner.
Accompanied by a handful of parents and escorted by the local police, these sixth, seventh, and eighth grade students carried signs and marched by. We stood and clapped for them. We clapped for these bright, thoughtful kids, and the kids walking out of the local high school, and the kids walking out of all of the other schools in our country. We clapped for the kids playing recess on the other side of the gates.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018


At Target this morning, I saw an older (than me) couple staring at this t-shirt.

Her: I don't get it. Do you get this?'

Him: Hmm. No. Can't say that I do.

Her: Leprecha... No. I don't get it.

Me: (cruising up with my cart) You know how the kids say, 'I can't even?'

Her: Oooh. Yeah. Now I get it.

Me: It's a stretch, for sure.

Him: Huh.

Now I enjoy a good pun as much as, or probably even more than, the next guy but if you have to explain it...

Please, and no thank you. Slow your pun-roll Target.

Monday, March 12, 2018

These Little Shoes

Backstory: I haven't worn ballet slippers in thirty-one years. I am still rehabbing various dumb injuries. My left shoulder and right wrist are sort of useless at the moment. I recently ordered these lovely items. My question to you is this: Is this a purchase of hope or stupidity?
You can be honest-ish.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Saturday, March 10, 2018

That Time Johnny Cougar Painted My Portrait

In 1994, Jennifer and I were producing our first show and we went to Indiana to interview John Mellencamp. While he pontificated about art, he painted my portrait. When the cameras stopped rolling, he covered the canvas (of my face) in black paint. Anyhoo. That segment recently resurfaced on the internet. Enjoy.

Friday, March 9, 2018

The Source

The living room smells like dog pee and I can't find the source. I mean, obviously I know one of these guys is The Source, but the pee-smell location is eluding me. I tried Febreeze-ing the entire area and now it smells like Febreeze pees. But that's okay, we can meet at your house. I'll leave them home.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Mon of Poké

There are currently 144 of these on Bob's desk. He can name them all. 

Wednesday, March 7, 2018


I sat on the edge of the pavement where it meets the sand. A blond, dreadlocked guy with a surfboard ran in from the ocean.

Surfman: Is that your tumbleweed?

Me: Yeah. That's where I keep it.

Surfman: Nice of you to keep it out of the way.

Me: Well, you know me.

Surfman: I think I do.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

The Perch

If you're looking for Ted, you will likely find him here. This is The Spot. From the top of the backyard stairs, a low-rider like Teddy can see the whole backyard, the spot on the tree where the squirrels hangout, the back porch, through the small window in the backdoor into the house, and if you look over the fence you can watch the guy who comes to clean Phil's pool. Ted will not move from The Spot until he hears the word "cookie." Who can blame him?

Monday, March 5, 2018

The Essentials, If You're 11 Years-Old

(Super Cool Bookcase Courtesy of Miss Ilene)
Trophies "Mostly participation and that means not real, but there's two real ones."
Dodger Bobbleheads
Pokemon Plushies
The World
An Old Monkey Bank
A Robot and a Wind-Up Car
A Cool Mine Craft Art Piece Felix Made
Football Picture of Grandpa Ed When He Was 11
So Many, Yet Never Enough, Baseball Cards
Disco Light
CD Player, 5 Michael Jackson CDs, and the Star Wars Soundtrack
Mighty Mouse Needlepoint Great Grandma Ruth Made for Dad When He Was a Kid
A Nutcracker Named Steve
Games and Puzzles
Baseball Conditioning Weights
Seven Pairs of Swag Sunglasses Dad Brought Home From a Tech Conference
Mason Jars Filled With Change and Erasers
And Books

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Smacksy Sunday Links

Habits of a minimalist.

In the time you spend on social media each year, you could read 200 books. 

Taking notes by hand.

Five unexpected things happy people have in their kitchens.

First flowers.

My friend Sue, asked on Facebook, for friends to recommend one song from the last ten years that would up her music game. This is my song.

And this sweet pitty and his kitty.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, March 2, 2018

Preferred Reading

What's better than curling up with the latest issue of Mad magazine? Not much.