Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Lexicon of Mom


Drop Off
Pre-Motherhood Definition: What happens when one peacefully falls asleep in accordance with the body’s natural rhythms.

Post-Motherhood Definition: What happens three mornings a week at the pre-school to remind me that yes, I am in fact the only parent who just woke up within the last 15 minutes and that the giant sunglasses fool no one. And my kid and I are both wearing the shirts we slept in.


Chuffing
Pre-Motherhood Defintion: Catch all term to describe a number of NC-17 related activities.

Post-Motherhood Definition: The sound Thomas the Tank Engine makes


529
Pre-Motherhood Defintion: Prefix of my home phone number at the old Korea Town apartment.

Post-Motherhood Definition: Our tax free college savings plan that at our current rate of deposit and return, will at yield in the year 2024, easily pay for ½ a semester’s tuition at a local junior college.


Cubby
Pre-Motherhood Defintion: Vintage Disney Mouseketeer of the old school pre-Spears, pre-Timberlake, pre-Aguilera era.

Post-Motherhood Definition: Wooden receptacle in the pre-school classroom housing a laminated photo of my son, an art project fashioned from silk leaves + 3 tablespoons of glitter + paper plate, and a Ziploc bag holding one clean pair of Size 4T Elmo themed underpants.


Flats
Pre-Motherhood Defintion: Charming apartments in London - Hugh Grant/Notting Hill

Post-Motherhood Definition: Shoes without heels that have rendered all pre-pregnancy pants three inches too long.


Nap
Pre-Motherhood Defintion: A suffix for the word “Disco.”

Post-Motherhood Definition: Sweet, sweet, two hours of daily freedom which ended when the kid moved into the big boy bed.

5 comments:

  1. I feel ya on all of these. But in our house, Nap is something that the carpet is void of due to the regular stampede of teenagers that run through the house.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My son and I regularly go to pre-school drop off, both wearing the shirts we slept in. In fact, most of the moms at our preschool are dessed just like me. Reason #2395 that I love our preschool.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Our tax free college savings plan that at our current rate of deposit and return, will at yield in the year 2024, easily pay for ½ a semester’s tuition at a local junior college.Namenda

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