Saturday, December 31, 2011

Friday, December 30, 2011

Lucky Pennies


This season, Bob was back for his third annual holiday shopping trip to the 99 Cent Store. His choices were thoughtful and most excellent.

For Jeff
Package of hooks and screws "For Dad's workshop." (What workshop?)
Bar of soap "For the sweating."

For Bajan (Jeff's Mom)
Package of white daisy napkin rings "What are these?"
Eyeshadow "Ladies like make up."

For MeeMee (My Mom)
Blue plastic vase with faux red roses "She can put it on her table for beauty."
Sparkly adhesive fingernail decorations "Glittery."

For Aunt Jill (Jeff's Sister)
Glass vase "For flowers or other things."
Liquid hand soap with goldfish decorations "They aren't real fish. I'll tell her."

For Aunt Jen (Bob's Godmother)
Orange flashlight "In case her electricity goes out like ours."
Snowman window decals "She's really into snowmen."

For Pops (Jeff's Step-dad)
Bar of soap "Because he does exercise too."
Large bag of tortilla chips "Because old guys like chips, mostly."

For Me
Package of 175 gold safety pins "Because they are golden like pirate treasure."
White beaded necklace with silver-toned starfish pendant "They are all jewels."

They are all jewels.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Who, Me?


"Mom? I love you so much."

"I love you so much too, Babe."

"Mom? I love you so much even though you sometimes use bad language."

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Prepared


"Jeff, do you have any cash?"

"No, sorry, Honey."

"Hey Mom? I have cash."

"Thanks, Bob. Can I borrow some to pay for the parking?"

"How much do you need?"

"Ten dollars."

"Okay, I'll give you a ten dollar and then also a penny with it, just in case."

Monday, December 26, 2011

G'Morning


"Hey, Bob? It's time to wake up."

"I can't. It's so nice and warm in this bed."

"Come on, Sweetheart. You need to get up now."

"But it's all cuddly in here."

"Bob."

"Mom, I'm just not available."

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry and Merriest to You

Our Star Wars Christmas Cake, decorations courtesy of Bob Rosenberg
"Hey Dad? You wanna lick this plane?"
Merry Christmas.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Merry 80's Christmas

"Smile you guys! Lisa will be posting this on her blog in 30 years!"

Because I like any excuse to show off my fancy 80's perm, once again I am sharing this memento from my 1981 holiday job at the Capitola Mall. My friend Scott is the 17-year-old Santa. Happy and Merry.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Thursday, December 22, 2011

What to Wear to Von's by Bob Rosenberg


Early Morning Trip to the Grocery Store:
Lego Star Wars Pajamas - Check
Old Navy Hoodie (2 sizes too small) - Check
Fireman Rain Boots - Check
Santa Hat - Check

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Latkes Plus


"Mom? I love Christmas and Hanukkah. Christmas is good because we get to see our family and Hanukkah is good because of all the sour cream."

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A Man, A Plan


"Hey, Mama? I'm making a plan for 2012."

"What's your plan?"

"I'm going to learn to do back flips in the water at swim class."

"Good one."

"And I want to have lots of play-dates and do gymnastics."

"Cool."

"I also think we need to go on lots of vacations."

"I like the way you think, Rosenberg."

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Set Up


"Hey, Mom! You know what I want for Christmas?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do."

"No, you know what I want for Christmas?"

"Yes, Bob. I've seen your list many times."

"Mom, really. You know what I want for Christmas?"

"What, Bob?"

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth! Gotcha! I heard that on the radio, Mom."

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Smacksy Sunday Links


A beautiful letter regarding the truth about Santa.

Good news, news.

And you guys? Two minutes and forty-three seconds of an owl petting a dog.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Vi's Check Up


To the untrained eye, this appears to be a cat in a carrier waiting in the vet's office. In reality, it is a box of attitude.

Friday, December 16, 2011

El Chrismukkah


"Mom? When Dad brings his guitar to school tomorrow, what's he going to sing?"

"He'll sing The Dreidel Song."

"And Jingle Bells?"

"Yep."

"He should sing Feliz Navidad for my friend Mateo."

"Excellent."

Thursday, December 15, 2011

It's a Number


"Hey, Mom? What are you? Forty-five? Forty-six? Forty-eight?

"Bob? Why are you doing this to me?"

"I don't know."

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Thanks, Santa


"Mom? What did you get me for Christmas last year?"

"Hmm... I don't remember."

"That's because you didn't get me anything. Only Santa did."

"Some of your gifts were from me. We opened everything so fast maybe you just didn't know what was from who."

