Thursday, April 22, 2010

Shh...


Jeff and I are lying in bed. He leans over and turns off the light.

"Good night."

“Good night... Jeff?”

“Yes, babe?”

“I was thinking about the amount of frozen food we’ve been heating in the microwave and how all of the food in those plastic containers with the dioxin are so bad for you and then I think if I take Trader Joe’s frozen Indian food out of my diet, what’s left? Then I feel lazy for relying on it so much and how I should be cooking more and you know, maybe I should get rid of all of our plastic containers and switch over to glass for everything for our health and the environment and stuff?

I heard this report that a lot of the 'organic' products from Whole Foods are from China and other countries where the word 'organic' is sort of a crap-shoot. I know we didn’t see Food Inc because we already know everything’s messed up but are afraid to know how much and maybe we should be vegetarians? I love animals but I also love bacon and where do you go with that? I mean really, looking into the eyes of a cow? They're very soulful.

I'm thinking maybe we should move up Bob's bedtime. He keeps falling asleep unplanned and taking weird disco naps during the day and then he's up too late. You know, I realized that he is the only one of the three of us right now with a valid passport. Both of ours expired. I should pick up new paperwork for us next time I’m at the post office. We need to get your car serviced since the maintenance light is on. When should we do that? We can figure it out. I’m snack mom next Wednesday and the color of the week is orange and I can’t think of anything fun but maybe I should just go with obvious orange things? I don’t know. For Bob's party, do you think one of the trees in the front yard would be strong enough to hold a piƱata?"

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you having an anxiety attack right now?”

“No. I’m not having an anxiety attack. Why? Do I seem like I’m having an anxiety attack? What makes you say that?”

“If I had half of that stuff running around in my head I would definitely be having an anxiety attack. All the time.”

"Maybe I need to make another list."

"Maybe you just need to go to sleep."

"Yeah, you're right... Good night."

"Good night."

"But seriously what about the pinata?"

14 comments:

  1. So great. That is Mars and Venus on display. You just outed the running monologue that is going in every woman's head at all times.

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  2. why god created ear plugs ~ love that!

    Bob looks peaceful after a long day of using The Force for good not evil.

    Truthfully, I am having a panic attack most of the time 'cuz the inside of my head is just a wee bit more scary than yours. Eek! Sometimes I just want to remove my brain. Oh wait, that's what television is for.

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  3. This happens at our house every night. David calls it my "bedtime talky". I feel the need to dump my brain out before bed so I can actually, you know, sleep.

    Silly men, focusing only on one thing.

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  4. Brilliant.

    This is why I take Ambien.

    :)

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  5. I can totally relate. See, what the men don't get is that saying all of that outloud is what keeps us from having the panic attacks. AND what keeps their world (and cars) from falling apart, and what keeps birthday parties from sucking. You're awesome with your crazy brain reeling at night!

    Oh, and cheddar cheese, tangerines, mandarin oranges, dried apricots, orange yogurt, orange juice, carrots, mangos, sweet potato french fries, pumpkin muffins, orange bell peppers, cantaloupe, kumquats, cheeze-wiz, cheetos, orange fruit leather, cheeze-its, doritos. I'll think of more when I'm trying to fall asleep tonight.
    See--I told you I can relate.

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  6. Oh this sounds exactly like my life!!! I did recently get rid of all the glass BTW.

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  7. Nothing in this world would get done if it weren't for women. We take care of all the little details. But maybe that's our downfall. We are enabling the men in our lives to remain useless. Or maybe it's because they just don't do things the right way. Hmmm

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  8. Or you could ask your Honey to take your mind off of things. (Ahem!)
    Or have I spent too much time talking to my French friend?
    xoxo

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  9. Worst time for my anxiety to kick in - any minute after 10:00.

    What time is it right now?

    Good night.

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  10. holy cow, i know. i tried so hard to not do any of that monologuing in front of jeff last night, as i had so much i wanted to ask him and tell him about us and you and him and bob and LA and bands and his work, etc, etc. (terry might have monologued a bit actually.)

    i think i did alright until the end of the night when we were saying goodbye, and i told him he "had balls". (it seemed like the right time, if ever, to use the phrase "you've got balls". jeff can elaborate.)

    awkward pause.

    jeff says to terry, "i think your wife just complimented my endowment."

    goodnight!

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  11. I am the same way. Oh, and Karen's right, you know. It does help take your mind off things. When I can't sleep, it's on those nights when we haven't... you know...

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  12. This is so flippin' funny. It is so me. And I'm thinkin', this is why I can't get in the mood for, you know... my brain is thinking about all these things. Oh to be a male and so singularly focused.

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