Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Wherein I Defy WebMD


When the top of my left foot slammed into the bottom of the chair at the hair salon, it hurt but I was in too much of a hurry to give it a lot of thought. My foot was only bleeding a little and we were leaving town early the next morning and I hadn’t finished packing yet. There was no time allotted in my schedule for any type of injury.

I had read that the weather would be hot and humid while we were in New York. More importantly, it would be hot and humid while my hair was in New York. Humidity is not kind to my hair. Anything above 70% humidity transports my sleek do immediately back to 1986, a sporty style that would only be appropriate if I was into Whitesnake. While I have made many, questionable decisions over the years, being into Whitesnake, isn’t one of them. You know, yet.

My friend Karen, a living witness to my old 80's hair, had gently insisted that I get my roots done before my trip and also try the new “Brazilian Blow Out.” The Brazilian Blow Out is a three-hour hair procedure that promises to eliminate frizz and keep even those of us blessed with a Weird Al hair situation looking fabulous. As a bonus, my mom had mentioned to one of her friends that I was getting a “Brazilian” and I then got to explain to my mother, the difference between a Brazilian and a Brazilian.

By midnight, my newly glorious hair and I were zipping up Bob’s Thomas the Tank Engine suitcase. I had six hours to sleep before the trek to the airport. Conventional wisdom and my primary care physician, aka WebMd, suggested elevation, Ibuprofin and intermittent ice packs for my foot but I was tired. My hair was tired. I closed my eyes and I slept. My foot apparently, did not. When the alarm went off the next morning, I found that my throbbing, blue and swollen foot had taken on a life of its own: a life that would not fit easily into any cute shoes. "Not easily” is not the same as “will not” so I jammed the foot in and kept going.

The next four days were a blur of walking, running, stair climbing, standing, escalators, subways, cabs, planes, and dancing. Much of this done in high heels. I popped an Advil now and then but not once did I visit the ice machine down the hotel hallway and apply ice to my foot. The only time I elevated it was when I was sleeping and that was unavoidable. I was having a great time. I could not hear my foot screaming above the din of all of the New York fun we were having. And by “we” I mean me and my lovely hair and my other foot.

To be continued…

15 comments:

  1. While I do agree with your philosophy of invisibility, I can tell this is not going to end well.

    To be continued...

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  2. Yeah. I was going to say- I don't think this is going to end well.

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  3. I have to say, blog hater that I am, that I love your blog and that after subscribing would be something I'd "get to" in my inbox on weekends or when I had time. I have to admit though, it's one of the first things I read every day when I turn on the computer.
    Ice, elevate and call your doctor (but you knew that).

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  4. Who cares about your foot? Did the Brazilian, by which I mean the Brazilian blow out work? As we all know, it is way more important to look good than to feel good.

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  5. My "gently suggested" was more like a drill sergeant on day one of boot camp.
    Friends don't let friends have bad hair.

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  6. Oh please tell me you went to the doctor last week. Sheesh woman. you know...feet are our friends right? We need to be nice to them.

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  7. Oh, you poor, poor darling... but gosh, your hair sure sounds like it was beautiful! And Brazilian HAIR??! and I agree with Ilene - it is ALWAYS more important to look good than to feel good, dah-link... (can't wait for part II)

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  8. A cliffhanger is just mean. And now I am worried about you.

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  9. The "to be continued" part means you're going to tell us how your hair held up, right?

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  10. I miss Bob's take. What does he say about mama's foot?

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  11. Love who "we" are, among other things. Oh, and thanks for the link back to 1986. And by "thanks", I mean "how could you?"

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  12. A hair cliffhanger!! I'm dieing!!!! I'm afraid to hear what's next.

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  13. Oh come on now...don't keep us in suspense!!! And be happy you have hair that needs to be tamed with a three hour blow out. I would kill to have hair I could actually DO something with. Mine is stick straight and just lays there. My friend, who has thick, coarse, impossible but wonderful hair once said, "yeah, but your's is so shiny! I have to go two days without washing my hair to get that shine!" So I guess there's always that.

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