Sunday, August 20, 2017

Smacksy Sunday Links


When you manage to wear out the third electronic coffee machine in as many years, it might be time to go manual.

Annie Dillard's classic essay. 'Total Eclipse.' (It's available on the Atlantic until Tuesday.)

Would you rather be the last days of summer or the first days of fall?

Amazing new books to read this fall. So many choices...

I was fortunate enough to stand under this art installation once and I still think about it.

And a box of kittens.

Happy Sunday.


Thursday, August 17, 2017

I Have a Few Tiny Issues


My thoughts: I can't take an egg from the middle of the dozen. Who would do that? Actually, I can do this. Watch me. I'm going to mix it up. I don't have to do everything in order. Check me out. This is probably really good for my brain to do something differently. This just looks wrong though. I mean, it's out of order. Am I really going to take an egg from the middle like an animal? I am going to leave it like this and close the crate and put it back in the fridge. I will not change it. Will not. Not going to change it. I'm taking a photo of this. There. It's back in the fridge. I will not think about those eggs sitting in there out of order. At all. They're fine. They're just fine. The eggs are fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine. They're just eggs. Out of order. 





Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The First Day of School



It's the first day of school. The dogs have made it clear that they do not approve and would rather have Bob home with them. I tried explaining to them that now their days are their own and they can hang out and drink coffee on the back porch and cruise their social media accounts without interruptions but they don't seem to be buying it.

I've tried to get them away from thoughts of how time is speeding up. They keep harping on how Bob's first day of fifth grade only serves as a reminder of how it seems like just ten minutes ago that Bob was starting pre-school. I try to explain how time works and then request that they stop speaking in tired, suburban clichés.

They have suggested homeschooling Bob and have volunteered to monitor P.E. in the backyard and help Bob write a report about sharks. (They're really into sharks.)

They walk past his room and sigh.
They sit at the front window and sigh.
They order things they don't need off of Amazon and sigh.
They survey the contents of the fridge and close the door without getting anything out.
And then they sigh.

I reminded them, that Bob is walking home with Felix as usual and should be rolling in the door around 3:00pm. They checked the time on my phone and then just stared at me. They still don't understand how time works. Who does, really?



Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Technically, It's Not Baseball


"Hey, Mom - you wanna come see? I have to rest up for the game tonight so I put together a puzzle."




Sunday, August 13, 2017

Smacksy Sunday Links

Summer night coffee on the porch with Mr. Rosenberg.

"Because you are touching the divine." Beautiful words of advice.

Ask for the mug.

Oh my goodness, this couple.

Inside 40 artist studios.

And cats in pumpkin hats ringing bells for food.

Happy Sunday.





Saturday, August 12, 2017

Friday, August 11, 2017

I Love Bob So I Will Sleep On His Shoes


In an effort to help Teddy and Levi get themselves together, the whole family is going through some dog training. These boys are the nicest, but apparently it's not necessary for them to have the run of the house.
Who knew?
So, old dogs, new tricks. And by that I mean me, Bob, and Mr. Rosenberg.
Story developing.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Bedfellows


When I try to get in bed, these guys immediately secure the perimeter leaving me with a little less than 15% of the real estate. 

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

That Too


"I can really see all of your hard work with your swing, Bob. You're a monster."

"A monster?"

"Yeah! You're doing great."

"Mom, "monster" isn't really a compliment. I think you mean I'm a beast."




Tuesday, August 8, 2017

See This Movie


Years ago, I sat "behind the glass" at a focus group for a comedy pilot I produced. The panel of audience members discussed the show specifically and then went on to talk about comedy in a general way. At one point in the conversation, they agreed that comedy was what gets them through the awful parts of life. Specifically, they shared about 9-11 and how they each turned to different types of comedy as a way to cope with the national tragedy. For me, it was a reminder that comedy, like storytelling, like music, is noble, lifesaving work.  Comedy is a healing and sacred language that has the potential to save the world.

My friend Jordan Brady produced and directed a new film, I Am Battle Comic that was released today. It's a funny and sometimes heartbreaking look at the importance of comedy, and the comedians who travel the world to entertain our troops. You will laugh and you will cry and  you will come away from it reminded that comedy is one of the most powerful things we have going for us as humans.

