Friday, December 31, 2010


Me and Bob back in my ninth month on the mom job

It's a special day.
Today is the last day of the year.
Today is also my 600th smacksy post.
Thank you for spending a little part of your days here.
I am thrilled to spend part of my days with you.
And really? Every day is special.
That's what it's all about.

Thursday, December 30, 2010


It's resolution season and I've been thinking. Not 4am freak-out thinking, but something a tad more constructive than my usual late night over-thinks. I've come up with a few changes I'd like to focus on around here. Most of the changes focus on acceptance:

1. I will accept that my boy is done with trucks unless they are Clone Turbo Tanks from Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.

2. I will accept that no matter how many adorable Gap Kids outfits the small man has, he will always prefer to wear Star Wars Lego pajamas.

3. I will accept that my days of going barefoot in my own home are over unless I would like to suffer the constant pain of errant Star Wars Legos stabbing into the soft part of my arches.

4. I will accept that I may never remember the correct pronunciation for Coruscant, Kashyyk, Geonosians, and Zunama Sekot but my kid will never forget.

5. I will accept that I will be expected to participate in a minimum of four daily light saber battles on the back patio. I will also accept that I will never win a light saber battle on the back patio.

6. I will accept that Bob's new (Labrador-sized) Imperial AT-AT: All Terrain Armored Transport is just a toy and stop introducing it as our new dog, "Merv."

Can I get an Amen?

If you just can't get enough of me and my resolutions, my new column up over at Main Street this week deals with resolutions of a more financial style.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


"Mom? Do you remember that bad dream I had last night about the monsters who were eating me?"

"I remember."

"I'm afraid of monsters and I need you to fall me asleep tonight."

"I will but you know there are no real monsters, right?"

"But there are in my dreams."

"While you're dreaming can you tell the monsters that your dreams are an NMZ?"

"What's that?"

"A No Monster Zone."

"Maybe I can, but it might be easier if I just take them by their monster hands and throw them off of the world."

"Yep. That sounds easier."

Tuesday, December 28, 2010




"I really love you so much."

"Thanks, Mom... Mom?"


"I really love Mace Windu so much."


"I mean a lot."

"Got it."

Monday, December 27, 2010

Worth Every Penny

Bob made his second annual trip to the 99 Cent Store to do his Christmas shopping. The results were spectacular. With careful consideration, he managed to find an item that was somehow perfect for each recipient on his list...

For Jeff: A pair of aviator sunglasses
"Just like the ones he has but with no scratches!"

For Bajan (Jeff's Mom): An angel figurine holding a small red heart
"She'll like the wings-lady."

For Pops (Jeff's Stepdad): A calculator
"Pops will know how to use this with the numbers."

For Mee Mee (My Mom): A blue vase with a shell pattern around the top
"Because Mee Mee likes the beach."

For Aunt Jill (Jeff's Sister): A compact of assorted lip gloss
"For wearing her make ups."

For Aunt Jen (Bob's Godmother): A green vase
"Because Aunt Jen really likes green."

And for me, his mother...

A pint of Hydrogen Peroxide Solution
"Because it's so super good."

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links

Photo via We Heart It

Here is a Christmas classic by Lenny and the Squigtones from my all-time-favorite sitcom, Laverne and Shirley.

And then a sweet holiday story about a couple and Santa and mistaken identity. Via my friend Michael.

And some post-punk alpacas. You heard me.

Happy Sunday.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Santa Claus is Coming... In Through the Patio Door

Today is the last day of advent. Our sweet, wooden advent calendar has been opened every day by my son Bob. The month started with two weeks worth of tiny, individually wrapped Star Wars toys. By the third week, Bob was opening his daily door to reveal little chocolates and his favorite candy: peanut butter cups. This past week's crazy busyness is evidenced by Bob opening the teensy doors to find cash crammed into the little compartments. He will open the last one this morning.

Tonight will find a group of us at my mom's place. As tradition dictates, Bob, my sister-in-law, my in-laws, and Bob's godmother and I will all pile into my mom's guest bathroom. Since my mom doesn't have a fireplace, we will leave her and my husband out in the living room to let Santa inside the house to fill all of our stockings. As we each hold our breath and listen to the sound of sleigh bells and Santa ho, ho, ho-ing his way through the living room, Bob will barely be able to contain his excitement. Neither will we.

And Christmas will begin.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Away in a Manger, Baby!

Apparently these Wise Men arrived via dune buggy. Camels are so year one.

When I came upon this little scene, I was reminded of this little scene over at Jeni's. (I think our boys are soul brothers.)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Reconnaissance Mission

"Bob? If daddy is going to be able to work from home today we're going to have to be very quiet."

"Why is the bedroom door closed?"

"He's on a conference call and he needs some privacy."

"Then I will have to spy on him?"


"I am good at sneaking."

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Super Top Secret

"Mom? I made a super secret passageway for the good guy Battle Droids. No one can see it except dad. Not even Brandon... except also Brandon. He can see it. My dad and Brandon and that's it and not even Jake and Will. Except Jake and Will can see it and Brandon and dad. Also JP can see it but Luis can't except that he can see it too so Luis and all those guys except not Mia except also Mia can see it and Jake and Will and JP and Luis and Brandon and dad. But that's it. It's top secret. And Ringo but that's all. It's a super secret."

Monday, December 20, 2010

Oh... Tannenbaum?

"Dad? Why does Santa have a Christmas tree?"

"For decoration, I guess?"

"But if the tree is for putting presents under and all of the presents are coming from Santa, why does he need a tree?"