"Mom, you should use tags this year. You know, tags?"

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Christmas Q and A


"So, Mom? Is the North Pole near Michigan?"

"Not exactly."

"Do Santa's pets go on the sleigh on Christmas and if they stay home, who lets them outside to go to the bathroom?"

"I don't think pets go in the sleigh and Mrs. Claus lets them out or maybe there's a pet-elf?"

"Are reindeers turbo? Is that how they go so fast?"

"Yes."

Monday, December 12, 2011

Oh, Christmas Tree!


As Jeff carried our Christmas tree through the lot, Bob ran ahead of him shouting, "Hey, Everybody! Look how strong my dad is!"

Friday, December 9, 2011

The Mysterious


"Mom? Who puts the notes inside my Advent calendar every night?"

"Hmm. Who do you think does it?"

"A flying cat with one human hand who's kind of an elf and is one of Santa's pets."

"Okay then."

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Hey!


"Bob, please get your feet off the wall."

"Okay, Dad."

"Bob? What are you doing with the remote?"

"Nothing, Mom."

"Honey, please don't pull my bookmark out of the book."

"Hey! When is somebody going to like my behavior?"

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Named


"Mom? I have a new middle name I made up for myself."

"What's that?"

"Jay, Master of Lightning."

"Like in your Ninjago Legos?"

"Yeah. My full name is Robert Edward Jay Master of Lightning Lego Zone Rosenberg."

"I like it."

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Check, Please


"Here you go, Sir." The waiter winked as he set down Bob's plate.

"Thank you." Bob waited until the waiter walked away and then whispered, "Mom, shouldn't I tell him my real name?"

Monday, December 5, 2011

Things I Learned During 4 Days Without Electricity


We got off lucky with the giant wind storm that ravaged our town last week. We didn't lose our cars or home as some did. All we lost was our electricity. I am grateful to all of the friends and family who offered their electrified homes for our use, but hanging out in our cold, dark pad for a few days, I learned some things.

1. If everyone and the pets sleep inside the Star Wars fort on the bed, it is warmer than sleeping in that same bed sans fort. Nevertheless, the experience is a reminder of why winter camping is best avoided.

2. If your kid is sick and you try to use an electronic thermometer to take his temperature, it will malfunction if the room you are in is colder than 65 degrees. You might not know this so you will think the thermometer is broken and brave a late night Rite Aid run for a new thermometer and then the new one won't work either for that same reason. Also consider reading the manual the first time you buy one of those fancy thermometers, Hot Pants.

3. However many battery operated lanterns you have will not provide enough light to pluck your eyebrows with any degree of accuracy. Related: I would be the first one kicked off Survivor.

4. If you are behind on the laundry when the power goes out, by day four you will find yourself wearing tan dress slacks and a child's size 6 Gryffindor t-shirt.

5. If you drive three towns over to an open Target to buy a warm hat, four different people will comment that the new hat makes you look like a 1970's Mary Tyler Moore. You will decide to take this as a compliment and later ask Mr. Grant for a raise because you've got spunk.

6. Buying one of those solar powered cell phone chargers would have been a good way to spend a few bucks two weeks ago.

7. If you don't open your fridge for four days when the power is off, when you finally open the door, you will get the smells you deserve.

Batten down everyone, it's winter or something.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Smacksy Sunday Links


The tiny origami apartment is super cool. Where would I put all my books?

How handy is this?

And one minute and nineteen seconds of swinging bulldogs.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Friday, December 2, 2011

What You Get With a Lights Off Day by Bob Rosenberg


1. You get to stay home because school is canceled because there was a giant wind that stopped the electricity and you can't even watch Cyber Chase because the TV needs the electricity.

2. You get to set up your Clone Wars tent on the bed and use the camping lantern.

3. You get to listen to Christmas music on the battery radio.

4. You get to go for a walk and see a ton of sticks everyplace.

5. You get a hot lunch of a quesadilla with lots of fridge leftovers in it.

6. You get to stay in pajamas all day even for the walk and it's kind of the best day ever.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Backstage Pass


This morning, Bob emerged from his room wearing sweatpants, a striped t-shirt, and rain boots.

"Hey, Mom? I have a question for you."

"Okay."

"Do I look like a rock star?"

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Smarterer


"Mom? Is Dad smarter than you?"

"About some things, definitely."

"Like Legos?"

"Yeah..."

"And cooking?"

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

What's Your Point?


"How was school, Bob?"

"Mom? Did you do running?"

"No, why?"

