Ted Said What?

Possible captions for this photo:

"I'll be right back, I'm headed in to eat the delicious bathroom trash."

"Sirens are coming down the street, my howling will commence shortly. Prepare to be entertained."

"I'm done tail-dusting the chair, shall I do the piano bench next?"

"Did you guys hear the mailman? I'm pretty sure I heard the mailman. Please stand back while I protect us from the mail."

"There's a disgusting smell in the backyard. Will you let me out so I can find and eat whatever is making that disgusting smell?"

"Hold on a minute. Are you actually going to finish that sandwich without giving me the last bite? Who ARE you?"

"If anyone needs me, I'll be on Bob's bed licking my nethers. As usual."

"I have secured the perimeter. I am now ready to stare at you while you use the restroom. Let's go."