Thursday, May 22, 2014

Master Spam Theater


Do Not Touch. Hot Set.

As a former basic cable television professional, I know the importance of good lighting, set decoration, and overall production value. It took at least three minutes and an under-caffeinated crew of one (+Teddy) to pull together this chair/pillow/floor lamp/computer/dog situation that I will be using as the studio for my shoot. Aaand action.

My friends and I who have blogs, get an incredible amount of spam comments everyday. Imagine the spam you get to your email about the Ugandan Prince who would like you to claim 400 pounds sterling through his off-shore account, times 1,000. Just deleting these crazy comments is a full time job. In awkward English, our spammers are trying to sell something. Often we can't figure out what that product is, exactly.

Because my friends and I never turn down the chance to look like complete asses on the internet, we have put together some dramatic readings of some of these spam posts. We call it, Master Spam Theater.

Please turn up the volume on your computer and/or phone, enjoy the following video, and let us never speak of it again.

Or click here to watch on youtube.

video


You will find links to the other readings below from my friends Ann Imig and Tarja Parssinen.

http://annsrants.com/
http://www.theflyingchalupa.com/



39 comments:

  1. I'm laughing. Aloud. --YerFellowAss

    ReplyDelete
  2. That dry delivery just about killed me. If you would only...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Had to listen again because funny!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Spirits!
    Love, love, love.
    Weight loss Hair????

    Fantastic read.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Question mark. Question mark. Question mark!" Hahahahaha! You're hilarious, Lisa.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Heh. Oh, spam. Never fails to entertain. Love this.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Brilliant! Also, will be needing that contact info for Weight Loss Hair. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The tension and human drama was absolutely palpable. Gripping. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sick and tired of the men gossip. So true, so true.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "If you would only..."

    WHAT??? If you would only WHAT???
    Great, now I won't sleep tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am hunting 'round for the information you offer as China is dumping its gold fastly dear reader.

    ReplyDelete
  12. DYING! And kicking myself for not jumping it. Then remembering that I don't have the budget for the big time lighting and set design like you do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's called years of experience, Kho. YEARS.
      You're next.
      xo

      Delete
  13. I'm with Melisa - Huh? What? What?

    Nice reading. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  14. *snort* As the teen daughter would say: "HILARS!"

    Well played, my friend.

    XO
    A.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Giggling with grace and dignity. SNORT!

    ReplyDelete
  16. If you would only…If you would only?? If you would ONLY?? What?? Gah!! We'll never know! So, so funny! Please do a round 2!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank you. Better than a cat video

    ReplyDelete