Sunday, May 31, 2015

Saturday, May 30, 2015

P.S. Humphrey Is a Girl

It was Bob's turn to take Humphrey, the class hamster, home for the weekend. We all love her.

Friday, May 29, 2015

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Bed Guys

The guys in our room, as usual. And by "our" room I mean "their" room, apparently.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Drop-Off Talk

"Mom? Remember how I used to want a brother or sister?"

"I do."

"Well, I've decided a couple of reasons I'm glad I don't."

"Like what?"

"Like, I don't have to share as much."

"What else?"

"That's pretty much it. That's a good one though."

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

21 Things I Would Tell the Girl Who's Half My Age

Me, half my lifetime ago.

We were at breakfast downtown on Saturday and a young woman walked inside the restaurant. I did a double-take. She looked just like me at twenty-five: pale, almond shaped eyes, tons of dark wavy hair. It was strange. I whispered to Mr. Rosenberg, "Oh my God." "I know!" he said. "Anything you want to tell her?" "What would I say? 'Hello stranger have a look - I'm you at fifty!'"

Her face has been in my head since then. What would I tell her, the younger me? Just these twenty-one things.

1. Forgiveness is the most important thing you can learn. Get good at it. Forgiveness will bring you the highest return on your investment. It will set you free.

2. Acceptance is a close second. You will not get taller. He will not suddenly be good with money. She will always be sort of messy.

3. Call your mom.

4. Don't stop yourself from doing something you're interested in just because it will take too much time. Time will pass anyway. Do that thing. You know the one.

5. Learn how to be a good friend. Your friends will save you. Keep those folks close.

6. Splurge on the good bath towels.

7. Time is precious, but don't get in a hurry.

8. The most important qualities when searching for an apartment are "Pets okay," and "Private parking included." Dishwashers are overrated. I stand by this.

9. Be independent but don't forget how to be vulnerable.

10. Do not waste your time longing for life to be different. Change it. It's never too late.

11. Your car doesn't have to be  fancy or cool. It has to drive. It's no fun looking cool, broken down on the side of the freeway. Also - know how to drive a stick shift.

12.  Do not settle when it comes to your love relationships. Pick the friendly, smart, and funny guy or gal who loves you. If you make any of these qualities negotiable, you are settling. Also, you should love the way they smell.

13. There are many different paths to your dream job but they should all begin at the bottom. There are nothing but good reasons for this.

14. Accept gifts and compliments graciously.

15. Keep a journal.

16. Volunteer. This will make you a happier person.

17. If you celebrate Christmas, get yourself a Christmas tree. Even if you live alone. Especially if you live alone.

18. That saying that God only has three answers  - Yes, not now, or I have something better planned for you is the truest thing. Remember this when you are rejected.

19. When you move, most of your boxes should be filled with books.

20. Drink your coffee outside as often as possible.

21. Don't cut bangs. Ever. Not with that wavy hair of yours. Don't kid yourself.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Memorial Day

I found this video of the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier fascinating. Click HERE to view the video and read about the guards.

Remembering those that have fallen.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Smacksy Sunday Links

4 truths about worry.

An artist imagines figures from classical paintings as part of contemporary life.

And a cliche newborn photo shoot with a dog.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, May 22, 2015

That Explains It

"So Mom, then I took the ball like this, and I juked him."


"You know, a nutmeg."

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Smacksy Sells It 1991

I had a short-lived career as a commercial actress in the early 90s. After having a conversation yesterday with my hairdresser about my early 90s very large hair, very large brows, very large earrings, I dug up this gem on YouTube as a visual aid. And regarding the woman who does my hair, this commercial is one year-older than she is. I can't even.
Click Here or view below.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015


"Mom? Mom? Can you wake up? I had a nightmare."

"Oh, no. What was it about?"

"Bad guys were getting me and now when I try to go to sleep, I go back in the same bad dream."

"Okay. Let's think about some nice things."

"Like what?"


"All right."

"Playing soccer with your friends."

"That's a good one."

"Ice cream. Kittens. Sunny days. Bike rides. Blowing out the candles on your birthday cake. Brandon's tree fort. The beach. Hitting a home run. Car rides with the window open. Frisbee with Dad. Babies. Pizza. Your teacher. Ponies. Reading books. A new box of colored pencils. Swimming pools. Butterflies. Big trees. Basketball in the gym. Thanksgiving. Baseball cards... Bob? Are you asleep? Bob? Sweet dreams."

Monday, May 18, 2015


Bob's baseball coach, Coach Larry, yells to his players when one of them strikes to, "Re-set!" Feet back in the box, choke up on the bat, elbows up, ready for the next pitch. On Mondays, Teddy re-sets by staring out the front windows, waiting for Bob and Mr. Rosenberg to come back home. I get back in the batter's box with laundry and dishes and lists and calendars and coffee. Re-set, everyone.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Bosco


I have been blessed in the cousins department. I have 27 first cousins on my dad's side. Today I will travel to central California to say farewell to my cousin Kenneth. When he was younger, we called him Bosco and he is still Bosco to me. He was loved by so many. He will be missed but we are comforted in knowing that he is now at peace. Wishing you a safe passage, Bosco.

