A Graduation Letter

 

06-04-2025

Bob, I've written a list of things I think are important to keep in mind as you go forward.

Spend less than you earn.

Kindness.

Eat lots of plants. A burrito is not really a plant.

Save 20% of what you earn in an index fund or ETF, and keep an emergency fund equal to six months income in a high interest savings account and also max out your retirement accounts every year.

When in doubt, lead with love.

Fight fair.

Read more books.

Always take a breath and consider the consequences.

Hold on to a positive outlook, hold it close.

Know how to write a check.

Learn something new - often.

Vote.

Stay away from debt. Own it - don't owe it. 

Your gift is what comes easy to you that is hard for most.

Follow your creative heart. Your art is important. 

Complain less, be grateful for more.

Keep a list of your goals. Update it regularly.

Don't take directions from the lost. Seek out mentors.

Take time away from your phone. 

Celebrate everything, even and especially the small things.

Comparisons are the real devil's workshop.

Don't waste time longing for the future - enjoy the life you have right now. Like, this very moment.

Less stuff = more freedom. In your twenties, if you can fit all of your belongings in a compact car, that's a plus.

Failure is just your first attempt in learning. Mistakes are necessary. 

Have all the feelings. The heart grows in all directions.

Live with integrity.

Be gentle.

Help others.

Stand up for those who need it. You'll know.

Use a budget - written down. Don't ballpark it. 

Sensitivity is a strength. 

Accepting help? Also a strength.

Believe in yourself. (Know that we believe in yourself.)

Take care of your body physically and emotionally and spiritually. 

Feelings are not facts. 

Don't worry about things out of your control.

Go for a walk.

I'm grateful to you for teaching me about deep joy, unconditional love, the infield fly rule, and Emperor Palpatine the phantom menace ruler of the galaxy who manipulated the system of the Star Wars Galactic Republic,.

We are so proud of you and we will always welcome you home.

Love, Mom

High School Graduation

 

Bob, I've written a list of things I think are important to keep in mind as you go forward.

Spend less than you earn.

Kindness.

Eat lots of plants. A burrito is not really a plant.

Save 20% of what you earn in an index fund or ETF, and keep an emergency fund equal to six months income in a high interest savings account and also max out your retirement accounts every year.

When in doubt, lead with love.

Fight fair.

Read more books.

Always take a breath and consider the consequences.

Hold on to a positive outlook, hold it close.

Know how to write a check.

Learn something new - often.

Vote.

Stay away from debt. Own it - don't owe it. 

Your gift is what comes easy to you that is hard for most.

Follow your creative heart. Your art is important. 

Complain less, be grateful for more.

Keep a list of your goals. Update it regularly.

Don't take directions from the lost. Seek out mentors.

Take time away from your phone. 

Celebrate everything, even and especially the small things.

Comparisons are the real devil's workshop.

Don't waste time longing for the future - enjoy the life you have right now. Like, this very moment.

Less stuff = more freedom. In your twenties, if you can fit all of your belongings in a compact car, that's a plus.

Failure is just your first attempt in learning. Mistakes are necessary. 

Have all the feelings. The heart grows in all directions.

Live with integrity.

Be gentle.

Help others.

Stand up for those who need it. You'll know.

Use a budget - written down. Don't ballpark it. 

Sensitivity is a strength. 

Accepting help? Also a strength.

Believe in yourself. (Know that we believe in yourself.)

Take care of your body physically and emotionally and spiritually. 

Feelings are not facts. 

Don't worry about things out of your control.

Go for a walk.

I'm grateful to you for teaching me about deep joy, unconditional love, the infield fly rule, and Emperor Palpatine the phantom menace ruler of the galaxy who manipulated the system of the Star Wars Galactic Republic,.

We are so proud of you and we will always welcome you home.

Dream Catching

Jeff and Bob and I rode in the car together this morning to the mechanic's shop.

"Mama? Daddy? I had a dream about God last night," said Bob.

"What did you dream?" said Jeff.

"I dreamed that God came out of heaven and was a human and walked around on the planet just like the other human people but he wasn't a human, he was still God."

"Wow. Where'd you hear about that?" I said.

"I didn't hear about it, I dreamed it, last night."

"Anything else, Bob?"

"Yeah. Can I please have the other half of my Popsicle for breakfast when we get home?"

"No, but maybe after breakfast, little oracle."

"You mean little Popsicle."

"You're good, Bob."

Ladies Man

Bob and I had lunch in a fancy pants restaurant with two of my girl friends yesterday. After dessert Bob whispered in my ear, "Mom can we go to the beach after this lunch?"

