The Gold Mining Play in Room 18

"Thinkin'? Now, what're you doin' a fool thing like that fer?"

"Perfect Bob. I think you've got all your lines memorized. What kind of voice are you going to use?"

"Um? My own voice?"

"I mean for your character. His name is 'Grubby.' Don't you think he'd sound like an old guy?"

"I'm not doing a weird voice, Mom."

"Maybe he's got a limp!"

"No, Mom."

"Maybe he's kind of hunched over, like this."

"Mom..."

"It's acting, Bob! How about a little character background? He's supposed to be panning for gold while he's talking, right? How's your space work? Maybe his teeth whistle when he talksss like thisss."

"Please stop."

Man Flu

"Mom? I'm hot but I'm also freezing."

"Uh oh."

"And my throat hurts and I have a cough."

"Okay."

"Mom! My eyes hurt when I move them in my head! And I'm not even hungry and my tummy feels weird!"

"That doesn't sound good."

"Mom? Seriously. If I can't go to school tomorrow it will be terrible because we have the dance performance on Friday and I have that line to say and we're practicing."

"Maybe you'll feel better in the morning."

"Really? How do you expect me to live like this?"

Master Spam Theater

Do Not Touch. Hot Set.

As a former basic cable television professional, I know the importance of good lighting, set decoration, and overall production value. It took at least three minutes and an under-caffeinated crew of one (+Teddy) to pull together this chair/pillow/floor lamp/computer/dog situation that I will be using as the studio for my shoot. Aaand action.

My friends and I who have blogs, get an incredible amount of spam comments everyday. Imagine the spam you get to your email about the Ugandan Prince who would like you to claim 400 pounds sterling through his off-shore account, times 1,000. Just deleting these crazy comments is a full time job. In awkward English, our spammers are trying to sell something. Often we can't figure out what that product is, exactly.

Because my friends and I never turn down the chance to look like complete asses on the internet, we have put together some dramatic readings of some of these spam posts. We call it, Master Spam Theater.

Please turn up the volume on your computer and/or phone, enjoy the following video, and let us never speak of it again.

Or click here to watch on youtube.

You will find links to the other readings below from my friends Ann Imig and Tarja Parssinen.

http://annsrants.com/
http://www.theflyingchalupa.com/