Friday, May 15, 2015

The Songs That Made Me

In the latest issue of Rolling Stone, there are a series of articles called "The Songs That Made Me," written by various musical artists. In them, the artists list the songs that made them who they are and why. In keeping with that theme, some friends and I have written lists of the songs that made us. Each of the songs I've listed here is a link to the song itself. Following my list, you will find links to my friends' lists. 

Music is memory and speaks in a way no words on their own ever could. Narrowing this list to just ten songs was nearly impossible. 

1. This Could Be the Start of Something Big,” Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme, 1960
I love my family and I was not looking for a new one, but I have always had a deep affection for Steve and Eydie. They were my make-believe parents, my Beverly Hills by way of Vegas by way of Brooklyn, Jewish other life. Throw on a caftan, grab a martini and lounge by the pool. This obsession began in the 3rd grade. I was an odd kid.

2. “Cry Baby Cry,” The Beatles, 1968
In my high school, the go-to bands for most of the student population were Blue Oyster Cult, Led Zeppelin, and AC/DC  - all lovely but thanks to Ron Hughes, this was not the case for me. Ron introduced me to The Beatles. I thank him for this and lots of other things. This song is my most favorite song of many favorite songs on the White Album. This song is high school for me.

3. “Alison,” Elvis Costello, 1977
If you’ve been reading Smacksy for any amount of time, you’re aware of my longstanding love affair with this song.  I was in Rite Aid yesterday, this song came on and I felt it necessary to announce to the line at the pharmacy that, "They're playing my song!" I'm a nerd. I wrote about my relationship with Elvis Costello here at Nancy Davis Kho's Midlife Mixtape.

4. “Alladin Sane,” David Bowie, 1973
The song is haunting and Mike Garson’s incredible piano solo takes up a lot of real estate in my head. David Bowie obviously was and still is impossibly cool. I got to meet him in 1995 on a show I was working on. They say it’s not safe to meet your idols because you will likely be disappointed. Mr. Bowie was smart and interesting and warm. He was everything I had imagined him to be and more. I adore him, and this song. 

5. “Mysterious Ways,” U2, 1991
Some songs have the ability to bring you back to a specific time and place, an exact moment.  In ‘91, I was 27 and working in a casting office for HKM Productions in the basement of the old USO building just off Hollywood Boulevard. This song takes me there, to that squeaky office chair in the dark edit bay. Part of my heart will always belong there.

6. “September of My Years,” Frank Sinatra, 1965
Beautiful and melancholy, I first fell in love with this in 10th grade although I was apparently prematurely retired and living in Boca in my late 60's. You can’t listen to this version of Frank on a sunny day.

7. “Go Your Own Way,” by Fleetwood Mac, 1977
This means junior high, summertime, and hanging out at Ellen Frear’s pool. Rumours was on a constant loop. I am an only child. Ellen’s family with 7 kids and these impossibly beautiful, cool, older sisters was a different universe. 

8. “When Doves Cry,” Prince, 1984
The 1980s were Depeche Mode and Devo and Michael Jackson and The Smiths and The Clash and of course the soundtrack from Breakin', but in my 1980s life, the Purple Rain album was everything. It was a big piece of my puzzle. Dig if you will the picture…

9. “Volcano,” Damien Rice, 2002
Volcano has been with me since 2002. It floated into my world in the the time between my second divorce and when I met Mr. Rosenberg. I still listen to it almost everyday. This the soundtrack to a mood I find myself in often. It’s my go-to song while driving.  Okay, and this one too. 

10. “I’ll Never Lie Again,” Lavender Diamond, 2007
Mr. Rosenberg was a founding member of this band. I went to shows all through our courtship, my pregnancy, and then started bringing the baby along (with his sound canceling headphones) to shows and on tour when Bob was 3 weeks old. This song is from their first album, Imagine Our Love. And a bonus, “You Broke My Heart," from the One Day Like Rain film soundtrack.

More songs and stories here:

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Smacksy is Six

Saturday will be six years that I have been writing in this space every day. I am welling up thinking about it. Whether you've been here since the beginning or are just joining me, I thank you. This place is where I come to remember the big and little moments I experience with my family. It has also become a place where I have met some of my very favorite people. I have so much gratitude for this whole process. Writing here has given me more than I could have ever expected.

My family is my home. Smacksy is my home. You guys are my home. I thank you. 

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Love Sponge

He's just dreamy, this one. It's difficult to get anything done around here because I want to squish on him all the time. Teddy is a snuggler.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The Exam

"So Mom? No cavities? This means chocolate cake is actually good thing, right?"