"It's going to be foggy and cold."

"That's okay."

"And we're wearing dress up clothes and don't have sweaters."

"That's okay, Mom."

"Okay. Let's do it. We can only stay for about half an hour though."

Bob then raised his hand to introduce a topic into the grown up conversation, "Pardon me, ladies?"

"What's up, Bob?" said Anna. I smiled, waiting to hear Bob tell them about our beach plan.

"Ladies? I am wearing new Star Wars underpants right now. They have storm troopers on them."

The man's got game.

At the Target

"Bob, my wallet's not in my purse. Maybe they can hold our cart while we go home and get it."

"Don't you have cash in your pocket, Mama?"

"Oh, yeah. I guess I do."

"Is it enough?"

"No. Not for everything we've got here."

"Mom? Let's just put some stuff back."

"That would be smarter wouldn't it?

"And we should just get the stuff I want."

"I see. What about the stuff I want?"

"But we really came here just for my new sneakers and my Wall-E and Star Wars underpants."

"Wow. You are just... so... right."

"Yes I am, Mom."

Decorating

"Violet, you are my kitten sister and I love that you like to sit in my bed and do purring. I know you like my fish mobile up there on the ceiling. I can get you your own mobile or something. Wait. I know just what you should have. Hey Mom? Mom? Can I get a poster of turkey lunch meat? You will love that, Vi. You very will."

3:20 AM

Photo via We Heart It

"Mom? Are you awake? Mom?"

"What's going on, Honey? Are you okay?"

"I had a bad dream. Can you get in my bed, please?"

"Sure. What was your dream about?"

"There was a closet monster and he was a bad guy and there was wind and loud things."

"That sounds scary."

"It was a very nightmare."

"Well let's think of some good things we can dream about instead."

"I'll go first. Ice cream would be a good dream."

"That would be very good. Okay, I'll pick birds flying."

"Together? Like a family?"

"Yes. I like them when they fly in a formation that looks like the letter V."

"Me too. I'll pick ice cream for my next dream after that. Except this time I'll pick chocolate."

"Nice. Okay I need a really good one now..."

"I have an extra good one for you, Mom."

"Let me guess. Ice cream?"

"Yeah and you can pick any flavor you want."

"Sweet dreams, Bob."

Just Wondering

"Hey, Bob. What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, Dad."

"We're always thinking about something,"

"Always?"

"Yep."

"Oh."

"What's on your mind, Buddy?"

"Um... Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure I'm thinking right now?"

Overheard at the Park

"J.P.? Where are the cup holders on this plane?"

Mammals

"So, Mom?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Can I touch your chest place private parts?"

"What's up?"

"Why do ladies have bigger those parts?"

"Those parts are breasts. They are designed for feeding babies. Lots of animals feed their babies that way."

"People aren't animals, Mama."

"We are, Bud. We're mammals."

"Oh."

"I fed you like that when you were a baby. You don't remember?"

"Mom?"

"Yes, Babe?"

"The truth is a robot cowboy."

"Alrighty."

No, Really. I Took a Nap.

Yesterday, I took a nap. I'm sorry if that statement is confusing. I'm still trying to understand the whole thing myself. To clarify: Yesterday, I slept in the bed, in the daytime, for an hour, uninterrupted.

I know. Who do I think I am?

While I was drooling into my pillow, the men in my household were hard at work creating the next Star Wars movie entitled, The Next Star Wars Movie. Jeff's i-phone camera work has a refreshing NYPD Blue shaky cam quality while Bob's flair for dramatic dialogue is apparent. This :33 second masterpiece leaves many unanswered questions, leaving the door open for yet another sequel and/or prequel.

To help further their cinematic endeavors, I will now selflessly support the arts by planning a semi-regular nap.

Enjoy.

Sometimes It's Like Poetry

I feel good
Like the sky
And the day
And those chocolate pretend seeds
In the watermelon ice pop
~ Bob Rosenberg, 4

What To Do in a Fancy Pants Grown Up Restaurant by Bob Rosenberg

1. You can tell a Fancy Pants Grown Up Restaurant (FPGUR) sometimes by the tablecloths because they have them and there are no trays that you put your own food on.

2. You can tell it's a FPGUR for sure if your mom keeps reminding you to use your "library voice" a whole lot.

3. At a FPGUR there is sometimes a snack before the food so that you don't want to eat your supper as much. Sometimes it's bread and butter and sometimes it's stuff you don't want sitting on some leaves.

4. You can get a burger sometimes or a grilled cheese at some places and those are good. Ask to get "fry-cans" with your burger. Your mom or dad will explain to the other grown ups that when you were the baby-of-you, you loved garbage cans so much and they were your favorite so the baby-of-you added the word "can" to everything and you still call fries, "fry-cans" and isn't that funny?