Click here to see where you can watch the film right now.



Monday, August 7, 2017

The One Where I Show You All the Garage


This is our garage. It's being generous to say that it's a one-car garage because yes, you can pull one car in, but then there is no room on either side to get a door open. We decided to use the spot for a bit of storage and a music practice space for Mr. Rosenberg. It has now been transformed by our beloved handyman, Mr. Jerry.






I am pretty excited about it.



Sunday, August 6, 2017

Saturday, August 5, 2017

Super Wish This Didn't Happen


"Over here, Bob! I see protractors down here!"

"Thanks, Mom."

"Here you go."

"That's not a protractor."

"Yes it is."

"No, it actually isn't. It's a compass."

"I know it says that but compass is another word for protractor."

"Mom? You are completely wrong about this. Look. This is a protractor. It even says it on the package. Protractor here  - and this one's a compass."

"That's weird. Why would they label that half-round ruler a protractor?'

"Oh my God, Mom. Really?"





Twilight


It's all beautiful.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

My New Mantra



Bob and I have been trying out a three-minute meditation app to help with his baseball focus and my everything focus. We have had varying degrees of success with trying not to giggle through the whole thing. This morning, we were assigned a "Mindful Walking" meditation. We were to breathe deeply and feel our feet making contact with the floor as we walked slowly through the house. We made it about a minute and a half in and then as Bob and I passed each other in the hallway, he busted into an impromptu dance break. In the process of the get down, he accidentally stomped on my left foot and elbowed me in the chest.

"S**t!"

I think I have a new mantra.






Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Hiding Out


Teddy is afraid of loud noises. When he is frightened, he squeezes into a small space in the bathroom in front of the sink and won't come out until the storm has passed. Yesterday it was 100° and humid. In the afternoon, there was a light thunder storm. Teddy ran to his spot in the bathroom and Bob didn't want him to be alone.



Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Far Out


To celebrate our wedding anniversary last month, Mr. Rosenberg and I went to dinner at a lovely restaurant in Topanga Canyon, Inn of the Seventh Ray. Topanga has a reputation for being the last LA holdout of the 1960s. It's a lovely rustic place with a distinctly counter-culture-y vibe. It reminds me some of Northern California, where I grew up.

While we were waiting for our table, Mr. R and I ducked into the restaurant bookshop to have a look around. We entered into a cloud of Electric Musk incense and burning sage. I coughed and took in the woven dream catchers, bowls of crystals, and stacks of new age books. I smiled at the stereotypical hippie-ness of the store. As I glanced around, I recognized the titles of a rather large number of books that I have at home. I saw decks of the same tarot cards I own and the goddess cards I read everyday. I looked through the hanging Mala meditation beads, comparing them to the ones that hang on my armoire. As I passed a mirror, I checked out my own long hair and flowing maxi dress and it finally dawned on me.

"Oh my God, Jeff. I just had a life-altering realization."

"What's that?"

"I'm a hippie."

"Yeah, and?"

"I mean the thing I've always sort of made fun of - I am it. I am an actual hippie."

"Wait, you didn't know this?"

"You did?!"

"Yeah."

"But I've always been sort of a judgmental a-hole about hippie-ness!"

"I know. I always thought you were being self-deprecating - that you'd made peace with it."

"No!"

"Oh, wow."

"Stop laughing!"

How had I missed this glaring detail about myself for the last fifty-two plus years? How did I overlook the evidence? The Prius we just dropped at the valet? The baby-wearing I did with Bob? The folk musician I married? The whole vegan thing? That I have a psychic, a kinesiologist, and a Native American medicine man listed in the contacts on my phone? The rescue dog? The garden in our backyard? The Himalayan salt lamp in our living room? The organic restaurant I was currently standing in?

"But I'm not good at yoga. I had laser hair removal. I hate patchouli. I never even played hacky sack."

"Uh huh."

"I'm not like that beekeeper/clown instructor I knew named Rock who rode a unicycle everywhere kind of hippie."

"How did you meet him?"

"In the 80s I worked for his sister-in-law Daphne at a Balinese imports store on the mall in Santa Cruz."

