Tuesday, December 31, 2013

My Wishes For You In 2014


This New Year, I wish for you:
A fresh start
Hard work
Mandarin oranges
A new song you like so much, you learn all the words
Adventure
Salt air
Rainy streets
A book that makes you forget your bedtime
Eye contact with a baby
Birds flying in a V
Coins left in your pocket at the end of the day
A secret
Soft socks
Grace
A run at full speed
Dog noses
Dark chocolate and good coffee (or tea, if that’s how you do)
Library voices
Hope
Train whistles
The smell of fires in fireplaces
Faith
Clouds that resemble running horses
Cool sheets
An inside joke
And a hug that takes your breath away.

Happy New Year.


Monday, December 30, 2013

A Classic


"Mom! Mom! Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"To get to the other sidewalk."

"I think you mean - to get to the other side."

"Walk. Sidewalk. That's what's across the road. Haven't you ever heard this joke before, Mom?"



Friday, December 27, 2013

So Be Good For Goodness Sake


"How did Santa get in since our fireplace is blocked up?"

"Probably through a door."

"Okay Mom, but which one?"

"I'm not sure."

"Do you leave the doors unlocked?"

"No."

"Then how does he open it?"

"Santa is sort of magic, remember?"

"You should have asked Santa for some of that for when we got locked out last week and you tried to crawl in the bathroom window and then fell and did that thing to your ankle. Magic would have really helped out that situation, Mom."



Thursday, December 26, 2013

Holiday Shopper: The 99 Cent Store Revisited


This year we were back at Bob's favorite place to do his holiday shopping, The 99 Cent Store. He is a thoughtful and practical shopper. Below are highlights from his purchases.

Aunt Jen - Bag of dried chiles "Because she does cooking."

Grandma Jan - 2 cut glass goblets  "For her and Pops' wine."

Pops - Calendar featuring photos of Yorkies  "Like picture friends for his dog."

Mom - White travel cup with bright green stripe  "For Mom's coffee. She always has a coffee."

Dad - Size 9 black socks  (Jeff's a size 15) "He always needs more socks and that time last week when he wore two socks that didn't match."

Miss Judy - Long handled grabber thing  "In case I'm not there when something rolls under her couch this time."

Nikki - Travel cup decorated with cartoon drawings of eyeglasses  "I'm pretty sure she goes places."

Aunt Jill - Bendy Santa and reindeer toy figures  "Since she's Jewish, she might not have enough Christmas decorations."

Barry - Bendy Santa and reindeer toy figures  "I'm thinking he likes toys."

Mee Mee - Orange polka-dot socks  "So her feet will be warm and good looking."

Dawn - Santa hat with attached white yarn braided "hair"  "That hair will look good on her hair."




Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Happy Christmas

Christmas 1969

It has long been my job to set up the Nativity scene every Christmas. I still have this set and I put it up every year.

Wishing each of you a Happy Christmas and a beautiful Wednesday.



Tuesday, December 24, 2013

In the 99 Cent Store


"Mom, wouldn't it be cool if everything in the 99 Cent Store actually only cost 99 cents?"

"Everything in the 99 Cent Store does only cost 99 cents."

"Really? Everything?"

"Yep."

"Oh my gosh. Why didn't you tell me this before? This sort of changes my life."



Monday, December 23, 2013

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Friday, December 20, 2013

A Close One


"Hey, Mom. You see this?"

"Your middle finger extended at me?"

"Yeah. You know what that middle finger means?"

"Why don't you tell me what it means to you?"

"It means this is my longest finger! See? Longest!"



Thursday, December 19, 2013

Dress Code


"Which pajamas are you wearing to school on Friday for the hot chocolate party?"

"I'm not wearing pajamas. Not doing it."

"You're going naked?"

"No, Mom. I'm wearing regular clothes. Pajamas are embarrassing."

"Why?"

"You know, jammies are just so... personal."

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Here


That first Christmas doesn't seem so long ago. The years are moving fast. I want to remember to sit still.

When I tell people that Bob is seven, they say, "That's such a good age." And it is. He likes us. He's snuggly. He'll hold hands. He's still on board with Santa. I know there will be more good ages but I want to notice and feel this age, this Christmas season, this day. He'll be a big boy soon enough. Today he's a little boy and I'm grateful.





Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Slippers Review


"How do the slippers fit?"

"Good."

"They're cute."

"Yeah, but that's not the best part."

"What's the best part?"

"The ears flap when I walk."




Sunday, December 15, 2013

A Monday


Today, I'm giving you this photo of my mom's puppy, Samson. Yes, he's wearing a tie. He's a little blurry in this photo because if he's not sleeping, he's on the move. I think most people's Mondays could use a little dose of a puppy in a tie. Here's yours. Have a great Monday.




Smacksy Sunday Links

Thursday, December 12, 2013

In the Classroom


"Class? One, two, three, eyes on me."

