Monday, March 8, 2010

Darth Vader’s Birthday


Bob informed us that today is Darth Vader’s birthday. If you are planning on celebrating Mr. Vader’s birthday, you may benefit from the following celebration time-line that we used.

1. Leave your child unattended in the kitchen for several minutes and do not return until the silence takes on an eerie quality.

2. Discover that child has emptied contents of 5lb flour canister on kitchen floor while assembling “Darth Vader’s birthday cake.”


3. Admire cake. (Mound of flour on plate with candles inserted.)


4. Witness child’s Darth Vader Birthday Dance and resulting flour trail of family footprints through dining room into child’s bedroom.


5. See dog run through house with leash attached to collar. Dog uses leash as flour spreading instrument.

6. Discourage child from cleaning up using toy vacuum to spread flour into TV area. Child insists on “helping.”


7. Abandon cleaning when child announces that he can, “hear the worms screaming for help” in the big rain puddle outside.

8. Help rescue worms and slugs by placing them gently on the lawn.

9. Return to house and quickly realize that your wheat gluten allergy includes not merely ingesting but also inhaling flour. Resulting allergic reaction will last no more than 40 minutes.

10. Learn lesson in chemistry when premature use of mop/water combines with residual flour to create "floor paste."

11. Make a birthday wish that Yoda’s birthday be celebrated without cake. Spread rumor that Yoda likes ice cream only.

18 comments:

  1. I think that's the best way to celebrate any birthday - but for Darth Vader's? That's incredible :)

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  2. This is too funny! Can't wait to see how he celebrates YOUR birthday.

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  3. This just made me laugh so hard! I can completely picture something like this happening at our house. I'm sure Darth has never experienced such a heart-felt celebration!

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  4. Oh, great. Bob's a better cook than I am.

    And that's what it looks like around here when my husband "helps" with the housekeeping, too!

    May the tidiness be with you...

    XO

    A.

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  5. That's pretty much what the kitchen looks like when Obsessed! gets on a crêpe making binge - only my "child" is nearly 40. I think spreading the ice-cream rumor is the wisest course of action...

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  6. I think you need to print out this book as a gift for Lord Vader:

    http://blog.craftzine.com/archive/2010/03/star_wars-themed_version_of_go.html

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  7. That is fantastic!
    I love new idea for crafts and activities!

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  8. Bob is pretty much a genius, you must admit. And now I may celebrate Darth Vader's birthday every year.

    Please tell Bob "May the force be with you."

    (I really hope that is from Star Wars, or I am going to sound really dumb.)

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  9. Much cuter to read than to experience, I'm sure. Just be sure to lock the ice cream up on Yoda's birthday...

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  10. Man, that's a mess. Funny for us. Probably not for you.

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  11. I had no idea that it was Darth's birthday! My daily planner is useless.

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  12. I'm a big fan of Darth Vader AND Yoda. I hope I don't forget Yoda's birthday. :)

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  13. I think I peed my pants just a little bit.

    Again.

    Stop it.

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  14. Oh my gosh! I can't believe my kid hasn't done this yet for Iron Man's birthday or someone similar! Very, very, very, funny! That was a lame comment, I know, but it's early here and my brain is trying desperately to wake up!

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  15. Yoda does not like ice cream!

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  16. All of these posts take me back to our Star Wars heydey two years ago. So, so funny.

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