Monday, April 26, 2010

Shrub Negotiator

In celebration of Earth Day, Bob and I bought some hydrangeas to plant on the sunny side of the house by the driveway. As we unloaded them from the car, he asked me where we'd be planting them.

"I thought we could put the big one right here."

"But Mama, there's already a bush there."

"I thought we could take that out."


"It's weird and sort of homely and I thought the big flower plant would look better."

"You need to leave it. Please."

"It won't be that hard to pull up."

"The bush says it's been there a long time and it really wants to stay there. It's begging."

"The bush is begging?"

"Yes. It's happy there."

"Do all the plants talk to you?"

"All the time."

"Really? What do they say?"

"Everything. Just like us."

In honor of Earth Day and my son's apparent relationship with vegetation, the bush stayed put. Obviously.


  1. Can Bob talk to my plants and ask them why they keep dying? Have a great week!

  2. That label "I'm not kidding" implies that at times you are. Oh crap, now I'll never know if the Bob-O-Link is saying this stuff or if you're making it up. Woe is me.

    Do you think he can swing by and talk to my hydrangea? I really think it needs something but am not sure what.

  3. Did you know that you were raising the Shrub Whisperer?

  4. Aw, that's sweet. Even if it does translate to you having to keep the homely bush. I'm sure it's happy!

  5. Cheryl! No - I don't make up any of the crazy Bob stuff. Sometimes I can hardly believe some of the stuff he comes up with - hence the "I'm not kidding." Bob is purely non-fiction. He is also available for small landscaping gigs.

  6. I want a bush whisperer too.

  7. It's true. Bob's hooked in on a very deep level.
    He needs to talk to my pepper plant. She's kind of a gossiper.

  8. Bring me your child. I must know how unhappy my bushes are about being all unkempt and desperately needing cut back!

  9. I think that I shall never see,
    A Bob as lovely as a tree.

  10. I'd like to borrow Bob at some point if you don't mind. I've got some shrubs that need a good talking to. Or listened to. Or something.

  11. I knew it! I've been suspecting this for a long time.

    Bob sounds like such a fun kid.

    I really enjoyed meeting you the other night. You are a fascinating person and I'm looking forward to getting to know you better. Thanks for commenting on The Jason Show today!

  12. Could Bob talk to my dog? Maybe she'd understand his language. Swear words keep confusing her, apparently.

  13. Bob is one smart kid, I've said that before. I love it when kids CARE.