Monday, March 8, 2010
Bob informed us that today is Darth Vader’s birthday. If you are planning on celebrating Mr. Vader’s birthday, you may benefit from the following celebration time-line that we used.
1. Leave your child unattended in the kitchen for several minutes and do not return until the silence takes on an eerie quality.
2. Discover that child has emptied contents of 5lb flour canister on kitchen floor while assembling “Darth Vader’s birthday cake.”
3. Admire cake. (Mound of flour on plate with candles inserted.)
4. Witness child’s Darth Vader Birthday Dance and resulting flour trail of family footprints through dining room into child’s bedroom.
5. See dog run through house with leash attached to collar. Dog uses leash as flour spreading instrument.
6. Discourage child from cleaning up using toy vacuum to spread flour into TV area. Child insists on “helping.”
7. Abandon cleaning when child announces that he can, “hear the worms screaming for help” in the big rain puddle outside.
8. Help rescue worms and slugs by placing them gently on the lawn.
9. Return to house and quickly realize that your wheat gluten allergy includes not merely ingesting but also inhaling flour. Resulting allergic reaction will last no more than 40 minutes.
10. Learn lesson in chemistry when premature use of mop/water combines with residual flour to create "floor paste."
11. Make a birthday wish that Yoda’s birthday be celebrated without cake. Spread rumor that Yoda likes ice cream only.
Labels: the force