"Aaand scene."

















Monday, July 31, 2017

A Plan


"How's summer camp reentry back to reality going, bud?"

"It's sort of hard. I'm kind of crabby and I might have a tantrum maybe. Or maybe I'll just hang out in the bed until school starts."



Saturday, July 29, 2017

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Rx


Thursday afternoon, on our way to the car from lunch, I tripped on the sidewalk and landed on my right wrist. Again. An ER x-ray showed no fracture or break so I'm delighted to report, it's only a sprain. I've been laying low since then, mostly hanging out in bed with the best prescription I know: ice/Ibuprofin/Levi/stand-up specials. So far we've watched Tig Notaro, Mike Burbiglia, John Mulaney, and Jim Gaffigan. Levi is especially a fan of Gaffigan.







Thursday, July 27, 2017

Field Trip


On the way back home today, we stopped for lunch and later I took Mr. Rosenberg to a small petting zoo. Mr. R. made eye contact with as many llamas (alpacas?) as possible, talked to the goats, and the bunnies, fed some snacks to a cow, and hung out with some pigs, two lambs, and an ostrich. Then we came home to Teddy and Levi.

Mr. Rosenberg is getting closer and closer to his goal of being covered in animals at all times.





Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Sinks


This is the double sink vanity in our hotel bathroom. Please notice, both of our toiletries are stacked up around the sink on the left. We are both using the left-side sink exclusively. I don't know why this is happening. The right-side sink is a perfectly fine sink. I think this might be what happens when you live in an 864 square foot home and are used to sharing a bathroom the size of a phone booth. (Remember those?)




Tuesday, July 25, 2017

The Spa Robe Suits Him


He was skeptical, but I think this whole "time-off" thing might be working for Mr. Rosenberg. He tried to answer a couple of (forbidden) work emails and people on his team told him to log-off.



Monday, July 24, 2017

Newlyweds-ish


Bob is at camp this week. Mr. Rosenberg and I have taken the opportunity to leave town for our first trip, sans Bob, since we were married twelve years ago. I know. Our actual honeymoon was a trip we took when I was already five months pregnant, so technically, Bob was with us too.

I won't lie. This is pretty great.




Sunday, July 23, 2017

Smacksy Sunday Links


Things to remember when your heart is breaking.

Ways to feed your intellect.

Generosity, happiness, and the brain.

I have read some terrific books in the past couple of years, but the book I read last week is, by far, my favorite.

Dreamy sun-bleached images of swimming pools.

And I love this cat story. (I've known humans like Mason.)

Happy Sunday.





Friday, July 21, 2017

Thursday, July 20, 2017

At Work


I'm at the point in my career where I have a corner office with a view and three admins. I'm still waiting for an executive washroom.




Wednesday, July 19, 2017

White Out


Yes, the photo booth seemed to have some lighting issues. But the sentiment is outstanding.



Tuesday, July 18, 2017

He's on the Seven Day DL


Bob's knee has been sore for the past week. Today, the doctor said it's an over-use injury and he needs to stay off of it for the next week. He'll be missing two ball games and one practice but will hopefully be back in action in time to leave for sleep-away camp on Sunday. Until then, compression, ice, elevation, rest, Pokémon Go, the MLB Channel, and lots of popsicles.




Monday, July 17, 2017

Codependent but so Cute


Seriously. I can't get enough of these two. (That's a good thing because they are up in all my business all the time.) They walk around shoulder to shoulder and generally like to hang out a few inches away from each other as often as possible. I would like to eat them with a giant dog spoon because of their extreme deliciousness. Now you know everything.


Thursday, July 13, 2017

The Bigger the Hair, the Closer to God

*I bought this sweater at Foxmoor Casuals in the Capitola Mall with babysitting money.

In 1978, the summer before ninth grade, I made a trip to my mom's hometown in the panhandle of Texas. I hung out with some local teenage girls who were beauty queens. Miss Borger, and Miss West Texas Panhandle were beautiful girls with big, beautiful, Texas beauty pageant hairstyles. I wanted to look just like them. While I was there, I got a layered haircut, a plastic box of hot rollers, and a fresh can of Aqua Net.  The results were not tiara-worthy.