"Ms. Gina?"

"Yes, Bob."

"If my eyes were literally on you, it would be pretty gross."


Dear Santa


Dear Santa
Minecraft Steve
Creeper
Steve Diamond Edition
Minecraft 
Stickers
And Surprises

Hopefully Santa will know what all that stuff is because I really don't.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Symptoms


"Mom, I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to candy canes."

"Why do you think so?"

"Because when I eat it my hair stands up and I get goose bumps."

"Interesting."

"I am definitely not allergic to hot chocolate though."



Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Pillow Talk


"Sleep tight, Bob. Good night."

"Wait, Mom. What's it called again when someone is right handed and left handed at the same time?"

"Ambidextrous. Now close your eyes."

"Okay, good night... Mom? What's your favorite number?"

"Nine. Now really, good night, Bob."

"Good night... Wait, Mom? I know how to spell hour. It's h-o-u-r."

"Terrific. Go to sleep."

"Can I open my advent calendar for tomorrow early? Like right now?"

"What do you think I'm going to say, Bob?"

"No and go to sleep?"

"Correct." 

"Good night, Mom. Wait! Mom!"

"Bob."

"Mom, this is important. I really want a trail mix in my lunch tomorrow. Also I love you."

Monday, December 9, 2013

Carol Confusion



"Mom, who's Timmy?"

"I'm not sure who you mean."

"In that Christmas song. It goes, 'Timmy's having a wonderful Christmastime.'"

"No, they're saying 'Simply having a wonderful Christmastime.'"

"Oh. Okay... So who's Timmy then?"



Saturday, December 7, 2013

Friday, December 6, 2013

With a Z


"Bob?"

"Yez?"

"I need you to put your clothes in the hamper."

"Okayz."

"Will you do that now, please?"

"Yez, Momz."

"What's up with the way you're talking?"

"It's my new accentz."





Thursday, December 5, 2013

Multi-Lingual


"Brgermaln."

"What did you say, Bob?"

"Brmelgrop."

"Barrel crop?'"

"Bramlgropl."

"What?"

"Mom, I'm speaking caveman."






Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Under Construction


"Mom, I need to taste the candies."

"They're for decorating the gingerbread house, not eating."

"But if I don't taste them how do I know which part of the house they're for?"



Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Seasonal Humor

They call it "dreidel." I call it "gambling."

"Mom, hey Mom. I have a holiday joke."

"Lay it on me."

"What do snowmen eat for breakfast?"

"I don't know, what?"

"Ice Crispies. Get it? It sounds like rice."

"And the snowman is made of snow and he might eat ice."

"Good one, Mom. That's like an extra joke in there."




Monday, December 2, 2013

Marathon Man

Jeff and his father, Bob Rosenberg, circa 1980

Mr. Rosenberg is the maniac runner in the family. (I am the avid sitter and sometimes low-speed walker.) He is currently in training for the LA Marathon taking place in March. He will be running in just a few hours, more miles than I care to drive in a day.

This is a very personal event for him. He is running with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Team in Training and will be raising funds to help find cures and better treatments for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkins disease and myeloma. 

He will be running in honor of family friend Randy Peterson who is currently undergoing stem cell treatment. He will also be running in memory of his father, Robert N. Rosenberg, who passed away in 1987 after a battle with leukemia.

To find out more you can visit his fundraising page:



Sunday, December 1, 2013

Friday, November 29, 2013

The Report

video

Thanksgiving was wonderful. Terrific family and friends and food.
And these guys.
Super grateful over here.



Thursday, November 28, 2013

The Thanksgivukkah Present


For night one of Hanukkah, we got Bob a block set. It is 400 overpriced, identical pieces of pine. To me this seems like the equivalent of giving your kid a big cardboard box, a big, empty, overpriced cardboard box. Of course, he loves it. And we're suckers.

Wishing you a Happy Hanukkah and a Thanksgiving filled with love and gratitude.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

That Time In Tenth Grade


Today some friends and I are telling stories about things gone wrong. 
Read about their fantastic fiascoes at:





And check out the post that inspired this blog hop by Alexandra from Good Day, Regular People.


In my sophomore year in high school I was fifteen, old enough to start driver’s education classes. At the beginning of the semester we studied the rules of the road via the Department of Motor Vehicles information booklets. Next, we were horrified by the gore and bad acting of the California Highway Patrol series of driving instruction films, Red Asphalt and The Last Prom. Then for weeks, we sat in the simulator, a small trailer with rows of “driver’s seats” facing a film screen. A machine allowed our teacher to track our success and failure as we “drove” down the simulated streets on screen. Finally, we were then able to obtain our learner’s permit and get behind the wheel of the driver’s ed car.