"You're wearing clothes for running."

"I didn't do running."

"Exercising then?"

"These are actually called yoga pants."

"You did yoga?"

"How was school?"

Monday, November 28, 2011

Man Down


"Mom? Captain Rex is sick."

"What's wrong with him?"

"He has a chill and a fever but mostly a chill."

"Are you helping him?"

"Yeah. I put him to bed and covered him up and gave him some bedtime friends and took his temperature."

"Sounds like you're taking very good care of him."

"All he needs now to get well is some of the leftover Halloween candy. Mom, he likes mini-peanut butter cups."

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Smacksy Sunday Link


I generally post three links on Sundays but I love this video so much I'm only posting one. This is a gorgeous Ted talk on nature, beauty, and gratitude. It's perfect for Thanksgiving Sunday and totally worth the less than 10 minute time investment.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Thanks A Lot, Katy Perry


"Why did you turn off that song, Mom?"

"I thought we should listen to a different radio station."

"Because the song said, 'There's a stranger in my bed'?"

"Yep."

"I know. I would be so worried if there was a stranger in my bed. That song is too scary."

"It is, Bob."

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Big Deals


"Mom? What's the most important thing in the world?"

"Um... Love?"

"That's important but not the most important."

"What's the most important, Bob?"

"Not letting the planet blow up."

"Good one."

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A Very Smacksy Thanksgiving Menu


Okay, so I haven't posted recipes in a long time but Thursday is Turkey Day and I assume you're all still eaters . If you're here in the States you may be wanting these recipes about now and if you're somewhere else you might want to go for it anyway because this stuff is just good.

First - This is the story of my rad stuffing that I've been making since the 80s. It's magic.

Then - There is this recipe for twice baked sweet potatoes I got from La Martha.
*Hint: Re-stuffing the sweet potatoes is a tremendous pain in the yam, so I just take the filling and spread it in a casserole dish and bake it with the toppings that way. Fabulous.

Next - I'm trying this for the first time this year - it's a new take on the old green bean casserole from Michael Chiarello. He did seem like a turd that season he was on Top Chef Masters, but his recipe looks really good. *I just might use those old-school fried onions in the can instead of frying my own and by "might" I mean I already bought a can of them.

Last - There will be pie: pumpkin and pecan. It may not be fancy, but the best recipe for the pumpkin is on the side of the pumpkin can and the greatest recipe for the pecan is on the back of the Karo syrup bottle. I know, but trust me on this. *The key with the pecan is to cut the pecan pieces really small.

I have a lot of eating to do over the next couple of days to train for Thursday.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Me Too


"Do you want the turkey sandwich, Bob?"

"No."

"Chicken?"

"No, Mom. I want the sugar sandwich."

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Smacksy Sunday Links

Thanks to my friend Spider for pointing me in the direction of the glorious Dog Fort.

Enjoying this peek into Lucy Chadwick's homes from The Selby via Zara.

And Lovely Owl, of course, Lovely Owl.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Vintage Typo


You guys? I love vintage linens. I bought these hand-embroidered pillowcases on eBay without looking at the photos too closely. I'm no grammar expert, but that crazy misplaced apostrophe makes my OCD all itchy. I am proud to say that I'm letting it go and not pulling those little apostrophe threads out. Letting it go. Everyday. This is me letting it go.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Time Turning


"Mom? Did you know in Harry Potter there's a Time Turner where you can go to other times?"

"Where would you go if you had a Time Turner, Bob?"

"I would go right to my birthday."

"But then you'd miss Christmas and Hannukah."

"Oh, yeah. I'd go to Thanksgiving and Christmas and Hannukah and then my birthday."

"I would really miss you if I only got to see you on holidays."

"Mom? The Time Turner isn't real."

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

'Tis That Season


"Mom. Your birthday was in September."

"That's right."

"When's the next birthday?"

"Well let's see... MeeMee's is in January."

"Someone else has a birthday before MeeMee."

"Who?"

"Jesus. It's called Christmas, Mom."

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Research


"MeeMee? Is the writer of Harry Potter a boy?"

"The author is a lady named J.K. Rowling."

"How does she know so much about boys? She must have a lot of boyfriends."

Monday, November 14, 2011

Look, Mom!


I hear, "Look, Mom!"
And, "Watch this, Mom!"
And, "See what I can do, Mom?"
It's not always convenient to look up
To watch
To see what he can do
And then I remember
I read somewhere
That, "Look, Mom!"
Is one of the ways a child says
I love you
And then I'm happy to look up
And watch
And see
And be loved