Tuesday, October 20, 2009

They Are Watching You


On any given day, you can find deep within the closets, sofa cushions and laundry hampers of our home, stuffed animals hidden by our dog, Daisy. These critters, originally belonging to Bob, have been adopted by Daisy and now rest in various stages of “broken in.”

Stage 1: Licked until soggy, then sun and or mud dried until crunchy.

Stage 2: Pointy parts (noses, tails, feet) nibbled on down to the fabric.

Stage 3: Thin strands of stuffing delicately peeking through one tiny hole in the fur.

Stage 4: Eyes missing.

Stage 5: Full disembowelment and strewn stuffing carnage.

The final stage takes place in the backyard and although it is generally 6th in the order, in the manner of cause and effect it would be more appropriately labeled Stage 4-1/2.

Final Stage: The poos have eyes. You heard me.

Picture that image in your mind’s eye.

Because I love you, I will not provide a photo. You’re welcome.

9 comments:

  1. If Daisy's poos have eyes (an even scarier movie concept than crazy flesh eating hill people) then my daughter's had feet. She used to bite the feet off her Barbie dolls.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm laughing my head off here.
    So lucky to be at home, alone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oy. Now that's a mental image I'm thankful to not have visual evidence to compare! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Trust me, I know exactly what you mean! I have 3 dogs (2 champion chewers) who get stuffed toys from PetsMart. My dogs' toys go through the same stages, as does their poop. Maybe we should exchange poop pics.

    Or not. That was really gross. Sorry. It's been a long day. Just know you're not alone in this struggle.

    ReplyDelete
  5. is it weird that i kinda want to see a poop with eyes? put a small top hat on it and give it a cane... then it will be deserving of it's own blog label. "eyes in the back of my poop"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Remember when you could go weeks and weeks without even THINKING about poo? It was a simple swear word in a different form?

    Me, neither.

    Reminds me of a story involving a smooth rock, a daughter, and an emergency room...and about 78 more stories in my repertoire of poo stories. Growing every day.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My dog is also evil to helpless stuffed animals. For some reason he always goes for the eyes first. What is with that? Then he eats all of the stuffing out of it unless we find him and stop him first.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Haha, my verification word for the last comment was "cateat". That's funny and almost fitting for this post!

    ReplyDelete