Our teacher, Mr. Riordan who doubled as a Spanish teacher, sat on the passenger side of the car, equipped with another brake pedal. My driving training was scheduled for the early morning hours before school. During that time, Señor Riordan would direct me and two other students on a course of his own choosing. Some mornings we drove along the shore down West Cliff Drive as the sun came up. The girls in the car were challenged to keep their eyes on the road while surfers changed into wetsuits next to their Volkswagons. 

Other mornings, Señor Riordan would lead us down windy back roads to a small diner where he would go in to get a cup of coffee and read the paper, leaving us behind in the parking lot. Even now, while driving exceptionally sharp turns, I hear his monotone voice in my head, “Break in, accelerate out. Break in to the turn, accelerate out.”

My final task was to master the manual transmission with my mom as my teacher. I was eager to show her all I had learned. On the day I started, my hands looked out of place to me in the ten and two position grasping the steering wheel of our blue 1979 Toyota Celica liftback. After fighting the stick shift out of neutral and into first gear, I eased the clutch out as I stepped on the gas, jerking the car to an abrupt stop, the Toyota's engine dying in the process. I restarted the car and repeated this move as we made our way down our street three feet at a time. 

I was near tears as I finally had success moving forward. I stepped on the gas, the engine straining in first, and then promptly killed the car again as I tried to shift into second. And then I did it again. And again. Finally the transmission screeched as I somehow managed to change gears. Picking up speed I veered wildly, jumped the curb, plowing down three garbage cans in my neighbor’s yard before coming to a screeching stop against a mailbox post. 

I sat behind the wheel and wailed to my mom that I would never be able to drive this, or any car. “I’m never driving again and I’m obviously moving to a convent and becoming a nun,” I cried and wiped my nose on my sleeve as I explained that I was pretty sure that nuns didn’t have to drive since they just got driven around in nun vans or something and that was my only logical life choice unless I planned to kill somebody and hadn’t she seen Red Asphalt? My mom quietly got out of the car and changed seats with me. 

I would not have believed then that my next three cars would be stick shifts. My current car is an automatic but some days I still find my foot reaching for the clutch. 




Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Physics and Fro-yo


"... so see Bob, the future is always later from now."

"But Felix, what's the difference between the future and five minutes away?"

"Five minutes away is the future."

"But what about when the five minutes is finally here? It's not the future."

"Now isn't the future but then later it is."

"How much later?"

"I'm not sure."

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Bob's Brown Bag Gratitude Tree


The leaves read:

I am grateful for
Daniel
Aaron
Ms. Lewis
Sebastian
Nature and God
Daniel (again)

And no mention of the parents. Ahem.

Friday, November 22, 2013

BFFs

Adam and Eve
Needlepoint, Ruth Rosenberg, circa 1970s

"Mom, who's your very best friend?"

"I'm lucky. I have Dad, and Aunt Jen, and Auntie Karen..."

"My best friend is God."



Thursday, November 21, 2013

What I Like About You


"Mom, you know who's cute?"

"You?"

"Yeah, but besides me."

"Who?"

"Ali from my class. She's really cute. She wears a Buzz Lightyear jacket and she acts like a kitty.""


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Vocabulary


"Dad, don't rub Mom's shoulders. You're not a butler."

"I 'm a husband. How do you know what a butler is?"

"I know it's like a servant."

"I think you just like saying butler because it has "but" in it."

"No I don't... BUTT-ler. BUTT-ler. BUTT-ler... It is pretty good."



Tuesday, November 19, 2013

It's Not An Excuse, It's An Explanation


"Mom? You know why I don't always get 100% on my spelling test?"

"Tell me."

"Because if I'm always 100% perfect, all of the girls will go crazy for me and chase me around everywhere and want to marry me."



Monday, November 18, 2013

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Friday, November 15, 2013

After the Bell


"Is today the day I'm going to Desmond's?"

"No Felix, you're going home."

"Are you guys coming over?"

"No, I think Bob and Bob's mom are just walking you home today."

"Yeah, because your brother is taking a nap."

"My brother?"

"Not your brother Desmond, Felix's brother."

"So no one is coming over?"

"We're all just going home. We're not doing anything good today."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Check Up


"Mom? What did the nurse call the pee again?"

"Urine."

"And that's the same word as all pee?"

"Yes."

"And I go in the cup?"

"Yep."

"Because they just want to see if I can do it?"







Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I Embrace It


"Mom is weyerd
and Felix is weyerd
and John is weyerd
and Bob is weyerd"

At least I have top billing.


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Believe


"Mom? Have you ever had a Sasquatch encounter?"

"Not that I know of. Have you?"

"Not yet."

"Why is Sasquatch on your mind?"

"There's a new show about people looking for him. Me and Felix are going to the woods to find the Bigfoot Sasquatch."

"What will you use to lure him in?"

"We're going to bring a lot of lizards. We're pretty sure he like lizards."