"I don't know, Bob. Maybe he gives himself a present?"

"Or Mrs. Claus?"

"Oh, yeah. Good one. Mrs. Claus."

"I should probably just ask Santa."

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links

Photo via We Heart It

My friend Tracey sent me this fabulous Princess Bride light saber battle.

Here are 60 pieces of good advice.

And a blog entirely devoted to exotic baby animals. (Yay.)

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Friday, December 17, 2010

Jingle Bells by Bob Rosenberg

Jingle Bells
lyric interpretation by Bob Rosenberg
Dashing through a snow
In a soap and opens lay
Or the fees we go
Laughing on a way
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Bells on bobs on swings
Making fear-its bite
What fun it is to laugh and sing
As laying on a night
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle on a way
Oh what fun it is to write
On a soap and opens plate

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Rain-ish Man

Bob had five friends over for a mega-play-date. As the kids ran between the kitchen and Bob's bedroom, I realized that Bob wasn't among them. After a quick search I discovered him sitting alone in the backyard with a book.

"Honey? All your friends are inside. Are you okay?"

"Mom I was thinking. If I got one thousand waters on me, would I turn into rain?"

"You want to come back inside with your friends?"


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

His Dimples, How Merry...

"Mom? George Lucas looks like Santa."

"You know, you're right."

"He has that white hair and beard too."


"But there's a difference."

"Just one?"

"Yeah. George Lucas wears a watch."

Monday, December 13, 2010


On Saturday we attended a holiday party. Bob decorated a gingerbread house with another boy.

"I'm four-and-a-half. I'm Bob. What's your name?"

"I'm three-and-a-half. My name's Lucas. "

"Lucas like George Lucas? The creator of Star Wars?!"

"Um... what?"

Friday, December 10, 2010

Chocolate Milk Detante

"So, Mom? Can I have chocolate milk now? Oh, please?"

"Not right now. You can have it with dinner, Bob."

"Not at dinner! I want it now!"


"But, Mom!"

"We're going to eat soon."

"Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!"

"Enough, Bob."

"Does that mean you surrender? You should really put your hands up."

Thursday, December 9, 2010

The Latest From Fort 3.0

Bob sleeps in the fort.
Bob now refers to the fort as the "super hut."
Bob has invited me to sleep in the super hut.
High five.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel

Mr. Rosenberg came with us to pre-school today. He folded his 6'4" self into one of the little chairs and told the story of Hanukkah. He read "The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming" and made funny faces and silly sounds at all of the screaming parts. He brought his guitar and taught everyone "The Driedel Song." He sang "Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah" in a serious key. He sang a blessing so we could hear what Hebrew sounds like.

After he was done, Suzanne, the other mom in class, asked if I had just fallen in love with Mr. Rosenberg all over again. My answer was yes.

Very, very yes.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Fort 3.0

Perhaps you recall our previous forts. Those forts of old were kid stuff. They have been replaced by Bob's Hanukkah present from his godmother. The Star Wars Command Center Fort is, according to Bob, "the coolest, best fort ever on the earth in our galaxy."

The Star Wars Command Center Fort fits inside of Bob's room (barely) and currently holds:
Bob's Star Wars Lego collection
One flashlight
Crumbs from a cheese, mayonaise and bread sandwich
One slightly angry cat
"Gene" the Lego garbage truck driver
One four-year-old child
His mother

*The SWCCF also boasts wi-fi. Obviously.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Fashion Forward

Style for a Monday:
Bare Feet
Spiderman T-Shirt
16 Flag Stickers Thoughtfully Applied to Front of Sweatpants

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Smacksy Sunday Links

We're going old-school again with our tree this year (love the smell of Noble Fir) but here are some lovely eco-friendly options.

This game-changing, bow-tying brilliance comes courtesy of my friend Jennifer.

Here's my latest column over at Main Street.

And 1:47 of cats playing patty-cake.

Happy Sunday and Happy Hanukkah.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Smacksy Saturday Photo: The Alternate

I was going to post a photo of what the living room looked like covered in down after the back pillow of our couch ripped and the dog jumped on it. Instead, I am posting this photo of what the sky in the backyard looked like when I went outside to take a break from vacuuming up three garbage bags worth of feathers.

Have an outstanding Saturday.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Charmed, I'm Sure

"So, Mom?" Did you know The Tooth Fairy and The Easter Bunny live together?"

"Is this a joke set-up?"

"No. For real. They live together."

"Where did you hear about that?"

"I just am knowing it."

"Are they room mates or are they related? Are they involved?"

"They're friends, Mom. Really, really good friends. Forever. And they are magic."

Thursday, December 2, 2010


Photo via We Heart It

Bob followed me through the aisles at Trader Joe's repeating his nonsense word over and over.
And over.

"Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta..."

"Bob, that's pretty irritating."

"No, it's not. It's funny. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta...."

"Please stop."

"Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta."


"Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta. Jack-oosta...."

"If you want to watch a show when you get home, I need you to stop saying that word."



"Jack-oost. Jack-oost. Jack-oost."

"So you don't want to watch a show? You said it again."

"No I didn't. I said 'Jack-oost' not the other word you didn't want. Jack-oost. Jack-oost..."

"You got me."

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Santa's Financials

"Mom? Does Santa have a thousand dollars?"

"I don't know, Bob. For what?"

"To buy all the Christmas presents in our world."

"I think Santa and his elves make all of the presents themselves."

"Oh... So he maybe has two-thousand-one hundred dollars?"