Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Uncharted

 
Tomorrow Bob will start first grade. His kindergarten was a half day so this will be his first time with a full day schedule. It feels like a big deal. This is a day I have both waited for and dreaded for a number of years. I'm a little worried about separation anxiety. Mine, not Bob's. Bob will do great.

I have longed for the day when I would have more time to get things done. And now? I'm not exactly sure what those things are. I am sure this is a momentary lapse and these free hours will become packed quickly with The Busy. In the meantime, there might be a little wall staring and house wandering.

I have loved my time with small Bob. I feel fortunate to have been in the position to stay home with him. Faced with this new season, I know I will love my time with bigger Bob too. However, my job description is changing. My little boss will need me a teeny bit less and in different ways. I'm not sure what this will look like yet or how I will wear it. I can't decide if it feels like a promotion or a demotion. Maybe it's a lateral move.

I will miss him.








33 comments:

  1. Oh this is so tough, my son starts kindergarten this year which is a full day here and I can't even imagine him being gone for that long of a day. I keep telling him I'm going to come to school with him in his backpack which probably just makes me the creepy mom. Good luck to you!

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  2. You will be amazed at how quickly that "whole day" goes by. I always was, anyway. And yes, you will miss your boy and yes, learning to let go is the hardest thing a parent does, I think, and so you have to start practicing early and First Grade is a huge part of that.
    All will be well.

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    1. Thanks, Mary. I know you know the deal. xo

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  3. You will no doubt handle this transition with your usual grace and poise and it will be the new normal before you know it. And don't worry - he's still Little Bob.

    XOXO
    Anna

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    1. Thanks, Anna. He'll always be tiny to me! xo

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  4. You'll do great, too. There will be more to listen to every day; you need the quiet in between.

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  5. I have one in high school, one in middle school, and one in fifth grade, and I am still not sure of how "to wear it." I learn as I go along, and so will you.
    Enjoy the ride!
    And have fun in first grade, Bob. You will rock it!

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  6. It's a lateral move. You're still his mama. And he needs you always.

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  7. What a lovely and eloquent post, as always.

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  8. You just made me cry, Lisa. SO perfectly put. My gosh. G started kindergarten last week. Full day, sister! These changes are astounding.

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  9. Beautiful. While I don't get to be a stay at home mom, I know the feeling of suddenly seeing your children as big and maybe not needing you quite as much. It never gets easy, no matter the age.

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  10. My twins start kindergarten, and the week after the youngest goes to MDO three times a week. On the one hand, this is what I've been waiting for; on the other, I will miss them so much. Starting school is like entering a vortex that will last for the rest of their childhood.

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  11. Good luck, mama. Bowie started Kindergarten on Monday, and they are full day (8-2). I didn't realize I would miss him so much, I just figured meh, I'm used to it, he did preschool. But it's a lot different than preschool. It's the first time ever he's not had lunch with us. And the house is SO quiet, even with 11 month old Ferris running around. Why do they have to grow up and leave us so soon???

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  12. It's really hard, I know, Lisa. But I enjoyed my kids' older childhood much more than their "little" years. From 5&7 (there are 2 years between them) to 10&12 were the wonder years for me. I did feel sad when each of them started elementary school but the day I remember very clearly was when I took my son over to the Halls of Residence when he left home to go to University. That absolutely felt like the end of one part of my life! I drove most of the 140 kilometres home in tears. Strangely, it didn't upset me nearly as much when my daughter made the same journey 2 years later...
    Think of how Bob's grown (in so many amazing ways)in the years since he was born; think of the exponentially amazing ways he's going to grow in the next 5, 10, 15 years. So exciting!

    Hugs xo

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    1. It is exciting. I can't imagine college! xo

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  13. THIS IS EXCITING, LIS!!! It's exciting for Bob. It's exciting for you & Mr. Rosenberg. :-)

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  14. It's so bittersweet. And I think it is a lateral move. Your duties just change a little. ;) xo

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