If Bob Had a Twitter Account...

@thebobrosenberg

My obsession with garbage trucks has ended. Don't tell my folks, it would kill them. #nowilovetractors

Can not face the day without Wonder Pets. (Coffee = Whatever)

My dream dinner party: Elmo, Thomas the Tank Engine, Iggy Pop, Darth Vader, Curious George, and Mr. Jerry our gardener.

I get crazy loud and annoying whenever my mom gets on the phone. I love watching her freak out while silently trying to shut me up.

I like candy.

Hair washing is apparently a legal form of torture. Ditto teeth brushing. #stoptheinsanity

I only pretend to know what they mean by “use your regular voice.” Whining IS my regular voice.

I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it. You heard me.

I see dead people. Just kidding.

My dog smells like wet corn chips. I don’t know what our cat smells like. She won’t let me near her after that time with the whistle.

It’s 3pm. Mom’s still in pajamas. #whatelseisnew

I’ve done the research. Sharing is overrated.

Re: the whole potty training deal. Crapping my pants was so much easier.