"Chocolate cake is always a good thing."

"I knew it."

Monday, May 11, 2015

I Know That Part

"Mom! I can't believe how many baseball cards I got!"

"I know! It's terrific. You're a lucky guy."

"Yeah, but now I have to put them all in my card binder."

"That's the fun part."

"It's also the hard brain thinking part that hurts."

Friday, May 8, 2015


You may recall Ted's affinity for eating pajamas and underpants. I purchased new pajamas to take with me on my trip to Scottsdale last weekend. From the mailing pack, I put the jammies straight into the washer, then right to the dryer, then into my suitcase and zipped the case closed. When I finally put the pajamas on at the hotel the next day, they had already been chewed out in the backside area. Proving again, Teddy is magic.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Remembering My Mother's Mother's Mother

Easter Jane Sullivan was my great-grandmother. She had one daughter, who had one daughter, who had one daughter - each of us twenty years apart.

She was born on a prairie farm in Texas and grew up working with her sisters to feed the hands that came to work there. Her teenage boyfriend died tragically, beginning a melancholy that would follow her through her years.

She met my great-grandfather when he came to the farm to work the land. After they married, they moved to a small boomtown in the Texas panhandle where she worked to start the church. Easter was known for her pies and Parker House rolls, tatting and crochet. She made my mother's clothes, all ruffles and lace and sashes for her tom-boy granddaughter.

She kept vegetable and flower gardens, raising irises that she fashioned into corsages that she wore to Sunday service. She loved the bible and her family. Easter Jane was Irish and good and true. She is part of the women she made, her delicate, gloved hand guiding us. How lucky we were to have her.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Sharing the Knowledge

"You guys? You guys!"

"What, Felix?"

"You know if you have a friend that pants really hard like this haa haa haa? You know what it means?'

"That he's going to pass out?"

"No, Bob. It means he's turning into a dog."

"Haa haa haa."

"Felix, I think Desmond is turning into a dog!"

"No. He's just pretending to be a dog. That's totally different."

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Today This Guy is Nine

Bob on his second birthday

I know. Everyone says, "It goes so fast," but really. Our boy is nine years-old today. This doesn't make sense because he was only two years-old a minute ago. Seriously, just one minute. 

We will celebrate. There will be pizza and soccer and a cake with gum balls on it. 

There will be a few tears from me because time is tricky. 

And it will be a happy birthday. 

Monday, May 4, 2015

39 Ways My Girlfriends Have Saved My Life

Chrissy, Barbara, and Me. 1968

I am blessed with the most wonderful girlfriends. They have shaped me into the woman I am today. They save my life all the time.  Here are only 39 of the ways.

She calls me every morning.

She talked me into joining the PTA and then made me glad I did.

She got me to leave the country, when I was too depressed to leave the house.

She is my son's Godmother.

She convinced me I can do anything I want with this life.

She introduced me to a network of other girlfriends online that live all across the country.

She remembers my personal history better than I do.

She got sent to the assistant principal's office with me in seventh grade for bringing a suggestive Judy Blume book to school. (Forever, 1975)

She filled my freezer with homemade soup for when we brought the baby home.

She got me published.

She sends me sweet gifts for no reason and all the reasons.

She sang Captain and Tennille songs into a hairbrush/microphone with me in her childhood bedroom.

She always remembers my birthday.

She let me use her brown Pinto to take my driver's test.

She convinced me to try online dating, and there I met my husband.

She loves me like her own daughter.

She will add my son to her busy day, no sweat.

She shared an office with me for seven years.

She will tell me if my lipstick color isn't quite right.

She gave me her dog.

She jumped out of an airplane with me. (Literally and figuratively.)

She was the perfect roommate.

She calls on every holiday to tell me how much I mean to her.

She showed me how to give to those who need it and expect nothing in return.

She told me I could write.

She introduced me to her boyfriend who gave me my first (non-waitressing) job.

She gives me clothes she knows will look good on me.

She showed me how to be a mom.

She made prank phone calls with me to Scott Feldenheimer in fifth grade.

She is interested in all of my details.

She went on lunch dates with me that would turn into impromptu road trips.

She asked me to be in the room for the birth of her son.

She tells me about what my husband was like as a kid.

She cries when sad things happen to me.

She showed me how she got sober and how I could get sober too.

She takes me on adventures.

She introduced me to The Clash, The Cure, and The Smiths.

She packed up our house and helped me move when our son was three months-old.

She makes me laugh every time. Every time.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Smacksy Sunday Links

Peaceful simplicity.

This 92 year-old woman dancing a tango is beautiful.

And starlings form a spectacular murmuration.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Tarot Day

Day two in the desert. I had my Tarot cards read by a wonderful woman named Cindy. I'm no Tarot expert but I do enjoy any practice that turns my thoughts inward, giving me a moment to pause and reflect on my goals and character. The expanse of this desert feels like a good place for that. I'll take that home with me.