When I got back to California, I spent the mornings before school, fighting my hair with a giant round brush while trying not to burn the tops of my ears with the spiky rollers. Every day by third period, regardless of the thick shellac covering my head, the big, bouncy curls wilted in the fog of my seaside hometown. I lived in the wrong territory for hair that was, as my mom would say, "bigger than Dallas."





Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Levi Rosenberg, MD


In case you weren't 100% sure that Levi is 1,000% awesome, whenever he gets the chance he has been licking the wound on Mr. Rosenberg's knee. The internet jury's out on whether this is optimal first aid or not but there is a French saying, "Langue de chien, langue de médecin" which translates to "A dog's tongue is a doctor's tongue." (I'd definitely rather see Levi licking Mr. Rosenberg's knee than our internist, Dr. Huizenga, licking Mr. Rosenberg's knee. Also, Levi has a lower office visit rate.) 

The spitty point is, Levi is taking care of Mr. R and his sweet efforts are appreciated. 





Monday, July 10, 2017

Ice Cream Man


On Friday night, Bob's baseball team had to forfeit the second game in a tournament because they didn't have enough players for the lineup. This knocked them out of the tournament entirely. The guys were understandably disappointed. We decided to all meet for dinner and then headed over to a ball field nearby for a game of parents versus the kids. (I was, as always, the scorekeeper.)

Mr. Rosenberg was never really a ballplayer. He had a year or two of little league around first or second grade. He played tennis in high school and has run a number of triathlons over the years but baseball wasn't his thing. In his first at bat of our little game, he hit a ground ball past second, and as he took off running, he slipped on home plate and went down hard on his knee. He got up and made it to first, bleeding. On his second at bat, he hit a home run over the fence driving in two runs.

In Bob's league, it's a tradition that when a player is up to bat with bases loaded, all of the players yell "Ice Cream Man!" If the player hits a grand slam, then the parents have to buy ice cream for the whole team after the game. On his third at bat, Mr. Rosenberg hit a grand slam, tying up the game.

It was a very warm night. We were playing quickly to end our last inning before we ran out of daylight. The moon was almost full in the sky and everyone was laughing and cheering each other on. The mom sitting next to me leaned over and said, "It's kind of perfect right now, isn't it?"

The kids ended up winning the game 11 to 10.

I commented to Bob, "You and Dad were both big hitters tonight."

"It must be in our blood, Mom," he said.

After the game, we all walked down the block and Mr. Rosenberg bought everyone ice cream.





Sunday, July 9, 2017

Sunday Links



You can't waste good.

Selective Attention: If you are looking for reasons to be happy, you'll probably find them.

Receiving your summer life.

Refresh your personal library.

A pretty great list of driving songs. (I would add Low Rider by War.)

Life around this tree.

And a kitten eating ice cream.

Happy Sunday.



Saturday, July 8, 2017

Smacksy Saturday Photo: The Call is Coming From INSIDE the House



You guys. It's not like I don't check the zucchini plant everyday. I do. This whopper came up OVERNIGHT. For the photo, I put it next to the dogs for scale. To be most accurate, I'll just say it's roughly the size of our Prius.



Thursday, July 6, 2017

Summer Afternoon


When it's too hot outside and you've used up all your screen time and you already ate lunch and then finished a board game, then you read. *Extra points if you can spot Levi in this photo.



Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Shuffle



When I'm driving, I have my iPhone bluetooth connected to the car stereo. My song library is always on shuffle. I like the unpredictability of not knowing which one of my favorite songs is about to become my new soundtrack. Today, this song came on. It's a beautiful one by Mr. Rosenberg's former band, Lavender Diamond. I didn't realize how much I'd been missing it. 






Tuesday, July 4, 2017

We Hold These Truths


I love this message. And I always love a long tracking shot.
Happy Independence Day.



Monday, July 3, 2017

3rd of July


Today is a Monday (mail delivery, grocery store, baseball practice) that feels like a Sunday (naps, breakfast out, Mr. Rosenberg home from work). But for Teddy and Levi, every day is a Sunday because they're basically retired. It's a good life.