After Dinner

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"Mom? I'm full. I only have a tiny bit of room left in my stomach."

"Why don't you fill up that space with a couple of green beans?"

"It's not a green beans shaped space. It's a peanut butter cup shape."

"That's genetic."

Furniture

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"Hey, remember the 'naughty chair,' Mom?"

"Barely."

"I remember it."

"Really? We tried that once when you were two, Bob."

"Why didn't we do it anymore after that one time?"

"Because it's supposed to be like a time out but you liked it and that defeated the purpose."

"We don't do time outs either, remember?"

"Yes, I do. Same reason."

"It's still a fun chair."

"Exactly."

Smacksy Saturday Photo: Cuddly

Teddy Bear? No thanks. I insist on clutching these delightful Star Wars bandages to keep me company.

So Close and Yet Not Even Close

Riding the Pirate Ship. The bike helmet was his idea.

I pulled the station wagon out of the Arco driveway and into traffic. From the backseat Bob said, “Mama? Here is a question. Why does the car need gas?”

“Our car needs gas to give it energy to go.”

“Like I have to eat things and drink things and sleep?”

“Right. Those are the things that give you energy.” I gave myself a little high five for an educational metaphor and solid parenting.

A few days later when I was picking up Bob from pre-school, one of his teachers, Mrs.V. pulled me aside. “I wanted to share something with you that Bob said today that we thought was so funny...”

My life flashed before my eyes. I swallowed hard and smiled. “Oh, really?”

“We were in the play yard and Mia was talking about her new baby brother and she said that he had been having a hard time lately because he has a lot of gas in his tummy. Then Bob told us that he has a lot of gas too, in his head.”

“Oh.”

“He said the gas is what helps him think and do things.”

“Ah.”

“We thought he might be confused with the other kind of gas somehow.”

Solid parenting.

Wednesday Night Sleepover

Bob tucked in his Slumber party guests tonight:
Greedo
Bossk
Death Star Droid (Bob thinks this droid is C-3PO. Please don't tell him the truth.)
Darth Vader
Pack of Trident White peppermint gum

Suspect Behavior

Yeah, I don't know either but I do know it can't be good.
And again with the no pants.

That's A No For Me

I’ve never fancied myself anything close to an amazing singer but on most days I can sort of carry a tune. When driving with Bob in the car recently I sang along with the radio, belting out Little Red Corvette. A classic. After the chorus, Bob interrupted me.

“Mama? Mama! Stop that nasty noise!”

"What did you say?"

"Please, Mama. I'm saying please."

I know Bob’s a Prince fan so he was not talking about the song choice.

I heard Simon’s leaving Idol after this season so I guess there's an opening. I think Bob might have a future in television.

In a Galaxy Far, Far Away...

My husband Jeff is a musical/mathematical/computer genius-type. He fostered his nerdishness as many of his fellow nerd-men do, with an early obsession with Star Wars. In order to ensure that his genetic code for inverse hyperbolic trigonometry gets passed down to the next generation, Jeff has gifted Bob with his childhood collection of Star Wars action figures circa 1979.

Bob is still too young to see the Star Wars movie, but he loves the action figures which he affectionately refers to as his "robots." He is intent on learning all of their names and recently checked out a book from the library that lists of all the characters and their resumes. Bob has now chosen his career path.

"Mama, when I grow up I am going to be a robot teacher at Star Wars School. I'm going to teach Darth Vader not to be bad anymore. He was good before but now he's bad but I can help him remember the way to be good. I am going to teach Busk not to be so greedy anymore and only need his share and also I will teach the bounty hunter robots to only work for the good side. Oh and "Chee-backa" is just a nice guy so he won't need robot school because he is a Wookie. See this picture of R2D2? I think they took the picture in the Star Wars bathroom. It looks like that. So, also after I teach all of the robots to be good, then they can move out of Star Wars and into our neighborhood. That will be excellent. Super excellent."

Next stop, calculus.

Bob's Gratitude Leaf

At least he's honest.