5. You already knew since you were a little kid, like last year or month, that french fries are called "french fries" made from potatoes but you should still call them "fry-cans" because you like to hear the story about the garbage cans and everything.

6. Slide under the table and look at feet and shoes.

7. After your dad makes you put your bottom back in the seat, drop some restaurant crayons or a Bakugan under the table and then they have to let you go back under the table and you can look at some more feet and shoes.

8. Get full with the bread snack and some butter chunks and then fall asleep with your head on your mom's lap. You will do dreaming and everything during all of the grown up talking and the really super long coffee part of dinner and that is really good.

9. When the FPGUR dinner is over you can get carried out by your dad and not even have to walk and then you can eat your burger at home on your Star Wars plate like normal.

Identity Crisis

"Mom? Can you take this Queen Amidala picture from me? I am tired of holding it."

"No. Not right now. I'm driving."

"You need to take it now or I'm going to have to do backseat driving."

"What do you mean? Because you know I don't like your backseat driving you're going to do it?"

"Yes I am."

"So, you're threatening me?"

"Yes. It's a threat."

"Bobby, we don't threaten people to get our way. That is not nice or kind."

"It's only for bad guys?"

"Exactly. And you're not a bad guy."

"I'm a good guy."

"Correct."

"Sorry, Mom. I forgot."

The View From Here

"Uncle Dave? I'm organizing these things in my suitcase, Uncle Dave. Do you know what 'organizing' means, Uncle Dave?"

"Tell me, Bob."

"It means where you put everything back in its right place."

"Right. See my office here? I'm extremely organized."

"I can tell, Uncle Dave. Look, your whole body is organized by God."

"Good one, Bob."

How to Earn the Nickname "Grandpa" at Four Years-Old

While eating cantaloupe remark that it is, "Such a lovely melon."

When at home, insist on wearing sweatpants instead of "regulars."

Pull the waistband of your at-home sweatpants up to your nipples.

When a passenger in a car, worry loudly from the backseat that, "we are lost and going too fast."

When you drop your light saber whisper under your breath, "For the love of Pete."

Shun unheated swimming pools, but enjoy some "relax time" in the hot tub.

Fall asleep during reruns of JAG.

Answer the phone by putting the call on speaker phone and shouting "Hello? Hello? Who is this?"

Grunt when getting in and out of the car.

When dining at Shaker's Coffee Shop, order "the usual."

Have your folks bless you with the name, Bob Rosenberg.

Hey, Lady

"Was that big lady alive before, Mom?"

"No, Bob. That's a statue."

"But the statues at the Natural Mystery Museum used to be alive."

"The animals at the Natural History Museum are different."

"Because they are made out of dead animals that used to be alive but now they are dead and statues?"

"Um, yeah? Yeah. Yes."

"And the big lady statue was not a lady?"

"No. A sculptor made her out of metal."

"Mom?"

"Yes, Buddy?"

"She has really, really big parts."

Not the End of the World

"My guys at the park said they were going to destroy the world, Mom."

"They were just pretending."

"No, they meant it and it was real not pretend."

"Your guys don't have that kind of power, Honey. They were pretending."

"No. It was real and if they destroy the world then that means they will destroy me and you."

"That's not going to happen, Babe."

"And snacks, Mom. They will destroy all of the snacks and lunches and everything."

"Now that, would be a tragedy."

Riled

"Mom? May I get another cookie? The coconut kind with the chocolate?"

"No, Babe. You've already had two this morning. You can have another one after lunch."

"But Mom!"

"I said no, Bob."

"Mom! You are making me so mad! I am so super frustrated at you right now, Mom!"

"I understand that you're disappointed but that seems like a bit of an overreaction."

"I am going to throw this towel and kick my chair!"

"Think about it, Bob. Make a good choice."

"I want to make all bad choices!"

"Just like Mama in the 80's."

"What?"

"Okay, fine. And the 90's."

At the Museum

The Triumph of Virtue and Nobility Over Ignorance, c. 1740-50

Giovanni Battista Tiepolo

"Mama, why are those babies falling?"

"They aren't falling, they're flying. See their wings? They're angels. Baby angels are called cherubs or putti."

"Why are their arms up?"

"They're helping, I think."

"Helping the good guys?"

"You could say that."

"Are they happy? I don't know if they're happy with those faces."

"I think they are doing their jobs."

"You call me, 'putti' sometimes."

"I do."

"I don't have wings."

"You do to me, Putti."