Friday, December 4, 2009

To Santa, From Bob Rosenberg

Dear Mr. Santa,
I know we may not have a lot of private time to talk next Thursday at the Farmer’s Market when we’re there for pictures, so I am writing you this letter.

You seem super nice on TV. Rudolph is my favorite reindeer but during that show I get up and hide my eyes during the Abominable Snow Man part and also when that mean elf (that mom says sounds like Lewis Black) yells at the short dentist. I don’t know Lewis Black but I know Rudolph and he seems good and that everyone should stop yelling at him.

This whole naughty versus nice deal I'm not so sure about but I guess I've been really nice especially if you are willing to overlook my try-to-scare-the-cat-and-get-her-to-run-into-the-closet-by-all-the-boots game that I was playing a lot in April. Our cat, Pearl, hisses at me sometimes but she is crabby and I think she secretly likes me. Sometimes.

Don’t take it personally if our dog Daisy barks at you during your chimney part of going in our living room on Christmas. Daisy doesn’t like uniforms like the mailman or the UPS guy or the FedEx guy. I think maybe your big elf uniform will fall into her “don’t like” category. I will leave you some cookies and snacks and if you give her one, she will be your friend and try to lick your neck and maybe try to steal the rest of the snacks, so look out.

Today I handed my mom the toys catalog to show her what I wanted for Christmas presents. She asked me which thing I was looking at in there and I told her I was looking at everything in there. She said I should narrow it down to one thing or that I could let you pick for me. Mr. Santa, I know you are a busy guy and everything so I thought you could save yourself the hassle of going through all the pages in the toys catalog and picking and just send over all of the toys in there since it’s all really good stuff, even the girl things. My mom thought this was not a good idea so I thought I should tell you myself in case she doesn’t give you my message.

Have a good flight and please tell Rudolph I think his red light up nose is neat and if I had one on my face I wouldn’t use that nightlight of a seahorse anymore. See you on Thursday.

Your pal,
Bob Rosenberg


  1. Dear Bob,

    Considering yesterday's photo of you, you clearly need clothes. Hate to be a buzz kill, but winter is coming.

    Love and slippers,

  2. p.s. And please listen to your mom and stop climbing up the shelves without your pants on. (Nobody but your mom likes to look at your cheeky buns.) I give all the elves that do that here in the N.P. a little coal in their stocking. Some of them still haven't learned. Be a good boy Bob.