Tuesday, August 25, 2009


On our trip to the pediatrician for Bob’s three-year check up, the lovely Dr. Bess explained that the time had come to start talking to Bob about the concept of private parts and who is and is not allowed to touch his.

We have had the conversation a number of times since then, and Bob gets the “approved guest list” to Privates Land that we have mandated but he seems most interested in who else has private parts. The answer “everyone” seems to be unacceptable to him. He would like specifics.

“Mama has private parts?”


“And Daddy?”

“And Daddy.”

“And Bajan and Pops and MeeMee and Daisy?”

“Yes, everyone has private parts.”

“Who else?”

As we stood in line at the grocery store, the shoppers on aisle seven were treated to this delightful discourse:

“That lady has private parts?”

“Yes, Bob I’m sure she does. Let’s use a quiet voice.”

“What about that man? He has private parts?”

“Yeah. Would you like a juice box? How about a banana? Want to look at this book?”

“What about that guy?” Bob points to a photo on the cover of Star magazine.

“Yes. Brad Pitt has private parts. How about a new topic?”

“What about the lady”

“Mrs. Pitt also has privates. Now, shhh.”

“And her too?” he asks, pointing to a photo of Britney Spears.

“For awhile her parts weren’t so private but now I think they are again."


"Let's just get to the car please." Tough crowd.


  1. Oh, the things to come! My boy has discovered his private parts...and tries to wipe mine when I pee, but luckily those are the only privates he's concerned with right now. Based on your story, I'm sure that will change! So funny!

  2. We just had to tell Jack, the night before his first day of kindergarten, "Do not talk about your private parts in school." A sentence I never thought I'd use.

  3. Just wait until Bob begins asking about the tampon dispensing machines in the ladies bathrooms. That is just as fun.